How did This happen

Mim

Mim

New member
Hi there. I'm new to this and just looking to share in some mutual support and suggestions, encouragement etc. I don't want to pay astronomical amounts of money to lose weight so thought this might be a good start. I keep thinking 'I've got this' but who am I kidding lol. All of got is whole lot of extra weight and a tendency to continue with my terrible eating habits!!! I have been a good weight for 20 years. I've been healthy, fit (jogging a few times a week) and maintained a weight of about 63-65kg (I'm 170cm) about 4 yrs ago I found that my husband was cheating on me with a girl from work who was 10yrs my junior but seriously she was no oil painting...that sounds mean but the reason I mention it is because it sent me into a bit of a spiral with me thinking 'well if it's not looks it must be something 'about' me that he doesn't love..and I think I was kind of going on a journey of personal discovery about the core of who I am rather than my weight and looks etc and just started neglecting my physical self and nourishing my spirit. Unfortunately that nourishment became food :( I ended up meeting someone 2 years later who was going through divorce and together we have really bad eating habits and I now do absolutely no exercise. We have been together for two years now and I weighed myself about 6 was ago and was up at a staggering 83kg. I thought the scales were broken...seriously!! I went and bought a new set and then the reality set in of how much I had let myself go. Since then I have lost a few kilos and am down to 80kg but still 17kg heavier than I have been for 20yrs. I guess I'm just looking for someone to share their story with me and maybe some approaches that they have used might help me and in turn I'm wanting to have some successes and be able to support others Any advice would be greatly appreciated
 
Sorry to hear about your husband. You've come to the right place. Community is so damn important. While we don't all share the exact histories.... we are all share the common mission of getting better.

To me, it sounds like you're already on the path. You're turned around the direction of your weight. Now the "secret" is in not stopping.

So my first question to you is how sustainable do you feel the approach is that you're currently taking?
 
Hi Steve, thank you for your message and support :) I don't actually think it's sustainable at all unfortunately. It's actually just some medication that I am on. As well as the weight gain, I also have been diagnosed with a neurological condition. It's not anything too major but it makes me really tired so the medication although only very small dosage has helped me to lose some weight as it initially creates a lack of appetite. The weight loss has stabilised now and I definitely have my appetite back so now the challenge is to do this with diet and exercise and with nothing but me to make it happen...oh and a gym membership for a gym that I have not been to in about 6 months and was only going maybe once a week or once a fortnight anyway lol....I have actually had a bit of a turnaround with my work being really good lately and achieving really good results which has made me much happier. I was hating my work for the last 6 months and ready to walk out on a few occasions but changed my headspace and feel really positive about it now....perhaps I am on a new path :) thank you!
 
Understood. The medication jumpstarted the process. Not the ideal way to get things rolling. But still... you're rolling.

I've coached a lot of people and while the inclination is always to throw a suggested diet and full blown cardio and lifting routine at someone... that approach almost ALWAYS backfires. Most people simply aren't prepared to overturn their entire existence in one fell swoop. Yet, that's exactly what most people do when they attempt to make a change to their fitness.

They set some ridiculous standard that's nowhere near where they currently are. And they might actually adhere to it for a few weeks. But then life happens. They stop. And what's worst is they wind up feeling really guilty about. Almost as if there were some sort of moral failing. They might even binge since, ya know, "Welp, I screwed that up. I can't even do that right. Might as well douse my shame with tasty food."

That's a long way of saying you want to set the bar a little higher than where you're currently at in terms of new habits. You're with a new man and have a new life. And right now, that relationship and that life aren't really including fitness. In order to build a new normal, it starts with gradual change.

So what do you think you could most easily change right now that would make a difference?
 
That was really insightful and so true. It's as though I try to reach for immediate perfection, then when I don't get results, I feel like a failure and give up. I think baby steps is definitely the way to go. Probably the easiest and most realistic change right now could be to actually start going for walks. I live near the waterfront and should definitely be taking advantage of it!!! I actually really appreciate your help here. Next step...morning walks 3 days per week....that's super achievable :) Thanks so much Steve!
 
Awesome! Definitely don't get sucked into the trap of putting best ahead of better. Perfection is an illusion that only stands to force your mind to think in ways that judge you every which way but positively. I love your idea of walking 3x/wk. I like clients to be at least 90% confident that they can achieve a target habit. Then set it, test it, and reflect on it. If after a couple of weeks you find that you're not meeting the habit... it's not failure. It's a lesson in what isn't working. Either scale the habit back to make it easier or switch the habit to something else.

I have clients build out a list of habits/skills in this fashion over time and it really does lead to permanent change.

Keep us posted!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mim
Thank you so much I will keep you posted!!!!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top