DrinkiePie
New member
Hey guys,
This may end up being a bit long winded, so you can totally be forgiven for not reading the whole thing. Either way since this has sort of been a sensitive topic for me it feels good to get it all out there.
My name is Doug and I've been seriously overweight for about 10 years now. For the first half of my life, my weight yo-yo'd back and forth until I finally ended up where I am now. I don't remember this and there aren't many pictures but apparently I was pretty heavy at about age 4 (for a four year old anyway), then I became very skinny until about age 8 when it all came right back on. I spent the next few years that way until around 12, when suddenly I remember my friends parents and others commenting that I had lost a lot of weight. I didn't believe them, I figured they were all just trying to make me feel better about myself.
I spent the next 4-5 years in actually pretty decent shape, but at the time I somehow had no idea. I remember in 8th grade I was in a local play and my character's name was "Fat Sam". Of course to me, this made perfect sense. When a couple of my friends asked me "So how are you going to play a guy named Fat Sam? Are they going to have you wear a pillow under your shirt?" I was actually pretty irritated, thinking I was being patronized. It wasn't until around age 18-19 that I realized how much better off I had been before, because I had again, over the course of 6 months to a year, put on quite a bit of weight.
Since around 2005 I've made quite a few efforts to lose the weight, but I usually only last anywhere between 3-5 months before everything ends up going back to the way it was-and then getting worse. In the early spring of 2009, I started a plan that yielded the most success for me out of anything I've tried before, or since, and my failure at the end of that has made any subsequent attempts so much harder because I'm afraid that I won't be able to keep it up. In a period of about 5 months I lost a significant amount of weight (I don't remember exactly how much but it was to the point that people started to really notice unprompted. I was getting a LOT of comments.) And as it usually goes, I ended up dropping the ball and gaining all the weight back. This time I actually believed it was going to happen for me though, so the anger I felt towards myself was pretty severe. Since then, even when I'm doing really well, there is a constant voice in the back of my mind saying "this will not last." or "what makes this time different?". It can be pretty discouraging, because I have gotten close to success before, but I've never actually made it.
At this point in my life, I'm about 90 pounds overweight at nearly 260 pounds-the worst shape of my life. I'm only 5"8 so I should be somewhere around the 170-180 range. I guess I am hoping there are some of you a lot farther along than me who know what I'm going through, and have some advice for how to control my attitude.
The good news is, I've been working with a trainer as of the last six weeks, and have also been doing some workouts on my own and with my wife for the last week or so. I'm starting to drop some weight, and I REALLY want this time to be the last. I just turned 27, and would really like to get into the best shape I can before my youth is gone and I missed it completely.
Thanks for reading guys. It feels SO good to actually get this stuff out.
This may end up being a bit long winded, so you can totally be forgiven for not reading the whole thing. Either way since this has sort of been a sensitive topic for me it feels good to get it all out there.
My name is Doug and I've been seriously overweight for about 10 years now. For the first half of my life, my weight yo-yo'd back and forth until I finally ended up where I am now. I don't remember this and there aren't many pictures but apparently I was pretty heavy at about age 4 (for a four year old anyway), then I became very skinny until about age 8 when it all came right back on. I spent the next few years that way until around 12, when suddenly I remember my friends parents and others commenting that I had lost a lot of weight. I didn't believe them, I figured they were all just trying to make me feel better about myself.
I spent the next 4-5 years in actually pretty decent shape, but at the time I somehow had no idea. I remember in 8th grade I was in a local play and my character's name was "Fat Sam". Of course to me, this made perfect sense. When a couple of my friends asked me "So how are you going to play a guy named Fat Sam? Are they going to have you wear a pillow under your shirt?" I was actually pretty irritated, thinking I was being patronized. It wasn't until around age 18-19 that I realized how much better off I had been before, because I had again, over the course of 6 months to a year, put on quite a bit of weight.
Since around 2005 I've made quite a few efforts to lose the weight, but I usually only last anywhere between 3-5 months before everything ends up going back to the way it was-and then getting worse. In the early spring of 2009, I started a plan that yielded the most success for me out of anything I've tried before, or since, and my failure at the end of that has made any subsequent attempts so much harder because I'm afraid that I won't be able to keep it up. In a period of about 5 months I lost a significant amount of weight (I don't remember exactly how much but it was to the point that people started to really notice unprompted. I was getting a LOT of comments.) And as it usually goes, I ended up dropping the ball and gaining all the weight back. This time I actually believed it was going to happen for me though, so the anger I felt towards myself was pretty severe. Since then, even when I'm doing really well, there is a constant voice in the back of my mind saying "this will not last." or "what makes this time different?". It can be pretty discouraging, because I have gotten close to success before, but I've never actually made it.
At this point in my life, I'm about 90 pounds overweight at nearly 260 pounds-the worst shape of my life. I'm only 5"8 so I should be somewhere around the 170-180 range. I guess I am hoping there are some of you a lot farther along than me who know what I'm going through, and have some advice for how to control my attitude.
The good news is, I've been working with a trainer as of the last six weeks, and have also been doing some workouts on my own and with my wife for the last week or so. I'm starting to drop some weight, and I REALLY want this time to be the last. I just turned 27, and would really like to get into the best shape I can before my youth is gone and I missed it completely.
Thanks for reading guys. It feels SO good to actually get this stuff out.
