Hello everyone!

[Aristol Feliak]

Hi, I'm Aristol. I am a 40 year old 5'6" male married for over 17 years now with 2 children one is 19 married and on their lifes journey. The other is 15 and getting through high school.

I am obviously joining because I need a lot of motivation in trying to get back to a better weight. I am currently 224lbs, pant size 38. I need motivation because I want to lose the weight without letting on to my wife that I am. She loves me the way I am...

But, I don't want her to know because I used to be in a pants size 29 before our oldest at the age of 14 was diagnosed with an eating diaorder anorexia nervosa. They would throw up their food and or toss it out. I gained a lot of this weight helping them to eat because they refused to eat alone and when they tossed their food out I would need to eat again with them.

It has béen 5 years of gaining this weight and it is seriously starting to take a toll on my psyche. Yesterday I figured I would start exercising to get into shape since our daughter is no longer living with us it won't be a trigger for her. However, I couldn't even get halfway through a 40 min low impact routine.

It hit me really hard... I know to take it slow and make little changes. So my first goal is reaching out and asking for motivational help. Anyway thanks for taking the time in reading my story and I hope the best for everyone here.

 

[Cate]

Hi, Aristol & welcome to the forum. Firstly I will make a suggestion that you copy & paste what you posted above into the diary section of the forum, This is by far the most active part of the forum & has lots of very supportive & helpful people there who will help you with motivation. The link is at https://weight-loss.fitness.com/forums/weight-loss-diary.9/
I have just refocussed on losing weight I have regained & have decided that I am not telling anyone, except my husband what I am doing. I have come up with a plan that fits in with our relationship & lifestyle.
If you don't want your wife to know what you are trying to do, you may have to do some pretending about not being hungry while you cut down your calories or cut out certain foods. Does she do all the cooking? Can cutting out a few things make a difference do you think? With me, I need to limit wine, which I love. Do you drink beer or soda? Just a few simple replacements & adding some gentle exercise, like a walk outdoors can make a bigger difference than you think.
I'm glad you found the forum & I look forward to following your progress.

 

[Aristol Feliak]

Thanks for the advice Cate!

Does she do all the cooking?
I do most of the cooking. 4 days out of the week. She works 10-11 hour days. With 3 days off. We tend to go out on her days off.

Can cutting out a few things make a difference do you think?
Hmm, it probably can. I am used to sneaking in extra butter/oil/fats because of my daughters diet. So the opposite should be easier... Lol

With me, I need to limit wine, which I love. Do you drink beer or soda?
I don't drink any alcohol (My wife runs a drug and alcohol rehab facility) I do drink a soda (or 2) a day wich I should be able to cut out no problem. Well except maybe the first few days with a caffeine headache...

 

[Cate]

I do most of the cooking. 4 days out of the week. She works 10-11 hour days. With 3 days off. We tend to go out on her days off.

That will make it much easier to alter your "diet" without saying anything about it. That's excellent. Why I asked is that my husband does all the cooking so he needs to know what I am trying to do.
Re: soda. I drink black coffee first thing in the morning & then am caffeine-free for the rest of the day. Having mineral water instead of soda, maybe with a squeeze of lemon in it can make it feel less like you're missing out.

 

[Aristol Feliak]

I am hoping to lose a bit of weight by January (her birthday) so I can actually enjoy walking on a beach with her. Right now walking on sand is nigh impossible and she loves going to the beach.

 

[aiminglow]

What a great dad you are, to have worked so hard on helping your daughter through her eating troubles! I won't comment longer here, because Cate is right about the diary section being the best place for sharing our struggles and achievements - so I'll head off there right now to find your diary!
Oh, and hello, and welcome!

 

[Aristol Feliak]

What a great dad you are, to have worked so hard on helping your daughter through her eating troubles! I won't comment longer here, because Cate is right about the diary section being the best place for sharing our struggles and achievements - so I'll head off there right now to find your diary!
Oh, and hello, and welcome!

Thanks