molested at nine= not worthy of love...

nataliejo

nataliejo

New member
I figured something out today in my ramblings at trying to create a diary entry that was just too big ..

That I was molested at nine, could be the reason I don't feel worthy.

I still feel the shame ...
The shame that something important was taken from me... the shame that something like that happened to me ..the shame my sister was involved at so little an age ...that Mindy did that to us ...

and even though I walked the lonesome street down to my mom's house that night when I realized Mindy was wrong ...
I realized I need to keep myself and my sister away from her
my sister still blames me ... I didnt know till now ..she tells all her friends .. I feel ripped of my stability I so want ...damaged good ..damaged sister ..damaged name...

ahhhh ... now .. I dont need that shame anymore ...
I am walking forward now ..and leaving the past behind ...
I am going to tell my therapist about it ..
the reason I gained was because I didnt want to be attractive, so not to get raped .. I am over that and now I want to be in shape ... but it will be a long journy ..

Mal ..thanks for your story

always
natalie jo
 
I am going to tell my therapist about it ..
Click to expand...
good girl... :D
 
I'm sorry to hear about your past, NJ... but kudos to you for picking up the pieces and starting over. :hug2: I had some wicked crap happen back in the days when I was in my early 20s, but hey.... it was time to move on, because I didn't want to live my life depressed/ fearful. Remain the lovely and confident woman you are today and you're going to look back at this in a completely different light, honey.

I may be a perv, but I do have a heart,

-Sheryl
 
MsGhettoBooty said:
I'm sorry to hear about your past, NJ... but kudos to you for picking up the pieces and starting over. :hug2: I had some wicked crap happen back in the days when I was in my early 20s, but hey.... it was time to move on, because I didn't want to live my life depressed/ fearful. Remain the lovely and confident woman you are today and you're going to look back at this in a completely different light, honey.

I may be a perv, but I do have a heart,

-Sheryl
Click to expand...

Thanks Sheryl
You Rock!
always
love yas
natalie jo
 
I am sorry you had this experience. I know how it feels. I allowed my abuser to have control of me for years. Even after his death, I finally realized that I Had control of my destiny..what had occured didn't define who I was...

I talked to a therapist and took my life back. I am no longer his victim..I am my own woman.

Best of luck to you...the first step is the hardest and you have already conqured that step.
 
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