hello all, please help me

F

fatpieceofugly

New member
I am a 36 yr old man, I divorced my wife and in the past 4 yrs have ballooned over 200lbs in weight, I am barely 6ft tall and currently weight 450lbs, I am very depressed and to the point of not caring anymore, I know people stare at me when I go out so I try to do it at little as possible, my life has no meaning anymore and I can't remember the last time I had a conversation with anyone, I have tried diet pills, systems, herbalife (that does not work and I refuse to join their cult) nothing works, I can see people suddenly spit when they see me

recently I tried to maybe bring back joy to my life and decided to join a car club (I have a passion for an old mitsubishi and I found a local club and joined) I attended one of their meetings and I could tell they were all staring, I tried to make friends and as I approached a few girls from the club they introduced themselves as "I'm ____ girlfriend" or as "I'm here with _____" or "I'm his wife" I was a bit taken aback, but I don't blame them, I have always considered myself a hard man, but the looks and then the jokes started, they were having a BBQ and a few started to poke fun and say "here is some meat I know you are hungry dude" the laugh and the finger pointing got to me, I have known I was fat, but I'm a good guy and I just wanted some friends, I live alone and have no immediate family, I sat in my car and I cried, for the first time since I was a kid, I went home and put my gun in my mouth... I am so desperate, I need to lose weight but I don't know what else to do, nothing works, I can't live like this any longer, I was too chicken shit to blow my brains out too, which makes this worse

I'm opening up to a bunch of strangers on the internet, it has been a week since I had any food now, have only been drinking water and today I passed out at the wheel of my car while sitting at a light only to have a policeman yell at me to move it fatso, I so want to die, how can I lose weight, how can I be a normal person again? I don't care about fashion or buying clothes, I only want to be normal, like everybody else, please someone help me how do I get them to stop staring and mumbling behind me?

where I work, people never speak to me, unless they have to and when they do it's always as short as possible, I went to a doctor and asked if I could have that lap band operation or stomach staple and he said no I can't have it done, then told me to eat healthier but I have done this and it does not work either, I just gain more weight no matter what I do, and I have been heavy my whole life but not like this
 
Hi fatpieceofugly.

Welcome to the forum.

In my opinion, if you really want to change...start with your nickname. Fatpieceofugly is your old nickname....think of something positive if you want to do this. Its a small change, but it will be your first positive step other than coming here in the first place.

Good luck and hope you succeed!
 
I have been drinking non stop since I posted this, I dunno what will become of me, but, surprise I am a pound lighter today on the scale

but I have a terrible headache and my arms feel like weights, I have not eaten anything since like friday but I have had v8 juice and jose cuervo tequila, I know this is not healthy but I can't bear to go outside anymore, I mean I'll go to work and sit in my cubicle without much interaction all day but that's it, I actualy wait for everybody else to take off so I can quietly waddle to my car and go home... I think being fat is probably hell, this is what hell must be like, every second of every day, you just know it, you just know people hate you
 
yes, being fat is hell

You're less than human by most peoples standards. I want to be a human too.

If you can eat 1500 cal per day you will lose weight fairly quickly. You say you're starving yourself now so 1500 calories shouldn't be hard for you. The hardest part is always the beginning. You feel sick, tired, hazy, dizzy, sleepy, starving, and might feel like you're getting the flu. If you can endure about a week of that though, all the symptoms except the hunger will start to go away as your body adjusts to its new low caloric intake.

One of the things I do is drink a lot of coffee while I'm at work, and at home I'll play video games or listen to music to try to stay relaxed and not think about food constantly. When you get down to around 300 pounds, you can start going for walks but for right now, just being 450 is like a constant workout in itself. So I would focus on diet and not worry about exercise unless you're confident that you have the energy to maintain solid willpower and workout. But if you think a workout will lead to a binge, then just avoid it.

Good luck and keep us updated.
 
Hi, and no I won't use your nickname because you're much better than that.

First and foremost I think you or we if you want my help, should get through your depression. Believe me when I say I want to help you because I've been there in so many ways all my life but I came through it without pills or any help and it was hell. Now I just feel that I want to help others.

I cannot start anything here because I know too little about your problem so please if you want me to help you, then contact me.

If you don't know how to get my details, here is my email address: MOD EDIT: Not allowed to put your email address in posts.

Hang in there. It can only get better from here on in and you're not alone.
 
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Dude! It is true - a lot of ppl will see the fat first and then the person inside. If they can ever see past the fat. But you know, I don't think you want those ppl as your friends anyway!!

Maybe a friendlier place would be a support group for depression - usually more sensitive ppl hanging around there...

If you do not want to go on medication for your mental suffering, maybe try a natural remedy like Sceletium. It is an African Herb, being commercially sold now, and in my opinion, much more effective than St Johnsworth... A nice side effect is, it curbs one's apatite a bit. And I know It works for depression, because I used it to get off my prescription anti-depro's. Which, by the way, made me pick up weight big time. I did take about double the dose, and chewed it with chewing gum. Don't worry, you will get use to the taste - at least it is not bitter, but it does taste a bit like old, worn socks... ;)

Another thing you might try is Hoodia. Another African herb. Great for energy and apatite suppression. Just make sure of your supplier.

I sound like a pill pusher. I occasionally use hoodia, and now also only occasionally sceletium. But both has helped me in the past, when I felt too weak to do it on my own.

I would also reccomend you look at your intake of Omega 3 fatty acids. Remember, your body needs fats to metabolize fats (my dad, a biochemist, use to repeat that over and over when his daughters was on a diet). And espesially good fats, like omega 3 and 6. I make a point of following a low calory/high fat diet. I incorporate 3 tablespoons of Hemp oil into my diet every day, and boy! I feel great!!!!!!

Help your body to help your mind stay positive. You will see, it makes the worlds difference. Visualise yourself the way you want to be, love that image, love yourself, and mentally step into that desired image of yourself. Feel thin. Practice that every day.

Good luck brother, you took your first step, and that is the hardest.
 
Honest?

I think we are not qualified to help you in the way you need. Based on your choice of words, actions and forum name, I believe you need to talk to a professional about how you see yourself. There is a great deal of self-hatred and that is actually harmful to weight loss. A great deal of successful weight loss is attitude. You are in a self-destructive spiral and you need to pull out of that first.

Another reason is more often than not, our weight gain is due to emotional eating. It makes us feel good and comforted. Right now, until you start to like yourself, I'm afraid it is more likely to drive you to food than away.

Also, start eating. Starving yourself will just lead to you eating alot more later.

First and formost, talk to a professional..or least a friend face to face that can help you.


Fix your spirit first. The body will come after.
 
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About the items Cath stated.

Get the diet scoop: 6 promising supplements, 6 to avoid - CNN.com

Hoodia There's been lots of hype about hoodia gordonni, a cactuslike South African plant with appetite-suppressing chemicals (in one study, people who took it ate 1,000 fewer calories a day).

But the hoodia in that test isn't available right now, says University of California, Los Angeles, expert and Health Advisory Board member David Heber, M.D., Ph.D. He says the hoodia products in stores or online probably contain other hoodia types that don't work -- or none at all.

The British company Phytopharm, which has a global patent on hoodia for weight loss, says real products are years away. Bottom line: The available hoodia products may be safe, but they're useless. (Health.com: Find your healthy weight. )


And as far as Sceletium Tortuosum is concerned, you have to worry some when the only case studies or information I can find on this is from companies selling it. I'll edit this if I find something other than it does can help elevate mood.

EDIT: Seriously, I can't find anything that isn't from a site selling the stuff. From what I can put together, it comtains mesembrine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mesembrine) which is likely to count towards the antidepressive effects of Kanna (whihc is Sceletium).

So basicly, it's medicine. Just like the medicines that a professional would give you. Just because it is 'all natural' doesn't mean it is any different that what a professional can give you...and least then you know you are getting the right dose and the right stuff.
 
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Hmmm.. surviving on water alone is not a wise thing to choose for weight loss.

I think weight loss and fitness always boil down to 2 things: 1) Metabolism and 2) Nutrition.

Metabolism: You worked to expend the excess calories so that they do not turn into fats. To do that, either you create a calories deficit or you increase your calories usage.

For most cutting calories (aka reduce portion size) is easier but not everyone can withstand the hunger pangs. Check out the supplement - hoodia gordonii - it can be useful as it make your brain think you are full so that you won't feel lethargic or cranky.

For those who prefer to exercise, you should focus on weight training and high intensity interval training like wind sprinting. Forget about cardio.

Nutrition: First thing is to get the habit of reading labels. If you see anything that says high fructose corn syrup, trans fat, hydrogenated or partial hydrogenated oil, put it back.

Next understand that you need to eat a balance meal, and not follow a fad diet. One that contains carbohydrates, protein and fat.

Opt for unprocessed carbs and when possible, it's better to take fruits (not fruit juice) and vegetables. Technically speaking, fruit and vegetables are less calories dense. Good for losing weight.

Get your plant protein from beans, legumes, and nuts, while animal protein, eat free-range and/or organic meats.

Get this straight, we need fat. And the right kind of fats would make you fat. What we need is natural fats from fishes like salmon and tout or fruits like avocado.

When you need oil, use coconut oils and pure virgin olive oils.

By the way, for the ladies and gentlemen out there, avoid soy based products and beer.

Guys, soy and beer (contains estrogenic compounds) cause fats to accumulate on your chest. So unless you are interest to grow boobs continue eating.

Ladies, one of the reasons why your stubborn belly fat never go away could be due to your high intake of soy based product and beer.

Good luck and hope you succeed. Never give up!
 
Hello all once again, I know it's been a while but I got my laptop stolen last year and also lost my job...actualy I quit because I couldn't stand them cracking jokes and it was kind of saddening to me last 4th of July last year when I was going out of the office to hear a guy tell me "hey have a fun holiday, don't eat too many burgers!" and three cubicles busted in laughter, I of course try not to show my disdain for that comment but I stormed out and actualy went to the boss and told him I was quitting,

he went on to a tirade about this not being the right time to betray the company. What about my decade of service blah blah, if I needed help to cope with my personal life blah blah. I just left, I went home and started to look for a job, I found several postings, so I submitted my resume and wet to a few interviews, my job does not require me to be moving around much but I was told that I wasn't what they were looking for so back in December I started my own business and opened up a pawn shop/gun place with my severance from the investment firm

Ok, so here is where we stand, I am down 50Lbs to exactly 400Lbs now, I know it's not much but I lack energy, I am trying to avoid burgers and fast food but I still don't feel good around people enough to join a Gym, my Doctor died of a heart attack... I was very surprised to hear this since he was a skinny Hindu guy... apparently he had high colesterol which I don't want to happen to me, but I just know I'm going to have a heart attack, I can feel it like it's there in my future.

I have tried to have my kids with me on several occasions but my 17yr old daughter is just very difficult to get along with :( I shouldn't pour my life on the internet but I truly have zero friends, I'd like my kids to be proud of me, if anything, I don't want anything more, I don't want to be rich I got enough money and material stuff, but the only thing I want now is to see that admiration in my kid's faces towards me, I want to look normal again, I understand that due to my fatness I probably won't live long, I had to get admitted to the hospital with bronchitis and deteriorated drenal system, I spent 6 days in hospital last november due in part to my simply drinking one glass of water per day, and not ingesting any food for 2 weeks after my ex wife came to get the kids and I told her I was starting to lose some weight and she said "you still fat as ever, you look heavier now" (I had in fact lost like 20lbs at that point)

anyways I need to go to bed now, I need a diet that is not going to make me eat a lot I can't stand the sight of myself eating
 
Hello!

I've just read your post and felt really sad for how you were feeling before. I am glad though to read that you have started your own business and lost 50lb that is absolutely FANTASTIC news and you are so going in the right direction. So tell us how you lost this 50lbs. What are you eating? Perhaps you should start a diary here. You can post what you eat for breakfast lunch dinner snack etc and also how you feel ie at what specific times of day you feel hungry/faint/dizzy etc. Those feelings are not unusual its probably just a sugar withdrawl but early on when you were not eating is just extreme and not the right way to go about healthy eating.

Also if your feeling lonely there are plenty of people here to help and support you although not the same as real people i know. Have you though about joinging something like weight watchers? I did about 4-5yrs ago and lost 28lbs. Everyone is there to help and support it's members. There's meetings after the weigh ins so you can chat and get to meet other atendees and the important thing to remember is that everyone is there for the same reason so you shoudn't feel embarrassed or out of place.

keep up the good work and keep us updated :0)
 
Hi friend!

1 year and 50 pounds down. Although you may think to yourself, wow I'm 400 pounds! Think of where you have come from. 50 pounds is a lot and you should be proud of that progress. Minus 50 pounds is a hell of a lot better than plus 50 pounds, you're going in the right direction. Good job.

I would highly consider listening to Jericho's advice. Many eating disorders are a result of the mind, not the bodily cravings. I'm not saying you have an eating disorder, but trying to illustrate the point that eating unhealthy is as much as an issue of the mind as it is of the body.

If you feel you are stable enough to change your lifestyle then you can. Firstly, I would highly recommend checking out Fat Lazy Guy's thread. He was a similar weight to you when he began his weight loss and through a lot of hard work he did manage to lose it. Here is the thread I'm talking about. His journey is shown step by step. This could be inspiration to you, and it could also help you give tips to get you started.

http://weight-loss.fitness.com/before-after-between/38821-before-after-285-4-lbs-lost.html

I would also suggest starting a journal and updating it daily, I find it really helps with identifying how to lose weight, what is effective, and what isn't. As well, the members of this forum are very friendly and helpful. First with just documenting your diet, try improving it daily. It will take time for you to get in the habit of finding healthy alternatives but it is possible. Soon, you should begin attempting to exercise, even if it is just walking outside for 20 minutes a day. Any exercise is better than none. Plus, exercising will give you a lot more energy. The first steps will be difficult, with the support of this community I know you can make it through the first few weeks. After that you'll start gaining more and more confidence, energy, and probably friends :).

I know you can do this, I wish you the best of luck. I will be keeping an eye on your progress, message me if you ever need some help or just someone to talk to :D.
 
Hey man I have had weight issues as long as you have, the feelings you are having of people hating you because you are over weight, or intentionally making fun of you(its true people make fat jokes to fat people and don't think before they speak) is bogus. You may have had some less then desirable co workers but those people are unhappy with themselves as well most of the time.

Have you talked to a doctor about depression? I have been out of highschool for almost 5 years now and I haven't done anything with my life, I've put on enough weight to feel like people are staring at me with snide remarks in the back of their heads. I've been eating only fruits and veggies the past few days and I gotta tell you I feel much better already.

Once you get over the hump which it looks like you've started 50lbs(good job dude) you just gotta keep going, think of how good it feels to be down 50lbs. imagine how you will feel when you get down 100lbs. keep it up man. don't let bad vibes bring you down.
 
Without reading the whole thing,
MAN, GO EAT A SALAD.. NOW!!! Or any kind of SQUARE MEAL! (include protein and veggies, for sure)
You desperately need some nutrients in your body. Passing out is clearly your bodies way of telling you that you're doing the wrong thing!
You really do some professional help, but we can help as far as being your online friends and support group. I'll finish reading and maybe add more comments.
(Jericho is usually right about what he writes)
 
Hi you have said you are quite comfortable financially so why dont you try bringing a gym to your home.....you can get cheap equipment these days which help a lot...also Fitness DVD's are a good way to start. Your ex wife obviously has a lot of past hate built up inside her, and she is probably one of the people who can hurt your feelings the most but remember she is the past now! You say you would like to make your kids proud and look up to you so use this for inspiration whenever you feel low. If you set yourself with goals and keep yourself inspired your half way there already.

Good luck.....and remember dont worry what other people think your doing this for you and your kids....and also blowing your brains out would cause them a great deal of hurt so get these thoughts out of your head!
 
Hello all, it's been a while, a rollercoaster, but I am still ticking, it's been a long time I know, but I have come down to 337 pounds in weight, I can't seem to be able to lose anymore, I was hospitalized in 2013 because I had a complication with a lung infection, yes I am lighter but I really should lose 100 pounds...

well I am here for ideas, I have a treadmill and a stationary bike, I currently work as a software engineer so lots of sitting, I need to reach my goal, I don't want to pay for nutrysystem or any of those crazy ass diets,, can anyone help me with developing a meal/portion program to lose 100 lbs by december?

I am 6ft, 337lbs as you can imagine, everyone basically spits when they look at me, I have my wife now, and my kids, they are here because they have to I guess, I just want to be better for them, if I can still be around by the time they marry I will feel awesome, I cant seem to lose weight anymore, I have been stuck at 337 since last august

i feel so defeated
 
I have not had a computer for at least 2 years, I am sorry I didn't thank enough for the enouraging posts, I should have lost the weight already but I have had ups and downs, I met my wife so I'm married again and although everyone seems to wonder why I married her (hint everybody thinks she is crazy and not good looking) she helped me through the worst, and stuck by my side even when I lost my business and job and had nothing, I owe it to her to look like a man and not a ball of lard, she is constantly on me to eat healthy and exercise, but no matter what I do I am not getting skinnier
 
i'm new here and i came here looking for help and didn't consider that i may try to help someone else. i have had weight issues since i was about 6 years old, so i know how you feel. the hardest thing is hating yourself, and that's what you need to try to change first, and it's really hard. i know that i am an intelligent, good-hearted, fun, interesting person and not bad looking either, but i still hate myself a good deal of the time. the hating myself came before the weight, and the weight is probably a symptom of that. this is something you need to work on EVERY DAY. find something that works to help you with that. you can create it. listen to The Secret. read or listen to Abraham-Hicks. as long as you tell yourself you are a fat piece of ugly, etc. you are gonna hate yourself. stop looking for people to reject you. start looking for them to see what is good about you. people like to be around happy people, not people who hate themselves. perceive yourself as a fat piece of ugly and you're going to act like a fat piece of ugly. just stop it.

check out the book, It Starts With Food. the science in this book makes so much sense and will help you to realize the physiological reasons you have such a hard time with food. there are a lot of companies in this country making money off people who have an unhealthy relationship with food and they perpetuate it and it's never ending and it's everywhere. read this and read it until it sinks in. we have to educate ourselves, arm ourselves, to deal with it and not be manipulated by it.
 
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