Novelty Crosses
New member
Ok, so I started one of these things up to keep up with myself on my weight loss. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to put in here besides the obvious. I guess I will let my fingers ramble until I feel my thoughts are properly justified.
I have always been big my whole life and it made me really mad every time anyone very said something mean to me about my weight but after 18 years you go numb to any bias opinions or stereotypes. I am subject to one stereotype though. For the longest time I had no self control and I'm still dealing with it. It's horrible, it really is. It's only with food too. How odd? I could stop doing drugs and smoking cigarettes for months, even years at a time without any complications in the transitions. But I can't stop myself from overeating? Funny, I have only recently had problems with this again.
My reasons for losing weigh are simple. I would like to fit in smaller clothes, not be self conscious during sex, feel better about myself and not have society cater to my obesity. I'm in a band and when shows start going on I want to be viewed as Steve-o the manly metal bassist, and not Steve-o the FAT manly metal bassist. I want girls to be attracted to me. I mean come on, even I wouldn't fuck me at this stage in my battle of the bulge. I'm tired of being tired and out of energy and being let down when trying on new clothes. OH!!! and I don't think I look good with tits.
With that aside; The main reason why I have lost 45 pounds so far is because I moved to Virginia. My parents sort of dragged me away from my friends and my senior year. Cruel, perhaps but not intentional (love the family). So I don't have the distractions of going out to eat at diners at 3 in the morning with the good old boys or smoking pot and eating a horde of food. I used to work in a kitchen too so sneaking food was always going on. I was in really bad shape in NJ. I plan to move back in July and pursue my music career while going to school for training in audio tech. something to fall back on, you know? Over these past eight months I have done some serious soul searching as well as reaching the lowest of the low of depression. I contemplated just offing myself because I didn't think I could go almost a year without seeing my second family...my dearest of friends. I eventually got over all of that nonsense and decided to do something constructive while I was here. I made a list of goals that I wanted to meet. Losing weight was at the top because I had nothing but time to kill and I already named a few reasons above. I wanted to surprise my good buds when I got back as well as lose the rest of the weight when I moved back. I tried a few different ways to lose weight but all were failing, because they got so boring. Even though I knew they were only going to help me. It finally struck me though. Dance Dance Revolution. I remember playing it a few years prior with a friend. We had a lot of fun doing it and I remember feeling great and sweaty and just being the giant mess of man afterwards. I couldn't get enough of it. So for Christmas I asked for a new PS2 and the rest is history. My old routine consisted of 15 minutes before dinner and 45 after. I eventually said 'screw it' and now I run for a half an hour and then come in for my hour and a half workout on Dance Dance. The techno j-pop songs really get to you after the 409508438 time. So I started putting it on mute and blasting metal while I played. The rest is history and here I am 45 pounds lighter and still hating it. I DID in fact accomplish something that seemed impossible about 5 months ago. My pants and shirts are loose and I even started wearing a belt. I weighed in at 275 when I started this massive lifestyle change. Now I'm at 230 and still going strong. I'll update every two weeks on my progress starting with tonight’s.
5/27
So this whole months I have been on and off with my routine, Working out only like 3 or 4 days out of the week. I decided to start anew this upcoming after tomorrow night. I have horrible OCD when it comes to setting times and dates but Monday will do it. I just bought a new round of cds to work out too. I'm so happy ^_^ I bought clayman by in flames and this new band the absence, Total fucking harmonic orgasm. I want to lose another 20 before NJ and I'm sure I can do it. Graduation is next week and dad is trying to get me a job where he works because no where else will hire me. I will work days and work out in the nights. I have to somehow schedule driving lessons in there so I can get my license. I feel so pumped about everything these days. This month really has been horrid for working out though. It’s partly the heat and lack of motivation. It's all good though. I have made it this far. Only 55 pounds to go. I just hope I can get in that extra 20. I'm tired of complaining to my parents about how much more weight I need to lose. They throw back how proud they are of me and whatnot. I love them, I really do but I wish they would like push me to work out. Then again I am an adult now, immature sure but perhaps they know that I would really appreciate this weight loss more if I did this alone without any pushing. Heh, I am pretty smart when it comes to figuring these things. For motivation I have been printing out pictures of disgustingly obese folk in hopes it will push me. My brother thinks I'm horrible but hey, I'm benefiting from it aren't I? I also printed out lists of effects of this sickness known as obesity. And what a sickness it is. It can cause all sots of trouble for me. I think that is enough pushing. 55 pounds you best watch out YO
I have always been big my whole life and it made me really mad every time anyone very said something mean to me about my weight but after 18 years you go numb to any bias opinions or stereotypes. I am subject to one stereotype though. For the longest time I had no self control and I'm still dealing with it. It's horrible, it really is. It's only with food too. How odd? I could stop doing drugs and smoking cigarettes for months, even years at a time without any complications in the transitions. But I can't stop myself from overeating? Funny, I have only recently had problems with this again.
My reasons for losing weigh are simple. I would like to fit in smaller clothes, not be self conscious during sex, feel better about myself and not have society cater to my obesity. I'm in a band and when shows start going on I want to be viewed as Steve-o the manly metal bassist, and not Steve-o the FAT manly metal bassist. I want girls to be attracted to me. I mean come on, even I wouldn't fuck me at this stage in my battle of the bulge. I'm tired of being tired and out of energy and being let down when trying on new clothes. OH!!! and I don't think I look good with tits.
With that aside; The main reason why I have lost 45 pounds so far is because I moved to Virginia. My parents sort of dragged me away from my friends and my senior year. Cruel, perhaps but not intentional (love the family). So I don't have the distractions of going out to eat at diners at 3 in the morning with the good old boys or smoking pot and eating a horde of food. I used to work in a kitchen too so sneaking food was always going on. I was in really bad shape in NJ. I plan to move back in July and pursue my music career while going to school for training in audio tech. something to fall back on, you know? Over these past eight months I have done some serious soul searching as well as reaching the lowest of the low of depression. I contemplated just offing myself because I didn't think I could go almost a year without seeing my second family...my dearest of friends. I eventually got over all of that nonsense and decided to do something constructive while I was here. I made a list of goals that I wanted to meet. Losing weight was at the top because I had nothing but time to kill and I already named a few reasons above. I wanted to surprise my good buds when I got back as well as lose the rest of the weight when I moved back. I tried a few different ways to lose weight but all were failing, because they got so boring. Even though I knew they were only going to help me. It finally struck me though. Dance Dance Revolution. I remember playing it a few years prior with a friend. We had a lot of fun doing it and I remember feeling great and sweaty and just being the giant mess of man afterwards. I couldn't get enough of it. So for Christmas I asked for a new PS2 and the rest is history. My old routine consisted of 15 minutes before dinner and 45 after. I eventually said 'screw it' and now I run for a half an hour and then come in for my hour and a half workout on Dance Dance. The techno j-pop songs really get to you after the 409508438 time. So I started putting it on mute and blasting metal while I played. The rest is history and here I am 45 pounds lighter and still hating it. I DID in fact accomplish something that seemed impossible about 5 months ago. My pants and shirts are loose and I even started wearing a belt. I weighed in at 275 when I started this massive lifestyle change. Now I'm at 230 and still going strong. I'll update every two weeks on my progress starting with tonight’s.
5/27
So this whole months I have been on and off with my routine, Working out only like 3 or 4 days out of the week. I decided to start anew this upcoming after tomorrow night. I have horrible OCD when it comes to setting times and dates but Monday will do it. I just bought a new round of cds to work out too. I'm so happy ^_^ I bought clayman by in flames and this new band the absence, Total fucking harmonic orgasm. I want to lose another 20 before NJ and I'm sure I can do it. Graduation is next week and dad is trying to get me a job where he works because no where else will hire me. I will work days and work out in the nights. I have to somehow schedule driving lessons in there so I can get my license. I feel so pumped about everything these days. This month really has been horrid for working out though. It’s partly the heat and lack of motivation. It's all good though. I have made it this far. Only 55 pounds to go. I just hope I can get in that extra 20. I'm tired of complaining to my parents about how much more weight I need to lose. They throw back how proud they are of me and whatnot. I love them, I really do but I wish they would like push me to work out. Then again I am an adult now, immature sure but perhaps they know that I would really appreciate this weight loss more if I did this alone without any pushing. Heh, I am pretty smart when it comes to figuring these things. For motivation I have been printing out pictures of disgustingly obese folk in hopes it will push me. My brother thinks I'm horrible but hey, I'm benefiting from it aren't I? I also printed out lists of effects of this sickness known as obesity. And what a sickness it is. It can cause all sots of trouble for me. I think that is enough pushing. 55 pounds you best watch out YO
