How to lose 14 pounds in 5 days.

E

evolution

2
I have it down to an artform now.

All you have to do is get a bacterial infection in your stomach. Wait five days before going to the hospital to get diagnosed. Done.

Now, if the dehydration gets to you around day 3, no sweat. You make a quick trip to the ER for an iv mixed with a finagrin and benadryl ****tail.

I think on the next round, I'll just go the tapeworm route.
 
Tapeworms creep me out.

I wish I could have someone do a Magical Schoolbus into my colon and tell me if there's anything in there. I sure as hell wouldn't know.

P.S. nice loss!
 
Yeah, that definitely sucks...I had that happen to me once, about 6 years ago, except I was really sick for much longer than 5 days...no recollection of how much weight I lost.

I guess it's better than the other alternative that achieves the same goal--having a baby. When it's gone, it's gone!!!
 
What did you eat btw?

Also, for others, never, ever drink water in another country, and watch out for ice cubes and keep in mind when you drink "cold" drinks on how they're making it (ice cubes, tap water, etc).
 
Dallen said:
What did you eat btw?

Also, for others, never, ever drink water in another country, and watch out for ice cubes and keep in mind when you drink "cold" drinks on how they're making it (ice cubes, tap water, etc).
Click to expand...

Umm, not always. Depends on the person. I went to Germany and Spain, their water tasted just fine.
 
Wipe a swab round your butt to catch the bacteria, harvest it and sell it in bottles as a '100% natural and organic' detox aid
 
Dallen said:
What did you eat btw?

Also, for others, never, ever drink water in another country, and watch out for ice cubes and keep in mind when you drink "cold" drinks on how they're making it (ice cubes, tap water, etc).
Click to expand...

Also watch out for the fresh vegetables. And eat lots of yogurt before and after the trip. Mmmmm live cultures :D Or just carry acidophilus at all times. (might have spelled it wrong)
 
evolution said:
I have it down to an artform now.

All you have to do is get a bacterial infection in your stomach. Wait five days before going to the hospital to get diagnosed. Done.

Now, if the dehydration gets to you around day 3, no sweat. You make a quick trip to the ER for an iv mixed with a finagrin and benadryl ****tail.

I think on the next round, I'll just go the tapeworm route.
Click to expand...

My sympathies....:( ...... food poisoning is horrible. Had it more than my fair share and know how awful it can be. Hope you are feeling better soon!
 
evolution said:
I have it down to an artform now.

All you have to do is get a bacterial infection in your stomach. Wait five days before going to the hospital to get diagnosed. Done.

Now, if the dehydration gets to you around day 3, no sweat. You make a quick trip to the ER for an iv mixed with a finagrin and benadryl ****tail.

I think on the next round, I'll just go the tapeworm route.
Click to expand...

That sucks...I'm sure you will gain the weight back though.
 
Antibiotics can do that to me. I had to take zithromax for an infection a few years ago (it's only for 6 days) and lost 17 pounds. I felt horrible. It was really hard on my GI tract ... and I was sucking back probiotic yogurt like a fiend.
 
Lab will have results in a day to two. In the meantime, I got put on a high dose antibiotic. Wonderful changes have already happened...like I can actually keep food in my gut for more than 10 seconds. And I have this wonderful thing called an appetite back.

And I luvz to eat.

I spoke with some of the other hooligans I was with that night. No one else got sick. So it might just be a bacterial infection I somehow picked up. I guess this means I should stop biting my nails.

I was getting tired of V dieting it just to get my protein in.
 
evolution said:
Lab will have results in a day to two. In the meantime, I got put on a high dose antibiotic. Wonderful changes have already happened...like I can actually keep food in my gut for more than 10 seconds. And I have this wonderful thing called an appetite back.

And I luvz to eat.

I spoke with some of the other hooligans I was with that night. No one else got sick. So it might just be a bacterial infection I somehow picked up. I guess this means I should stop biting my nails.

I was getting tired of V dieting it just to get my protein in.
Click to expand...

antibiotics? must be bacterial.....

I had never heard of treating food poisoning that way :confused:. They use to just let it run it's course. However if you were lucky like me, who had a Doctor as a father, who got sick of your whining, a good dose of morphine to knock you out for a few days did the trick....lol ;)
 
I tried the same weight loss plan as you mreik. I thought i was gonna die yesterday. It had to be food poisoning...I'm just not sure what did it as my wife ate almost exactly what I ate on Wednesday.

but I woke up thursday with a massive headache, and when i got outta the shower I got sick to my stomach. couldn't eat or even drink water without having to run to the bathroom.

finally I got some alka seltza to stay down, adn then was able to eat a little soemthing for dinner.

today I just feel like I've been beat up and choked.
 
malkore said:
I tried the same weight loss plan as you mreik. I thought i was gonna die yesterday. It had to be food poisoning...I'm just not sure what did it as my wife ate almost exactly what I ate on Wednesday.
Click to expand...
Did she cook the meals?

Next time she cooks for you just swap plates while she's not looking, just to be safe ;)
 
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