How do I help my friend?

H

Holly1975

New member
I began my new way of eating about 4 weeks ago so I'm no expert by any means but I can recognize my friends problem. She is following the "diet plan" of a local weight loss clinic. She is currently 5' even and 135 lbs. and they have her eating 1000 calories per day and limited to 16 grams of fat. This clinic has in no way educated her on healthy fats or eating a balanced diet. 1000 calories is way too low for anybody. She was excited to tell me today that she's only had 700 calories the past few days but is upset that she's been stuck at her present weight for a month now. I told her that intake is way too low but she's going to listen to these "doctors" and not me (who has 50 lbs to lose). She is severely undernourishing herself and could do some damage. Any advice on how to help her realize this is not good?
 
have her create an account here... tell her it's great for support and very educational...
 
I've told her about this place and how she can use calculators to help determine her calories needed for optimal weightloss. She is convinced that if she follows the clinic's diet, that's the right thing to do. Meanwhile, she is virtually starving herself. 700 calories for 3 days straight? That's crazy!
 
my breakfast was almost 700 calories... yikes... i cant imagine that.

Try to generalize it to her logically... first typically the Physicians that work in clinics are just pretty much paying their dues to get experience (ie. unexperienced) and most definately not specialists in nutrition.

It will also be very difficult to remain happy on a diet that restrictive so most likely she will become frustrated and give up. explain the benefits of a personalized plan that comes with a little personal research.
 
RJ hit the nail on the head here: you can will yourself to only eat 700 calories for a few days, a week, maybe even a couple of weeks, but starvation mode really is like starving. Eventually it will hurt and her body will be constantly telling her that she is HUNGRY. She'll start to feel sluggish and miserable, and I bet she'll give up the drastic diet.

Just try not to tell her "I told you so." She'll also want to be encouraged because she'll probably be despairing of ever losing the weight at that point.
 
Yeah what's also bad about that kind of diet is when you put yourself into starvation mode you not only risk your health but if she EVER starts eating normally again all her weight will just come back. Is she ready for eating 700 calories a day, every day for the rest of her life?? Sure it may work in the short term but if she is serious about losing weight that will last she needs to change her eating!!!
 
Thanks everyone. I just don't know if I'm going to be able to get through to her anytime soon. Meanwhile, she is literally starving herself with her calorie limit. Anytime I tell her about RMR and BMR, she just says "well they told me 1000 calories", etc. etc. and of course, how could they be wrong. Her sister who is 5'8" is also attending this clinic and is also limited to 1000 calories per day. I certainly don't think anyone can stick with this for a lifetime, and you're right, failure is just around the corner. The main thing I'm worried about is her health. She's always chronically constipated, irritable, and moody (but I guess we all would be at those calories).
 
I think it's gotten worse. Today, she told me now she is only reaching about 560 calories per day. I told her that is just not enough and not healthy. Her response was that she can't force feed herself because that amount makes her full. I think I may be dealing with a friend with an eating disorder. This is very worrysome. Thank goodness for the great information that can be found here and other excellent weigh loss/ health sites.
 
You can help...

You are being faced with a tough situation. She is getting conflicitng reports; On one side she is seeing someone she feels is a professional, and that gives their words much more weight. However, honestly, if they are reccomending 1000 calories a day, they are misleading her for some reason. Obviously not professionals at all. We here are just "internet people" and why should she listen to us right?

Well, fear not, there is something you can do. It is not ideal, but in the long run it may be the best way. First let her know you support her regardless what she decides to do. Then I would inform her that I(you) too are trying to lose weight also, if she doesnt already know. From there the absolute best thing in the universe for you and her is to lead by example. Maybe if her weight stays the same for a month, but by following a more realistic plan you are actually losing weight, she may put more faith in you and what you are doing. It is not ideal and doesnt immediately change her situation, but it may well be the best thing you can do for her. If you lose 5-10 pounds in a month and only eating 560 cal a day she doesn't, that may just give your words enough weight to be helpful.

Good luck in any case. Your friend is lucky to have someone looking out for her.

sirant
 
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