How has training effected your social life?

P

philsaigon

0
Sometimes I feel like since I began losing weight and training it's impacted some aspects of my social life negatively. I really enjoy cold beer with friends, but nowadays it's soda with a twist most of the time. I've gotten use to this actually, but my friends get annoyed with it and tell me that I've accomplished my goals and to stop being so careful, etc. I've also cut down on eating out in restaurants, which doesn't help. My friends fall into mostly two categories: People who can eat and drink anything without gaining an ounce, people who don't really care about or have given up on their bodies, therefore they don't understand why a healthy lifestyle is so important to me.

How do you all keep the balance?
 
What it boils down to is what is your comfort zone? You still enjoy cold beer with friends some of the time-- or have one beer to their 3 or 4? If you are comfortable with that, but your friends get annoyed, it makes me wonder if your friends might be more annoyed with the fact that you have more control than they do?

It sounds as though your friends were used to you being more of a "follower" and conforming to the group. Now that you've stepped out on your own, by no fault, you are causing them to take a closer look in the mirror.

IMHO all you can do is stick to your guns and your decisions that are right for you. Your friends (true friends) should accept that and respect your decision.

Good luck to you though -- balance is something you will continue to face throughout your life. My balance has more to do with the workout, family, work dynamics. There are always challenges.
 
GREAT real life question!

It has improved my social life. I got to call a lovely lady last night in DC and wish her a happy birthday. I have friends all over the country because we have fitness, and athletic events in common. I have also noticed that the junk I don't want to be around stays away.

How do I keep the balance? I don't stand back an analyze it. Just experience life, the moment, and the adventure.

The sooner comparison is not part of the equation, the sooner you will find a graceful, liberated existance.

me and doc - two old dogs sharing a few gems. I'd like to see Mark, Chillen, Gooch's, and others responses to this.

FF
 
My social life is the people at the gym. I have 3 active kids, a husband and work and the time I most value is the time I see friends at the gym, or meet someone out on the trail for a ride or a run in the park. People I go out with outside of my workout time pretty much know I train for things and like to stay healthy, they repsect that, but I don't push it on them. If we're invited as a family to another's house and they're having pizza and soda, I join in and call it a cheat. no big deal.
 
I'd say there's a balance in all things - even between training/being healthy and having fun. It's not infrequently that I hear that people look up to me not because of the weight loss so much as doing it while enjoying time with friends at happy hour (yes, beer/wine/food lover here too). Taking what's been said in this thread and condensing it, it's important to do what you love, and love what you do, while balancing it out with your responsibilities to those around you.
 
It's all about making compromises and understanding your friends. It's very important you stick with your goals and not let negative infulences affect you. I would say freinds who get angry with you for not drinking have some issues themselves, is it with their own body image or other life problems.

That being said having freinds and maintaining good freindships is an important part of life. So this where some compromise would come in, maybe have 1 or 2 beers a week, sip your beer slowly or something.

Off topic I don't agree with FF's strategy of "I don't stand back an analyze it. Just experience life, the moment, and the adventure." I think anylzing things is a cruicial part of progress and learning. Going forward blindly you are likely to bang your head into a wall a lot of times.
 
A problem I'm finding is the diet as well. Obviously I don't think too much about it, but it can annoy me.
 
How do you all keep the balance?
Click to expand...

If you have goals do what it takes to reach them. If your friends don't understand, who cares, if they are real friends they will understand.

That being said I agree with Friendly_Giant. A couple of beers and some not so hot food is not going to kill your workouts. If get consumed you only have one type of friend to choose frome. People exactly like you.

I have 2 friends that are not from the gym and they are more than great with everything I do. Very supportive.

Anyone around me who is not supportive has 2 choices.

1. Step Back.
2. Get smacked in the face.

These rules stand for friends, family, and whoever else wants to bring the negative.

Surround yourself with the best people and it will not matter if they have the same goals as you do.
 
This is a cool thread, something interesting to think about.

I'm only 22, and I have already narrowed down my scope of friends to just a few, who I see regularly and enjoy.

Sure, a couple may have poked fun at first, but nothing to get at me. Once they realized it was something I was serious about, they started to think it was neat. I spend the majority of my time either a) at work (unfortunately :D), b) by myself, or c) with just me and my woman. What I am getting at is those are the times when I can easily control my eating habits, and my workouts. The time I do spend with friends during the week or more commonly on the weekends, I don't get caught up in holding myself back. I go to have fun with them, and that's what I do. If that means having some drinks, I'm OK with that. If you can't have a little fun in life, what is the point in all this healthiness anyways?
 
I think getting fit can also mean a whole life makeover for some ppl...I know it has for me. Getting fit was just part of the formula, my spiritual, financial, social, mental, and physical life was all out of whack months ago now Im starting to feel somewhat grounded in all aspects, I wont start chanting but I think there are others that just want to change many things in their lives and realize that in order to change those things, that other things might have to be changed that they didnt think about. Im not saying that your freinds are not "true freinds" but like the others have said here, you are merely trying to better your life dont let them stand in the way of that if it comes down to their freindship or your health :)
 
I would say get some new friends who share similar interests (working out that is).

I don't find that this has changed my lifestyle negatively at all.
 
I think the biggest difference is I'm not doing hard drugs and don't have those friends anymore. I still drink plenty and drink plenty. I think fun is what keeps us sane.

I've surrounded myself with friends who support what I do or share in it. That makes it so much easier.

Now...my colleagues are a bit different. Most of my fellow teachers are over-weight and do not understand my athletic and strength endevors.
 
flyinfree said:
I'd also bet you never wqaxed another males back prior to this lifestyle either!! O!
hahahahaa
Click to expand...

ha1...and I still haven't. It was more of a running joke. Mreik (albeit lacking from the site due to life's business) was my heterosexual net life partner. It's hard to describe...you'd have to have been here a bit back to understand.
 
It does not really effect mine that much to be honest. Although out of all of my friends there are only me and one buddy who actually care about our fitness. Others just say why do we bother caring and to just "live life up" while we are young....

Most of my friends are around my age (I am 20) they range from 19-24 the majority of them and as a result none of them are terribly over weight, but you really don't know whats hiding underneath a loose fitting T-shirt, they could be out of shape under there but you just can't tell. Me and my mate just ignore them and stick to our routines, it's not like it bothers them and I regularly go out and stick to water and the odd diet coke without it annoying friends.
Some of them are even impressed slightly by the "huge amount of control" as they call it.
 
This is something that effects me too, getting into strength training seems to have polarized my friends slightly. There are some who treat me like I'm somehow special, as the one who holds the key to gaining muscle (they are often those who've tried to bulk up in the past but never achieved anything), and those that think I have some kind of mental illness and what I'm doing is unhealthy (this includes my family).

Either way it has resulted in me being treated differently which takes some time to get used to. The thing is that I don't talk about lifting or nutrition outside of the gym and this forum but people assume now that it must be the only thing I care about and it's one of the only topics of conversation that people will bring up with me at social events, a bit like the experience you go through after having a baby, people start to think that it's the only thing in your life and it defines you.

I have no advice on how to deal with it though, I'm still working that out myself.
 
I get harmless banter off my mates for not eating chips with my steak haha. One of them also tries to make out all I do is go to the gym, even though its more like 6 hours a week, I know he is only joking though.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top