How to get over a friendship?

T

Tomahawk

0
I've had this friend for about 3 years. And he was one of my closest friends. But in the past few months things have changed for whatever reason. He constantly lies to me and only tells me what he thinks I want to hear.

I also think he doesn't respect me anymore and now looks down upon me. He calls me various names and constantly tells me i'm too emotional. I stopped telling him various things that were bothering me and stressing me out because he told me he didn't want to deal with all my problems. Even though they're weren't many. Basically all he really calls me about lately is to tell me about all his amazing accomplishments and how cool he is.

Frankly, I think he just seeks attention when he's bored. Recently, I always catch him in various lies. Basically i've tried over and over to repair our friendship, but whenever I mention it he calls me emotional and that I only focus on the negatives and a bunch of other excuses and doesn't really pay attention.

So I told him I didn't see this friendship surviving or going anywhere. To which he replied, what are you a homo? do you wanna f me or something. Its a friendship it isn't suppose to go anywhere. So basically I've cut him off now and told him not to talk to me because he constantly lies and is immature.

I do miss him though, but realize the friendship won't work and its just stressing me out and its best to move on.

However, how do I move on and just get over it? I hate losing friends and I don't think i've ever lost a closer friend in my life. Why are people such jerks sometimes? Please help me out so I can focus on more important things in my life instead of worry about this bs.
 
You know guys have friendship problems just as much as women do, yet talking about it is gay? Yeah bull****, any guy i know that would throw that out is in my opinion insecure about his own sexuality issues. I know some very straight, hardcore guys that have had friendship issues.

Regardless of that friendships hit a rut, sometime you can get through them, sometimes you cant. Maybe you should let time be the teller here, allow him to maybe do some thinking on things, maybe it will help, maybe it wont. However at least you wont be the brunt of his jokes and insecurity anymore.

Friends more than not should encourage you and want you to feel good about yourself, not the other way around.

Also this might be a good time to find some people that share you desire to be fit, and change up your lifestyle. Its hard i know, but the good thing is sports, hiking, rock climbing, paintball, all these kind of things are good way to say "hey, want to go do this with me?" without it seeming odd. Start trying to surround yourself with people who will encourge your desire to change your lifestyle.
 
Last edited:
Dude...I've got some pretty sad friendship problems too. Thanks for remining me, ass!

Nah but really, sounds like that fool already cut you out. It's probably time you do the same. I mean if you've already tried talking to him, and he just threw it in your face. I say keep doing what you're doing in terms of not really bothering with him...it's hard, but maybe he just needs some time and space to realize what a good friend you are. If not, then you'll have to move on. Sorry bud, that's the way the world is...it sucks to be so attached...
 
I guess I'm a bit more callous or cynical in my old age; I want nothing to do with people that are going to bring me down and I have no problem cutting them out of my life.

If he's calling you names, then you just remind him that he's a liar and you want nothing to do with liars.
 
evolution said:
I guess I'm a bit more callous or cynical in my old age; I want nothing to do with people that are going to bring me down and I have no problem cutting them out of my life.

If he's calling you names, then you just remind him that he's a liar and you want nothing to do with liars.
Click to expand...


Ditto !!!!!
 
evolution said:
I guess I'm a bit more callous or cynical in my old age; I want nothing to do with people that are going to bring me down and I have no problem cutting them out of my life.
Click to expand...
You think excactly how I do.

I have turned my back on friends in the past just because of their poor attitude towards life. Your personality reflects on the friends you choose.

I choose to be around positive people that have goals, dreams, and an overall great outlook on life.
 
Thanks guys for all the advice.

To give him his due he is active and lifts and bikes and so forth. He is just a total jerk lately and a liar. I've tried so many times to get him to stop talking trash but he's called me over sensitive to get me to shut up about it. When I told him I started lifting he just assumes I was probably doing wussy stuff unlike him who, at least in his own mind, is a hardcore lifter.

Plus, now it appears he is talking behind my back about how I am oversensitive and more emotional than a girl on her period. I just don't get how he can be such an ahole sometimes.

And LV, have you ever cut off a friendship with someone who you've been friends with for over 3 years?
 
What Evo said.

And, next time you see him (if ever). Punch him right in his mouth (use the index and middle finger first knuckles with your wrist straight along the thumb line) with a jab. Then stand over him and explain that it is sad and unfortunate that he is willing to deface you in person, but if you hear about him talking about you behind your back again, you WILL take it to the next level. Finish by turning your back to him and marching away.
 
Nah, doing that won't solve anything. If anything, sucker punching him will make him bitch about you more.

I know you didn't ask me, but I'm going through a similar thing right now with a good friend of mine for about 4 years. This is year one of me pretty much getting rid of him as someone I keep close. It was pretty hard at first, but I initiated it...he just wasn't very good friend material.

The thing is, you're attached to someone that doesn't seem to care much at all about you. How long you've been pals has little to do with it if he's not going to cooperate. Are you ready to deal with 3 more years of him being a complete faggot?

If he comes after you with the same attitude after you've withdrawn, THAT'S a time for sucker punching.
 
I'm not a violent person i'd never do anything like that.

I just hate it how in the end everyone turns out to be a complete ahole. I just want to know how to get over it quickly and move on.
 
Tomahawk said:
I'm not a violent person i'd never do anything like that.

I just hate it how in the end everyone turns out to be a complete ahole. I just want to know how to get over it quickly and move on.
Click to expand...

I had a what I thought was a best friend who was Female. She always wanted me to be honest. She started lying to me ALL THE TIME, bout dumb **** too. She started acting like a girlfriend which I didn't like, telling me what she expected of me this and that. Pretty much trying to mold me into a person that fit her qualifications. (It was only towards the ending days where she started being like this, but its all it took) I was so much of a nice guy that she clearly took advantage.

Well all you need to do is tell yourself that at least you know now about how that person is a waste of time. Yes friends for 3-4-5 years, but theres always going to be someone to take that place, and be better to you than that. I'm not saying taking HIS place, but taking that place of someone who care's, will listen, will help you, won't turn you down, and be there for you with encouragement, open ears, and care. Thats someone you don't need around, regardless how many years you've known eachother, and how close you were. I was friends with her since 6th grade and I dropped it Senior year highschool. When they've breached your limits just turn away knowing that it was completely there loss.

I can relate to someone else who stated that its too easy to drop people like that. That first time was hard, but you see the big picture where he doesn't deserve you and you tell him that. That was the one thing I was proud to say, and she had no response.. I ended it with "I thought you were different from all the other girls.. but your just the same". I noticed that you say something thats not even mean, but brutally truthful and in a sense where they will think about it, it has greater effects, than punching him, or calling him an asshole and hanging up. After all that your stronger and know the qualities to look for in a potential friend. Hope that helps.
 
Last edited:
How to get over it quickly? Cut ties. Stop talking to him. Stop thinking about him. Look at the big picture, like Brahma said. Lawl, and "Overcome all attachments" like The Brahma said.
 
Sounds to me like the friend you miss is the person he used to be, not the person he has become. I know its hard but, you have to move on - find new friends, people who are genuine and who like you for who you are. Those are the friends worth hanging onto.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top