I come here for some help. I need it desperate, I hope you can help...
I am a mother of 2 children. After my 2nd child's birth, I decided to diet and loose the weight I have gained since high school (90% of my weight gain was non pregnancy weight)
I was super strict with myself. I wouldn't eat past 6pm, I would eat absolutely NO sweets, I changed my diet every couple months ect. I ate really really good. I exercised at least 15 minutes a day, walking steep incline on the treadmill. I was also breastfeeding. So in about 5 months i got to my goal weight. Lost 75 lbs. I felt amazing! I continued my diet, enjoying everything that I ate, has occasional bites of sweets, like a keylime pie slice, but only first thing in the morning, so I could burn it through the day. A few months after meeting my weight goal, I got to my lowest point, abut 115 lbs, total of 85 lb weightloss. I absolutely LOVED it! All my clothes fit perfect, I felt absolutely amazing.
But... unfortunately, around January, I came across a terrible thing... I became a bulimic. January and February I only binged and purged one of two times. I would be perfect with my diet, but I found myself getting carried away sometimes at dinner time, and would try to prevent gaining weight by purging. In March it became worse. I found that I could enjoy all the foods I wanted as long as I purged, so it became a weekly thing. Terrified to gain the weight back, I would go into an emotional eating binge, and purging not to gain weight. It became a vicious cycle. Something literally would come over me. I would do perfect all day long, but come dinner, which used to be my lightest meal of the day, I would loose control, go buy cookies and eat the entire pack in one sitting and some, to the point my stomach hurt so bad from how much I stuffed it, which only purging made me feel better. This went on until The begging of May. It got SUPER bad, 2-3 times a day. I would eat my normal food, and not be hungry, but then something could come over me and I'd eat everything in sight and purge. I couldnt even keep snacks at my desk anymore. I had to stop, but couldn't!
Luckily, One day in May, I did it so ofter, possibly 7 times in one day that all of a sudden the bad switch clicked to good, and I was able to stop, cold turkey. I absolutely hated purging, and still do. But I have not purged since, and I feel disgusted at myself for doing it like I did. Now that I've overcome that, my problem is binging. That has gotten way better. I no longer binge until I can fit no more in my stomach. But I do get carried away with sweets and carbs.
Unfortunately, my short bulimic experience brought my weight up to about 137lbs (my goal was 128lbs). I feel big. My clothes do not fit the same. I find myself dragging because after that experience my diet went out the window. I stopped eating good in all aspects. sometimes I ate breakfast, ate at all hours of the night, sweets, lets not even discuss sweets.
This is where I need the help. I know everything that i need to do to loose the weight, just like I did when I lost it a year ago. This time I"m not breastfeeding, which burned extra calories. I counted calories, drank green tea, didn't eat past 6-7pm, no sweets. I was extremely strict with myself, and it helped because it made me not miss any of the "bad". I want to do it again. I want to loose the weight. I want to be at least on the 120's, where my new wardrobe I got myself for loosing the weight fits again. I know 135 isn't big, but it's not where I want to be. I want to get control before I end up 196lbs at 5'3. I want to feel good again. I cry because I can not gain control of my eating habits. My boyfriend and I are planning on starting a diet on Nov 1st, just my usual, eat good, healthy, just at the right portions. I've said I was going to start my diet again 3 times now, every month, and I can't seem to stick with it. I think this time I may. I'm going to take it slow. Develop a schedule like I once had. Come January I'm going to start walking again. I think I need to take it slow. I'm not too worried about loosing the weight right now, but getting control of my eating habits. Weightloss will come over time, but I need to control what and how much I put in my mouth.
What helps you? Any tips? I am VERY hard headed, but I want to do this, I want to feel good about ME again. Please help...
I am a mother of 2 children. After my 2nd child's birth, I decided to diet and loose the weight I have gained since high school (90% of my weight gain was non pregnancy weight)
I was super strict with myself. I wouldn't eat past 6pm, I would eat absolutely NO sweets, I changed my diet every couple months ect. I ate really really good. I exercised at least 15 minutes a day, walking steep incline on the treadmill. I was also breastfeeding. So in about 5 months i got to my goal weight. Lost 75 lbs. I felt amazing! I continued my diet, enjoying everything that I ate, has occasional bites of sweets, like a keylime pie slice, but only first thing in the morning, so I could burn it through the day. A few months after meeting my weight goal, I got to my lowest point, abut 115 lbs, total of 85 lb weightloss. I absolutely LOVED it! All my clothes fit perfect, I felt absolutely amazing.
But... unfortunately, around January, I came across a terrible thing... I became a bulimic. January and February I only binged and purged one of two times. I would be perfect with my diet, but I found myself getting carried away sometimes at dinner time, and would try to prevent gaining weight by purging. In March it became worse. I found that I could enjoy all the foods I wanted as long as I purged, so it became a weekly thing. Terrified to gain the weight back, I would go into an emotional eating binge, and purging not to gain weight. It became a vicious cycle. Something literally would come over me. I would do perfect all day long, but come dinner, which used to be my lightest meal of the day, I would loose control, go buy cookies and eat the entire pack in one sitting and some, to the point my stomach hurt so bad from how much I stuffed it, which only purging made me feel better. This went on until The begging of May. It got SUPER bad, 2-3 times a day. I would eat my normal food, and not be hungry, but then something could come over me and I'd eat everything in sight and purge. I couldnt even keep snacks at my desk anymore. I had to stop, but couldn't!
Luckily, One day in May, I did it so ofter, possibly 7 times in one day that all of a sudden the bad switch clicked to good, and I was able to stop, cold turkey. I absolutely hated purging, and still do. But I have not purged since, and I feel disgusted at myself for doing it like I did. Now that I've overcome that, my problem is binging. That has gotten way better. I no longer binge until I can fit no more in my stomach. But I do get carried away with sweets and carbs.
Unfortunately, my short bulimic experience brought my weight up to about 137lbs (my goal was 128lbs). I feel big. My clothes do not fit the same. I find myself dragging because after that experience my diet went out the window. I stopped eating good in all aspects. sometimes I ate breakfast, ate at all hours of the night, sweets, lets not even discuss sweets.
This is where I need the help. I know everything that i need to do to loose the weight, just like I did when I lost it a year ago. This time I"m not breastfeeding, which burned extra calories. I counted calories, drank green tea, didn't eat past 6-7pm, no sweets. I was extremely strict with myself, and it helped because it made me not miss any of the "bad". I want to do it again. I want to loose the weight. I want to be at least on the 120's, where my new wardrobe I got myself for loosing the weight fits again. I know 135 isn't big, but it's not where I want to be. I want to get control before I end up 196lbs at 5'3. I want to feel good again. I cry because I can not gain control of my eating habits. My boyfriend and I are planning on starting a diet on Nov 1st, just my usual, eat good, healthy, just at the right portions. I've said I was going to start my diet again 3 times now, every month, and I can't seem to stick with it. I think this time I may. I'm going to take it slow. Develop a schedule like I once had. Come January I'm going to start walking again. I think I need to take it slow. I'm not too worried about loosing the weight right now, but getting control of my eating habits. Weightloss will come over time, but I need to control what and how much I put in my mouth.
What helps you? Any tips? I am VERY hard headed, but I want to do this, I want to feel good about ME again. Please help...
