Mike's Incredible Shrinking Journey!

MikeTG

New member
I was born in 1967 and have been lucky to have a family with good genetics and healthy practices (my entire father's family is strictly vegetarian) otherwise I am sure I would be in much worse shape now.
Also, I had been fit and felt reasonably attractive my entire life. I was a competitive amateur surfer, had a black belt in Tae-Kwon-Do and had a healthy diet (fast-food jonts came much later to Brazil). None of my peers or my environment revolved around weight issues. Heck, I used to steal mangoes from the neighbor's trees!!!!
After my 30th birthday, a combination of a broken heart (not literally!), a bad, bad job, hair loss and a move to the US (I am originally from Rio de Janeiro) I entered a vicious circle that I took to 290 pounds. I use these "reasons" as an example because they are the events I think of when having conversations with others, but the truth -whatever it might be- lies in so many things it is hard to have a clear conversation about it. More importantly, I hope I finally realized it doesn't really matter why, for the purposes of my future.
I used to (and still do) watch movies or shows about fat people being treated bad and never really knew why. The fact is, very often, overweight people are treated poorly because of their physical appearance. But that seems to be true about ugly (in the eye of the beholder) or strange (body piercings, tattos, baldness, etc... -again, in the eye of the beholder-). I don't think that people do it consciously, but I believe they are aware of it. I am aware when I dislike or like someone simply based on their physical appearance... I have dated women who, although very fit, were not particularly attractive of face. I loved them for their personalities and character, but I am ashamed to say that I have refused romantic relationships with equally interesting women who had weight issues (I had the issues, maybe they didn't). I think about my hypocrisy (I am rejected because I am overweight and reject people for the same reason) and see that, at least, I treat myself as I treat others. I do not feel attractive and do not seek out romantic relationships. Both because I would not want to impose my self on someone else and because of my fear of rejection./ I believe that my weight, unlike another genetic factor such as bone structure, hair, etc... is a factor that is dependent on psychology rather than physiology.
Well, enough heart-baring for today. Come back soon for another chapter.:eek:
 
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Hello! I hear you about not wanting to date overweight people even though you are now overweight. I feel somewhat similar. I keep thinking that if I get with an overweight man, I'll never reach my goals because I will be too tempted to eat bad, because he is eating bad. Anyhow, I know it isn't right. I do like a little extra though. I am a hypocrite when it comes to that particular aspect of dating. Anyhow, you are not alone. But I would date cute guys with a little extra over an ugly with a body. To each their own I guess.

Anyhow, I really like that picture. Is that you? Do you have any plans to take off the weight? What is your strategy?
 
hi mike...:) . yeah i agree with miss jelly belly. u look good in that picture and i believe that you can shed off your excess weight. it's just a matter of sheer determination.

personally, i'm not really attracted to sexy guys. yeah, they look good but what else? i like fat guys because i am more comfortable with them, they are homey and nice. personality and intelligence and being a good guy really counts especially with women..i just dont know if its the same way with men.
 
mehriels said:
hi mike...:) . yeah i agree with miss jelly belly. u look good in that picture and i believe that you can shed off your excess weight. it's just a matter of sheer determination.

personally, i'm not really attracted to sexy guys. yeah, they look good but what else? i like fat guys because i am more comfortable with them, they are homey and nice. personality and intelligence and being a good guy really counts especially with women..i just dont know if its the same way with men.


That really made me laugh! I don't know if you were trying to be funny or not. haha

That's too cute that you like fat guys because they are nice and homey! I've never heard anyone say that before.
 
hi mike....
just wanted to say hi and thanks for that "heart-baring" message. I felt the same way about dating overweight men, and now here I am on this forum trying to lose weight! For me it's this....being overweight is like writing your problems out on your sleeve, there is no hiding it. I was into drugs for a time when I was younger and it was easy to hide...I was thin and pretty and no one could tell. It is difficult but you can overcome it. Glad you joined!
 
yeah..its true. im not being funny. some sexy guys ( of course not all!!) are vain and self centered. but of course i like guys who takes care of his health and is physically fit.
 
The turning point. AKA that's some deep, messed up s**t there!

Back once again!! Thanks for the replies. And I did correct my heart-bAring spelling. Good eye!!:eek:

Like I said, Last year I reached 290 pounds on my 5'9" frame (1.76 meters). Since about 1997 ~ 2000 I never fell in love again, didn't want to go out or simply never thought about it. I avoid being in pictures that might end up in front of someone who knew me when I was thin. I had put some money together and went to stay some time in Brazil. Trying to go back in time, I guess.

Obviously it didn't work. But I believe that 2 events were fundamental to my paradigm switch:
1 - While in Brazil I went surfing (I will never, ever be able to explain how fundamental to my self-identity surfing is) and did not enjoy it!
2 - On my return to the US, I met a girl. A girl that I liked (in a way that was new and unexpected) and it didn't work.

I also watched a movie/documentary called What The Bleep Do We Know? and realized that kindness is the answer in a way that I never expected. Kindness expressed and made concrete because it all starts in the mind. Of all the infinite possibilities that exist, it is my decision to give meaning and existence to the universe and if I want to love the world (and I do) then I must also want to love myself.

It is funny how things come to you and synchronicity becomes so real, slapping you square in the face: At the time I started this newest journey into a healthier being (a record so far at 4 months). I came across something Carl Sagan, the astronomer said:

"An immeasurable time ago something happened which we are calling The Big Bang. Perhaps it was God, I don't know, but from that infinitesimal moment matter and energy and possibility flowed out. It took shape and form like stars, moons and planets. At least on one planet it became life, that became intelligent. Now we sit here, looking up at the stars and at each other trying to figure out what it's all about. We are the universe trying to understand itself".

So you see, we have a big responsibility to ourselves, and we don't owe ourselves anything, at the same time. Either way, it is confusing and always changing from our limited perspective. The answer is kindness to ourselves and others. In my case the weight loss is just a side effect.

p.s. - That pix is me, about 8.5 years ago. I am still gathering the courage to post a picture of me now...
 
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I love the quote, a deep thinker. I like that about you.
 
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