I've Lost My Way in the Dark

M

Moodfood

Guest
Hello I Was Surfing the net looking for way out of the mess I've gotten my self into this time again.
I've been holding a YoYo weight style most of my Adult Life and its never felt normal to me as I was always very Athletic and firmly built.

I have always managed to lose weight but each time it becomes harder and harder.

This time I started at my Highest weight of 16st 9lb and got down to 12st 6lb but becoming a carer for my mother with the Emotional Strain has become tiring and I have had no extra strength to look after myself or think about what is happening to my body.

I know how to eat right and \exercise but its as if I have forgotten it all.
I have all the apparatus to carry out enough physical activity in or out of the House but again its as if I have forgotten how to start.

I can see the doorways but I cant open the doors, im in the dark its lonely and im scared.

While im here im getting Bigger and becoming more in danger of related diseases from my Wieght. I will be no good for my Mum or the rest of my Family if I stay here.

I just need a hand to get those doors open and remember how to live like that again.

I cant weigh myself as im to scared, but I know I need to.

I tell myself every Monday this week will be the week...but it just slides by ...not unnoticed as I beat myself up everyday for not doing anything about it.

Would someone like to join me and help me get started i'm not usually one who needs a push for anything in life but I real am broken down in the Darkest Path I could imagine at my Time in life. First things First I need to get my self weighed up i must be at least 14 1/2 Stone now and I want to be 13 Minimum.

SO 1 and half Stone to lose.

Any takers Please let me know :) and Thank You for reading my Cry for help. :waving:
 
Writing this introduction has given me the courage to step on the scales but at 1.45 in the morning its probably not the best time. Although it will give me a round about area of what to expect. Well I could cry i'm only 13st 5 1/2 lb. This just doesn't add up, I've gone from a 16 to a 20 and my hips are massive my clothes don't fit me at all? which is more worrying as if I buy bigger sizes I will just continue to grow, I'm at this time seeking refuge in Onesie's at home more so than being out and active which is the Polar opposite of what I am made of. The whole way that I am living at this time is Alien to me, but i'm stuck in a rut.
1/2 a Stone isn't going to shift the 4 inches I've put on around each thigh and 2 sizes on the hips and waist. So i'm not sure how much I need to lose to get rid of all this now. Its very strange fat its not solid and its like odd shape lumps everywhere. yuk ill update a Signature now ready for anyone who wants to give me a helping hand :).....(update.... Sorry no Signature allowed yet)
 
Wow, great post and I sense the scarcity but also feel that your ready to make some big things happen!
I commend your honesty and your passion to get better.
losing weight is not easy but with the rite support and guidance you can do anything man.
Feel free to fire out any questions your have ANYTIME as ive helped thousands of people reach their weight loss goals from professional athletes in the NHL, UFC and NCAA to name a few to the general population trying to lose weight and build muscle.

let me know if you need any help, my recommendations are always FREE which is why I joined this forum.

Keep your head up and lets start this journey off with a bang!
 
Hi James sorry ive not been back sooner. much going on with Xmas and new year.
Thanks for your post, the hardest thing im finding is that ive done this before and now can't or i'm fearing it maybe the failure of it.
I am wondering if the failing at it is what is stopping me from starting properly, I am truly feed up to the top with this situation and how old and painful my joints have become, how harder it is to go up the stairs, I refuse to go back to 16st 9lb but im not exactly stopping it happening either, but I do still refuse so that alone doesn't make sense.
Im having great battles in my head with the good and the bad and its exhausting.
I went yesterday with no chocolate, no bread,no crackers I was cold turkey and looking in cupboards for a chocolate fix, but it was very good for me.
Sadly as soon as I step out doors I have had chocolate again.
I enjoy the wanting feeling for a fix, I know when I am wanting then I am achieving, if I am fixing then I am loosing. Only when I have had a decent amount to eat but I am still wanting and searching for nibbles do I know I am in the right direction.

Im fine with it until I venture from my front door.

I know I can do this , I know I have it in me, I know im just playing silly idiots with myself right now and eventually whether I like it or not I am going to have to step up to the mark.

Its a crying shame it has to be this way and its exhausting to, the freedom of being on the right track is very relieving in weight and weight in mind as once you are on that track you have nothing to worry about 24 hours a day, its the getting on it that's the problem.

I will pop in here and rant and chant and keep my mind on the road I want and hopefully not to far in the future things will happen.
 
8 days on and I can feel my self stirring, feed up still and more annoyed each day at the way that i'm living, everything is utterly exhausting.
This wont last it can't " it has to go".
Slight injury at the moment will take a few weeks to repair, which is driving me even more as there's nothing worse than wanting to run free and you can't.
I'm feeling fleeting excitement for my future and just that feeling alone gives me great confidence in what is ahead. As they wouldn't exist if my subconscious knew for sure that I wasn't/or couldn't do it. Drip feeding my mind the vision of achievement rather than ramming it down its throat has worked in the past, plant a Seed and watch it grow. Its not out the earth quiet yet but the anticipation is certainly there :)
 
Now doing a Gym session once a week like of indoor Free Running great fun! but I've put 3lb on and i'm on my 2nd week?
 
Probably lean muscle or just the time that you weighed in. Could be a number of things. Don't put too much focus on what the scale says, focus on the things you're accomplishing instead. Welcome back.
 
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