My Dilemma: Lose Weight/ Build Muscle?

Hey, I'm pretty new to the forum and I have a big dilemma...

I don't know whether to lose weight or build up.

See, I've been on a diet of around 1800 calories/day + exercise (on and off) since I started trying to lose weight and now I want muscle but I don't want to risk fattening up due to more calories being consumed.

Also, I'm the sort of person who will like to have everything organised. If not it will all fall apart. I want to make a schedule and have lots of recipes for healthy meals and all that. - anyone know any good recipe books for fitness freaks?

I have a break until september until college starts and am currently out of work so I have a lot of time on my hands.

I would really appreciate anyone who can help, I just want to kick start everything.

I have a gym membership and I go with my dad, i have some sort of embarrasment going on my own because i am weak. I need to get over it and will get that sorted soon :')




I have no real definition and its all a bit wobbly, flab kind of thing going on. So I'm not sure if I should lose weight to lose the flab or build into it?

any thoughts?
 
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