So, This is a hard post for me to write. I started my weight loss journey almost 3 weeks ago now. My husband who is currently a police and fire dispatcher, has decided to become an officer. He has been working out and trying to get ready for his entrance to the police academy for a few months now. I should mention my husband is OCD. The real kind not just little funny OCD stuff. He didn't even realize that is what he was dealing with till this year. He has been OCD since he was 16 years old and is now 34. He never knew it was more than how he was till this year and he found some articles that made alot of sense. We have been going to doctors and counselers since February. Our entire marriage his obbsession has been me, I don't say this to sound conceited. Trust me having someone that worried and concerned wasn't a walk in the park. He didn't allow me to drive out of the city limits of where we lived, I have had no friends besides family for the `2 years we have been married. If I have a headache he was on Web MD trying to make sure it couldn't be cancer. I just thought he was really controlling, but also very loving. I wanted to leave him about 6 years into our marriage. I never actually took action, big things changed our lives and I moved pass the resentment and accepted that this was the man I married. When it clicked that is was OCD it was a wonderful thing, he wasn't just contoling, there was a reason for it all. Then the man I have known for the last 11 years changed, he is being treated with medicine, several in fact. I suppose it let him let go of alot of his OCD. The way he has always been with me slowly changed. We have had 3 kids, I was 145 lbs when we married, after having the kids now I am the biggest of my life at 220. Before that didn't matter to him. He loved me and said he loved my body, of course I didn't love my body but he said he did. We spent all our time together, just being around me made him happy. He called me all day or texted just to see what I was doing or make sure I was ok. I had learned to be happy just having someone who loves me so much and cares that much. It's all gone now, I guess the medicine cured him of me? Of course we are still together, I know he still loves me but the ways in the past he showed it just stopped. As he worked out he began to hint that he wasn't happy with my body anymore. While drinking one night he admits my body is no longer attractive to him. His OCD isn't gone, he's just shifted his fixation to working out. The OCD was way deeper than I can describe in this one post. Rituals and unable to touch something with his left hand. The left hand is bad and if he were to open a door with that hand then I walked through it something bad would happen to me. Anyways, I have to want him to get better, and I do. I just don't know how to feel love from him now. He seem aggrivated with me alot now, sorry I know I am going to long.
Back to my weight loss, I finally chose to join him with working out. I needed a way to connect to him again. I want to lose weight for him, so he will be happy with me again. I know how weak that makes me sound. Sorry. I work out with him but he only does it every other day. I do circut training every other day with 30 minutes on the treadmill and I have worked up to an hour on the treadmill the other days. I have lost 7lbs in 2 and a half weeks. Doesn't seem enough. Isn't that just water weight? We are eating healthy, I am drinking nothing but water and a ton of it. What am I doing wrong. I need this now, It's for him but it's for me too. I decided to join this forum because I feel really alone these days. I am working out beside him and all but I don't feel like he's really there anymore. Sorry for making this too long. Everything is really emotional these days for me, I haven't shared this much on all the OCD and my end of it. I have to be an encouraging wife and be happy he is getting better. I can't express how I feel to him, it could hurt his progress.
Back to my weight loss, I finally chose to join him with working out. I needed a way to connect to him again. I want to lose weight for him, so he will be happy with me again. I know how weak that makes me sound. Sorry. I work out with him but he only does it every other day. I do circut training every other day with 30 minutes on the treadmill and I have worked up to an hour on the treadmill the other days. I have lost 7lbs in 2 and a half weeks. Doesn't seem enough. Isn't that just water weight? We are eating healthy, I am drinking nothing but water and a ton of it. What am I doing wrong. I need this now, It's for him but it's for me too. I decided to join this forum because I feel really alone these days. I am working out beside him and all but I don't feel like he's really there anymore. Sorry for making this too long. Everything is really emotional these days for me, I haven't shared this much on all the OCD and my end of it. I have to be an encouraging wife and be happy he is getting better. I can't express how I feel to him, it could hurt his progress.
