Hot Women

missblonde4878

missblonde4878

New member
Besides the obvious reason, why do men like to look at hot women? I don't mean just in general, I mean, if they are in a relationship - why do they still need to look at other hot women. Don't get me wrong, I understand wanting to look at an attractive person - but is it necessary to get the magazines, and the screen savers?

Maybe I'm being too general. What brought this question to mind is...

Last night, my cell phone died. I needed to make a call, so I told my boyfriend I would just use his. When I opened his phone, he had a picture of a hot girl strattling a motorcycle with practically nothing on.

My stomach dropped. I felt like crap. I don't know if its because I have been trying so hard to lose weight and actually look like that, or because I felt that I wasn't competent enough to get a spot as the background on my boyfriend's cell phone. Or maybe the thought ran through my head that I can't compete with that.

I didn't want to make a big issue of it because I'm not the kind of person that thinks her boyfriend should only look at her. But, for some reason last night, it really made me feel bad. I got a shower, tried to clear my head, tried telling myself that its just what guys do. But why do they do that?

I talked to my boyfriend about it after sulking and him pulling it out of me, and he said he just "liked the picture". He found it on one of his motorcycle forums, and downloaded it to his phone. That didn't make me feel much better, but I didn't want to make an issue out of it. I could tell that he felt bad, and he started explaining himself - and I reassured him that that wasn't the issue. I explained to him that I don't even know why it bothered me so much, but it just made me feel bad.

So, what is the reason?

I'll be the first one to admit, I'm a HUGE Justin Timberlake fan..think he's one of the hottest men on earth. Yeah, I know, I know...I'm almost 30 and still have a crush on a celebrity - but he's hot. That doesn't mean that I have him as my screensaver and my background on my phone - I have a picture of me and my boyfriend.

I don't know, I just don't get it. I don't get why guys need to constantly look at gorgeous women...and I don't get why I got so upset about it..

Any input you guys have may help...

Have a great day!
 
It'd be a total generalization to say that all men look because they don't -but men tend to be visual creatures just like women are more cerebral...

it's a picture... just because he's got a picture of a hot looking female doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive or doesn't get turned on by you -it's just a picture.

some men and women too - have a problem when the pictures are the only way they can get some form of satisfication and arousal... and feel the need to hide it.

Why does it bother you? that's a good question for you to ask yourself? do you think your boyfriend expects you to look like them? Most of those pictures are so airbrushed that no woman could ever look like that in real life.. so doon't try to compare yourself to them...
 
maleficent said:
it's a picture... just because he's got a picture of a hot looking female doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive or doesn't get turned on by you -it's just a picture.
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That's a good point - and that's what I kept trying to tell myself..because normally I don't care. I guess its just my own insecurities getting the best of me - because he has told me time and time again that he loves me just the way I am and doesn't expect me to look like a supermodel.

I guess it has just been getting the best of me because in we've been together for a little over two years. In the beginning of our relationship, he never mentioned other women being hot - he would spend a lot of time telling me he was lucky to have me. So, I guess the fact that within the last year he has started getting the magazines - Maxim, Playboy, etc. and become more open on pointing out hot women - has made me feel like I've done something to cause the sudden interest in other women.

Again, just my insecurities about gaining weight I guess. And he could tell me until he's blue in the face how beautiful he thinks I am, but I'm so hard on myself that it wouldn't matter.

That's always been my downfall - I can come across as being confident, but on the inside, I am constantly critiquing myself.
 
Missblonde, I've felt the same way! My husband isn't too bad about gawking at other women most of the time. But we've discussed it before when we've been getting ready to go out.

There's times I've wanted to go out and wear something a little tighter or low-cut, and he's said he doesn't like that. But at the same time, the women he DOES look at in pictures, on TV and in person, are wearing stuff like that. It's made me wonder on occasion why he can't be ok with me dressing in a way he obviously finds attractive. Used to give me serious self-esteem issues.
 
MindiK said:
There's times I've wanted to go out and wear something a little tighter or low-cut, and he's said he doesn't like that. But at the same time, the women he DOES look at in pictures, on TV and in person, are wearing stuff like that. It's made me wonder on occasion why he can't be ok with me dressing in a way he obviously finds attractive. Used to give me serious self-esteem issues.
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OMG, my boyfriend does the same exact thing!! I've joked around before that I'm going to dress like that when I get to my goal weight..and he is like ABSOLUTELY NOT! So, its ok that he likes to look at women dressed that way, but doesn't want me dressing that way - too weird.
 
My husband's explanation is that HE doesn't want anyone looking at ME the way he looks at those women.

But I've decided I'm wearing what I want, anyway, when I reach my goal. He can kiss it...He knows he'll like it anyway.... :smilielol5:
 
Or maybe the thought ran through my head that I can't compete with that.
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There's no competition. The motocycle chick is fantasy. You're reality. You can't compete against something that doesn't even exist - you win every time. I don't know what your boy looks like, but do you honestly think he could ever get some girl like that? Not likely. Because normal people aren't perfect. :D

Again, just my insecurities about gaining weight I guess. And he could tell me until he's blue in the face how beautiful he thinks I am, but I'm so hard on myself that it wouldn't matter.
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I'm not a guy, but I guess being an artist for years and years, I too am a very "visual" person (and yeah, I do have a picture of a hot guy on my wallpaper...) and I've had boyfriends who would get very jealous when I'd do a double-take on the street. It wasn't anything against them, just a visceral reaction.

If I were you, I would try very hard not to sulk and take it personally. Insecurity is a huge turn-off to most people (guys especially, most of whom *hate* having to constantly flatter and reassure girls about their looks). No washboard abs or D rack are sexier than your average girl-next-door who has complete confidence in herself. Not the fake kind that you use as a mask to hide behind - true confidence, which can only come from accepting and loving yourself and your unique gifts.

If you exude real self-confidence, you are automatically more charismatic and sexy than any airbrushed pinup, no matter what you look like. :coolgleamA:
 
burneeed said:
your bf sucks!
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No, he doesn't...its me, not him. And the thing he tells me that he found most attractive about me when we first met was my self confidence (so maverick - you got a good point!). He's just being a normal guy...and I overracted - I see it now. I never used to care, and that's why I was so shocked that I got upset last night - because I always was self confident.

In past relationships, I always had to compete with other women, and he was the first man I've ever been with that didn't make me feel that way - until last night. But it wasn't because of something he did - it was because of my insecurities - which have gotten stronger since I've gained weight. But I'm on the right track - and I'm losing weight for me - which is a change. Its usually for someone else. Ever since I've started dieting and exercising, my boyfriend tells me I don't need to diet, or he doesn't like the idea - but I know he'll be singing a different tune once he sees the end result.

He truly is a good guy - so please, I don't want any of you to get the wrong idea...its not like he CONSTANTLY goes on and on about other women. Its just the occasional incident like last night that throws me off guard sometimes.

Thanks for all the input back so far...its really made me feel better! :)
 
burneeed said:
haha just joking... where about pittsburgh do you live and do you go to any gyms around here?
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I know, but after read what I had typed, I could see how people would think he was..so just wanted to clear the air.

I'm about 20 minutes outside of the city. It all depends on what area you live in. There's a Bally's in Penn Hills, there's one called Complete Fitness out near Century III Mall, there's one in the North Hills called Club Julian - what part of Pittsburgh are you from?
 
I live in robinson, but if your out near c3 ... i went to Life force fittness for a very long time and for the price of I think it was lik 30 dollars per month and open till 11PM was a really good deal...
 
You should put a picture of Justin on your screensaver..... Or any shirtless hottie.
You're not wrong for feeling bad when you saw that picture. It's not just you... there is no reason for our husbands and boyfriends to have dirty magazines lying around unless they would be 100 percent happy with us gazing at magazines filled with hot guys.
As for not wanting you to wear revealing clothes..... Don't ever let anyone tell you what you can or can't wear. Any and all control a man trys to exert over you should be nipped in the bud fast! lol

Signed... there are no dirty mags around here and I wear really short skirts! lol
 
Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars.

Men just like to look at hot women, that is all. Don't every take it personally, even if it makes you feel a bit down when you're having an insecure day.
 
As someone said earlier... it's all about confidence. Who cares if your boyfriend has a picture of a hot chick as his background? (I know you realize this now, but it's nice to get additional feedback.. haha) I know you didn't post anything about "dirty magazines," but hey, if my boyfriend/ husband wants to look at those, I don't get bent out of shape either. If anything, I think "dirty magazines" are hilarious and their write ups are rather entertaining. hahaa! I'm confident in knowing, I can outshine any of those girls. hahaaa! Good luck with it.

-Sheryl
 
Fat_Girl_Slim said:
Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars.

Men just like to look at hot women, that is all. Don't every take it personally, even if it makes you feel a bit down when you're having an insecure day.
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Yes this is sooo true!!
If your bf wanted one of those girls he would have been gone a long time ago.
He loves you, but men often have fantasies and this pic is just that, a fantasy.
Not a woman he would want as a wife, or long term girlfriend, just a fantasy.
 
I'm a guy. Dont worry about it. Its perfectly normal. Its just something guys do. Its almost like a fantasy that doesnt come true. Men have a strong sexual desire, therefore their minds are always gonna be attracted to the female phsyique.

just look at the rates at witch a teenage boy chokes his chicken, in comparison to girls doing the same activity. For boys its probably 10x higher. We carry strong sexual desires thats all. It doesnt mean we dont want our girlfriends
 
ohhhh it's just something guys do huh?? lol

Well as long as those very same guys feel just as secure and happy about us women looking at hot hot hotties.. well I guess that's fine then.

I know that early on in my marriage when I found hubby's magazines.. I said " oh good.. I'll go buy some mags with some hot men for me to look at and pleasure myself to... well guess what? I guess he didn't want to play it that way because he doesn't bring those home anymore.. .... What's good for the Goose is good for the Gander.. and there is also the old Do unto others as you would have done unto you.....

Men don't get a free ride just because the are "Wired" to want to look at boobs.... Every person no matter what gender should be treated with respect and if respect means to you that you indulge your love of looking at hot members of the opposite sex while you're in a committed relationship.. just know that two can play that game.
 
Women are capable of being just as sexual as men, it's just that throughout history men have been trying to suppress that sexuality in us as a gender. So they get off easy because they are men, and it's not okay for us because we're women. Of course we've made advancements in some countries as far as womens' sexuality, but it's a very very interesting topic. I might be going to take a class on human sexuality in Amsterdam (I already took a similar class at my university now) and I'm taking a psychology of women course next semester which inevitably will touch on this topic. I think as long as both parties aren't offended by dirty magazines and pictures of hotties with the ideal physique, it's alright. But sometimes it can be unhealthy for the relationship. Relationships are about compromise in the end. I'm glad you saw that it's not as big of a deal as you thought it was at first, though :) a lot of people can't take that step.
 
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