I don’t know where to start...

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Sgd97

Sgd97

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Hi! I have absolutely no clue how to help myself but I’m really at an all time low with body image/weight etc.. I have 2 daughters both under 3 and have terrible anxiety about leaving the house alone so exercise is really restricted (trying to work on my emotional health and improve) I’ve got terrible food habits and I am having a real hard time trying to change that and I’m extremely heavy now and my health is definitely declining. It’s no good for me or my kids and me and my boyfriend are getting married next year and I already know if I’m still this large I will not want any photos taken of me which is incredibly upsetting. Can someone please give me a bit of a kickstart in advice about how to gain a healthier lifestyle? Thank you!
 
Hey S, I may know a little about how you feel, I've been there, or somewhere near myself.

My suggestions are:
  • Start logging your food here, start a dairy to do that on the Weight Loss diary page https://weight-loss.fitness.com/forums/weight-loss-diary.9/ and write down everything you eat and how many calories.
    • Even if you have to guess or estimate the calories it will help.
    • The diary is a good place to tell folks more about yourself and your goals.
  • You probably know more or less what a good diet looks like, so you can start there.
  • Then read the diaries of others to see what different folks are doing, don't hesitate to comment or ask questions of folks, that is what this is for.
  • If you need a starting calorie level I suggest 1,500, you can always adjust as you progress.
  • You will find people here very supportive, and friendly. If you work at it you'll get a lot of help.
If you do that or something close you will be off to a great "kickstart", consider yourself kicked.

I look forward to reading about your progress!

Best of luck to you.
 
Hi, S & welcome to the forum. You have just kick-started your journey to becoming healthy by reaching out for help. Do you know what is a healthy diet? What do you eat or drink now that you feel you shouldn't. Forget any quick weight-loss gimmicky diets or products. The minute you decide that you want to be healthier is the minute you start towards that goal. Don't despair. There are lots of things you can do to get you there- eat more fresh vegetables & fruit, lean protein, yoghurt, whole grains, less junk, less soda, less sugary stuff....Just make a start hon. We'll give you support along the way.
 
Hello, Sgd! Welcome! I'm sorry you're in a down place right now - but I'm glad you've signed on here to take some steps to somewhere better. Your two little daughters are probably keeping you pretty tired, which I'm sure doesn't help with energy, self-confidence and feeling you can tackle the weight question - but they might also turn out to be your best motivators for keeping junk food out of the house for the sake of their health, and for exercising through playtime with them.
It honestly, honestly can be done - and as Cate says, you've already begun! Here's to your success! :beerchug: (in water, not beer!)
 
Thank you all for your kind replies! I’m glad there are still kind people who understand, I’m constantly put down by family about my weight which is just adding to the self loathing! :rolleyes: At the moment my diet pretty much consists of quick things, oven meals (family lasagnes, spaghetti, fajitas) and lately my other half has been getting home from work and if he’s had a ‘bad day’ he’ll order McDonald’s or unhealthy takeaway food and of course I’m not objecting it saves me cooking and I love the food but it’s getting out of hand..nobody knows my weight but I’m tipping the scale at just over 20 stone (127kgs) I’m 5ft 6in so I’m miles away from at least a decent bmi. My main problem is how can I explain to my other half that this needs to change, all of our eating habits need to change and his support would mean the world to me. Feel like I need somebody cheering me on not putting me down but my weight is such a sensitive subject nobody will talk to me about it apart from saying I’m fat and need to sort it. Thank you all so much again
 
I think most of us understand totally where you're coming from. I think you do need to explain to your other half how concerned you are about your health as having his support in this will really help you both. Warn him gently first that you need unconditional support & not criticism. Eating well at home will also be showing a good example to your children. Try not to talk about weight in front of your kids & make any focus on being healthy or eating healthy. I made the big mistake of always talking about diets when my kids were young & obsessing over my weight.
I know how hard it is not to feel ashamed of being overweight, but I think it's important to try to focus on the good things about yourself & work towards making positive changes. It's really hard when your kids are young, to focus on your own health or on yourself at all, but for everyone's sake, it's very important. No-one should be telling you that you are fat & need to sort it. That is so counter-productive & mean. You can do this. Start making small changes.
 
@Sgd97 Start from small steps as drinking water, eating meals at the same time every day

After one week you can add something more like add more vegetables to your diet and eat less sweets
After week do something more as change 2 meals from unhealthy to healthy
etc. etc.
SMALL STEPS :)
I can help you if you want to :)
 
It is so easy to feel daunted by the business of losing a lot of weight - I know from experience (and so do lots of others here) that when a person has a lot of weight to lose it is hard to even imagine making any progress, let alone getting to a "normal" weight. But please, please believe me (or read a few of the diaries) it can be done, and it's not nearly as impossible as it seems at the beginning.

It is much harder without support, for sure, and your husband is the number one person who can help you. Will you be able to talk to him as @Cate suggests? If he can commit to not bringing in fast food or sweets, that would be a great help, and it would be even better if he was happy to support you in other ways - by going walking with you and the children, for example, having fun together and getting out of the house (but not to an eating place).

Next, your family (this is your birth family? brothers and sisters etc?) - you say they constantly put you down about your weight - this really, really won't help, so if possible stay a little bit clear of them, or else block them talking about weight. Even just a straightforward "Okay, that's enough about my weight. Let's talk about something else" might help? But getting put-downs will seriously damage things in my (not an expert!) opinion, and if I were you, I'd keep as clear of the nasty talk as possible.

Next, friends - do you have any good friends - maybe other young mothers? - who could help each other with healthy living, including weight, but also other things? Or a club? - many people have found them helpful. There's some relevant discussion here:
https://weight-loss.fitness.com/threads/slimming-world.111257/

Last - us! :D Stick around and read the diaries and keep on writing in your own, and I think you'll find some inspiration and some support, and some really helpful information - I know I have! :D
Best wishes, and I look forward to your next post!
 
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