xhorrorgasmx
New member
I signed up here hoping to get support and help with losing the weight that I put on (plus the few pounds I hadn't lost the first time around).
My weight history is... well, not good. And I don't mean that I've been very overweight or obese, but I've been in and our of eating disorders. Not fun at all.
I'm 5'3", and I have a very small frame (widthwise/around). But the weight I carry on it makes me look a little heavier. When I was 14 I started to really want to lose weight. I was probably only 5 feet tall or 5'1" then, and I was about 140 pounds. I got a personal trainer and me and my mom started to get to work.
After a number of months of working out using the plans he set up for us, I hadn't noticed any change in weight or appearance and was feeling awful, so I decided I didn't want his help anymore and would work out on my own terms. For months I walked/ran/walked/ran on my treadmill for 45 minutes daily. This was good, but I'm obsessive compulsive and when it became such a habit, I had small breakdowns when and if I skipped a day, or didn't go 45 minutes. I got down to about 115 pounds.
Then I went vegan and lost a few more pounds and was down to 109. I was told I was approaching being slightly underweight by my nutritionist and she (and my therapist) advised me to try to cut back on the amount of cardio I was doing. I still had a large belly and thick thighs, which I found astounding because I was sure I'd feel thin by 120 pounds, and didn't.
I cut back on the cardio until I didn't do it at all, but I often skipped meals hoping to lose the last couple pounds (which I was told was unnecessary, which I suppose was due to the suspected eating disorder), but eventually gave in and binging became normal for me.
When I started eating meat again I really started to gain weight. I joined the gym, didn't think it had done anything after a couple months and started working harder. I would force myself to burn 600 cals on an eliptical machine or be on it for an hour and ten minutes. Eventually I got lazy and stopped going to the gym.
I've gained weight pound by pound and I'm now at around 140 pounds, which looks very heavy on my frame. I want to get back down to 109 pounds, where I felt as close as I ever have to being comfortable with my body and my weight.
I have to change or I'll keep gaining, and I don't want this to keep control over my life.
Sorry for typing so much, I just started and couldn't stop!
So, in conclusion, I want to be back at my low weight of 109 pounds, but this time I want to try to do it healthily.
And just so you can see who I am, I've attached a picture to my post.
Thanks for reading (even if you didn't read all of it... it was a lot!), I hope to see your posts!
My weight history is... well, not good. And I don't mean that I've been very overweight or obese, but I've been in and our of eating disorders. Not fun at all.
I'm 5'3", and I have a very small frame (widthwise/around). But the weight I carry on it makes me look a little heavier. When I was 14 I started to really want to lose weight. I was probably only 5 feet tall or 5'1" then, and I was about 140 pounds. I got a personal trainer and me and my mom started to get to work.
After a number of months of working out using the plans he set up for us, I hadn't noticed any change in weight or appearance and was feeling awful, so I decided I didn't want his help anymore and would work out on my own terms. For months I walked/ran/walked/ran on my treadmill for 45 minutes daily. This was good, but I'm obsessive compulsive and when it became such a habit, I had small breakdowns when and if I skipped a day, or didn't go 45 minutes. I got down to about 115 pounds.
Then I went vegan and lost a few more pounds and was down to 109. I was told I was approaching being slightly underweight by my nutritionist and she (and my therapist) advised me to try to cut back on the amount of cardio I was doing. I still had a large belly and thick thighs, which I found astounding because I was sure I'd feel thin by 120 pounds, and didn't.
I cut back on the cardio until I didn't do it at all, but I often skipped meals hoping to lose the last couple pounds (which I was told was unnecessary, which I suppose was due to the suspected eating disorder), but eventually gave in and binging became normal for me.
When I started eating meat again I really started to gain weight. I joined the gym, didn't think it had done anything after a couple months and started working harder. I would force myself to burn 600 cals on an eliptical machine or be on it for an hour and ten minutes. Eventually I got lazy and stopped going to the gym.
I've gained weight pound by pound and I'm now at around 140 pounds, which looks very heavy on my frame. I want to get back down to 109 pounds, where I felt as close as I ever have to being comfortable with my body and my weight.
I have to change or I'll keep gaining, and I don't want this to keep control over my life.
Sorry for typing so much, I just started and couldn't stop!
So, in conclusion, I want to be back at my low weight of 109 pounds, but this time I want to try to do it healthily.
And just so you can see who I am, I've attached a picture to my post.
Thanks for reading (even if you didn't read all of it... it was a lot!), I hope to see your posts!
