MikeTG
New member
I was born in 1967 and have been lucky to have a family with good genetics and healthy practices (my entire father's family is strictly vegetarian) otherwise I am sure I would be in much worse shape now.
Also, I had been fit and felt reasonably attractive my entire life. I was a competitive amateur surfer, had a black belt in Tae-Kwon-Do and had a healthy diet (fast-food jonts came much later to Brazil). None of my peers or my environment revolved around weight issues. Heck, I used to steal mangoes from the neighbor's trees!!!!
After my 30th birthday, a combination of a broken heart (not literally!), a bad, bad job, hair loss and a move to the US (I am originally from Rio de Janeiro) I entered a vicious circle that I took to 290 pounds. I use these "reasons" as an example because they are the events I think of when having conversations with others, but the truth -whatever it might be- lies in so many things it is hard to have a clear conversation about it. More importantly, I hope I finally realized it doesn't really matter why, for the purposes of my future.
I used to (and still do) watch movies or shows about fat people being treated bad and never really knew why. The fact is, very often, overweight people are treated poorly because of their physical appearance. But that seems to be true about ugly (in the eye of the beholder) or strange (body piercings, tattos, baldness, etc... -again, in the eye of the beholder-). I don't think that people do it consciously, but I believe they are aware of it. I am aware when I dislike or like someone simply based on their physical appearance... I have dated women who, although very fit, were not particularly attractive of face. I loved them for their personalities and character, but I am ashamed to say that I have refused romantic relationships with equally interesting women who had weight issues (I had the issues, maybe they didn't). I think about my hypocrisy (I am rejected because I am overweight and reject people for the same reason) and see that, at least, I treat myself as I treat others. I do not feel attractive and do not seek out romantic relationships. Both because I would not want to impose my self on someone else and because of my fear of rejection./ I believe that my weight, unlike another genetic factor such as bone structure, hair, etc... is a factor that is dependent on psychology rather than physiology.
Well, enough heart-baring for today. Come back soon for another chapter.
Also, I had been fit and felt reasonably attractive my entire life. I was a competitive amateur surfer, had a black belt in Tae-Kwon-Do and had a healthy diet (fast-food jonts came much later to Brazil). None of my peers or my environment revolved around weight issues. Heck, I used to steal mangoes from the neighbor's trees!!!!
After my 30th birthday, a combination of a broken heart (not literally!), a bad, bad job, hair loss and a move to the US (I am originally from Rio de Janeiro) I entered a vicious circle that I took to 290 pounds. I use these "reasons" as an example because they are the events I think of when having conversations with others, but the truth -whatever it might be- lies in so many things it is hard to have a clear conversation about it. More importantly, I hope I finally realized it doesn't really matter why, for the purposes of my future.
I used to (and still do) watch movies or shows about fat people being treated bad and never really knew why. The fact is, very often, overweight people are treated poorly because of their physical appearance. But that seems to be true about ugly (in the eye of the beholder) or strange (body piercings, tattos, baldness, etc... -again, in the eye of the beholder-). I don't think that people do it consciously, but I believe they are aware of it. I am aware when I dislike or like someone simply based on their physical appearance... I have dated women who, although very fit, were not particularly attractive of face. I loved them for their personalities and character, but I am ashamed to say that I have refused romantic relationships with equally interesting women who had weight issues (I had the issues, maybe they didn't). I think about my hypocrisy (I am rejected because I am overweight and reject people for the same reason) and see that, at least, I treat myself as I treat others. I do not feel attractive and do not seek out romantic relationships. Both because I would not want to impose my self on someone else and because of my fear of rejection./ I believe that my weight, unlike another genetic factor such as bone structure, hair, etc... is a factor that is dependent on psychology rather than physiology.
Well, enough heart-baring for today. Come back soon for another chapter.
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