SonOfSkinny
New member
Two years ago my Mother's husband left her for another woman. This is not the proper place to discuss the horrible particulars of that event aside from the fact that at the time she was at least 160lbs over weight.
She had gained all of that weight during their 14year - abusive marriage. No one knew what was going on because the abuse was psychological for the most part. She was hiding behind food.
Rather than break down and die when her husband left her she started a regimen of diet and exercise and lost nearly 80lbs in the first year. Now that total is well over 120. She looks great, feels great, and has more energy that I have seen her with since I was a kid. She bumped into her childhood sweetheart (her first boyfriend - when she was 9yrs old and her first kiss) and they fell in love and are engaged.
Cinderella story, right? WRONG.
It appears that due to this 'new life' and happiness she is experiencing most of my family has turned on her. My brother and his wife have accused her of no longer being the Mother and Grandmother they knew and have forbid her to see her grandchildren. Her sister and brother have started treating her like dirt and she only hears after the fact about family parties.
They were so used to this fat woman that would jump for them at a snap, who wouldn't defend herself to anyone and was subservient to the entire family structure. All the while they would berate her about how fat and unhealthy she was. My brother and his wife would tell her how sad they were that their children's Grandmother was going to die of a heart attack before they were in high-school and that she was hurting everyone with her eating and obesity. I tried to get her to loose the weight but it took the tragedy of her husband (the creep) to motivate her. And she did it. And she did it for herself. And now she is happy with herself.
But now she is loosing her family. They have become cold and cruel beyond what I would have thought they were capable. They resent her happiness and her freedom and her success. Now she is paying the ultimate price - her Grandchildren who she loves more than life itself, and her son (much of the problem is with my sister-in-law).
Everyone loved her when she was fat. Everyone called her for parties and to see the kids and to help out and to join in. This all stopped a year ago - and she is alone but for her fiancé and I (and my fiancé). None of us can understand it. They have even demonized us for supporting her.
Does this happen to everyone who beats it? Has she lost her family and those Grandkids? Is there anyone I can have her talk to or something I can read?
If anyone knows of any psychologists that have written about this reaction from family and friends, please let me know. If there is a web-site for this type of support... please... let me know. I need to understand their reaction. She needs to know that she is not alone in the world.
Please. If there is a direction that I can point her before the cycle continues again. She has already gained 12 ponds in the past 3 months.
Help.
It's killing her.
She had gained all of that weight during their 14year - abusive marriage. No one knew what was going on because the abuse was psychological for the most part. She was hiding behind food.
Rather than break down and die when her husband left her she started a regimen of diet and exercise and lost nearly 80lbs in the first year. Now that total is well over 120. She looks great, feels great, and has more energy that I have seen her with since I was a kid. She bumped into her childhood sweetheart (her first boyfriend - when she was 9yrs old and her first kiss) and they fell in love and are engaged.
Cinderella story, right? WRONG.
It appears that due to this 'new life' and happiness she is experiencing most of my family has turned on her. My brother and his wife have accused her of no longer being the Mother and Grandmother they knew and have forbid her to see her grandchildren. Her sister and brother have started treating her like dirt and she only hears after the fact about family parties.
They were so used to this fat woman that would jump for them at a snap, who wouldn't defend herself to anyone and was subservient to the entire family structure. All the while they would berate her about how fat and unhealthy she was. My brother and his wife would tell her how sad they were that their children's Grandmother was going to die of a heart attack before they were in high-school and that she was hurting everyone with her eating and obesity. I tried to get her to loose the weight but it took the tragedy of her husband (the creep) to motivate her. And she did it. And she did it for herself. And now she is happy with herself.
But now she is loosing her family. They have become cold and cruel beyond what I would have thought they were capable. They resent her happiness and her freedom and her success. Now she is paying the ultimate price - her Grandchildren who she loves more than life itself, and her son (much of the problem is with my sister-in-law).
Everyone loved her when she was fat. Everyone called her for parties and to see the kids and to help out and to join in. This all stopped a year ago - and she is alone but for her fiancé and I (and my fiancé). None of us can understand it. They have even demonized us for supporting her.
Does this happen to everyone who beats it? Has she lost her family and those Grandkids? Is there anyone I can have her talk to or something I can read?
If anyone knows of any psychologists that have written about this reaction from family and friends, please let me know. If there is a web-site for this type of support... please... let me know. I need to understand their reaction. She needs to know that she is not alone in the world.
Please. If there is a direction that I can point her before the cycle continues again. She has already gained 12 ponds in the past 3 months.
Help.
It's killing her.
