I was on a routine expedition to free lab monkies from terrible experiments by unethical scientists, and when I set Bubo the Monkey free, he spoke to me (for his brain had been greatly enlarged thanks to fish oils, a strong educational base, and some good old fashioned isotope radiation). He said to me,
"They're coming for you, you better run."
My first thought was "Holy ****, a talking monkey!" followed soon by "Holy ****, guards!" I grabbed a nearby clipboard and covered my face, as I jumped through the 5th story window out into the parking lot below. Bullets wizzed by my face as I raced towards the gate.
The gate guard jammed the "Emergency Lockdown" button. I leapt through the gate just in time to clear the iron bars, and rolled to safety. Sure the animals were safe, I pressed the detonator and blew the entire facility to smithereens, not only introducing a race of super-intelligent uberChimps into the ecosystem, but destroying MegaSuckyCorp in the process.
I wiped my brow and noticed that I had broken a sweat.
"That's never happened before..."
So I found WorldFitness to get back in shape for next time.