Found new inspiration.

D

deschain

0
Ok, so some of you may remember that I've been struggling with motivation and busting through a stubborn plateau.

Remember when one of you mentioned that I have to hit "that point" before I can really, truly hit it hard? Yeah, well, that happened - big time.

Friday night, my husband threw me a surprise party at some friends' house. It was a whole lotta fun (we all went through 184 jello shots, several cases of beer, and other various alcohol).

Later in the night, there were only 6 of us left. Well, someone gets the bright idea to get into the jacuzzi. (umm, yeah, I haven't worn a swimsuit in almost a decade). Well, they were far more drunk than me, and would not leave me alone about getting in. I finally caved and went to the bathroom to put on a suit - I was in tears, and actually had a panic attack - I'm talkin' hyperventilating, can't breathe, think I'm gonna pass out panic attack (which I haven't had in years).

I realized right then and there that I never ever wanted to feel that way again. To actually have a panic attack over putting on a swimsuit b/c my mental insecurities are that strong, and I feel that bad about how I look is entirely unacceptable. It's mostly in my head, I really don't have that far to go weight wise, but it is very powerful.

So, yes, I do believe that counts as hitting "that point" and I have been on it hard all week, and hope that anytime I start to slip, I can remember just how bad that felt.

Anyway, just thought I'd share before I went to Spin class.
 
aww i wish your inspiration was something "nicer" than a panic attack.
either way, im glad your back on track though.
keep that chin up.
from what i have read, your a nice person striving to fulfill fitness goals.
and i respect that.
i wish you well :D

jon
 
An interesting view of self-Image:

A Woman Walking Up a Hill

I walked past a picture, empty of my face

'Cause you told me I'd grow into my ugly.

I bought a camera and filled it with my face

‘Cause you told me I’d grow into my ugly.

It’s either going to be a chronology to

Your truth OR something different

~Get Out of My Internalized BS~

December 20, 2005



A rather interesting link to read, Deschain.


ROCK WITH IT!


Settle this score with yourself, and take off like a rocket!
 
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I can totally relate to the panic attack thing.

But don't worry. I think you'll be fine. I think it was because the moment wasn't right for you, and on top of that you haven't worn a suit in a lot time, so it probably made you felt uncomfortable is all.

I say keep going. Perhaps you should try wearing your suit more often and in public places... like the beach or pool... so that way you won't have a panic attack next time you have to do something like that with friends and family.

But in any case, I wish you well.
 
I definitely have self image issues since having kids.

There are women who are bigger than me, who walk around in tank tops, or swimsuits and no one looks twice. Yet, I just have this fear that if I do that, everyone's going to think I have no business wearing that.

I know that when it's all said and done, and I get back into training - I will be a better trainer for having experienced what it really feels like to struggle with weight loss. It won't be something I've read about, or seen others deal with, but a personal struggle I had to overcome.

Soooo, hopefully all of that can help to keep me on track. (that, and all of you staying on my butt about it.) LOL
 
That's a good motivation story. Often the most lasting experiences are those where we catcha glimpse of our own weaknesses and shortcomings. That's where the real motivation comes from.
 
deschain said:
I definitely have self image issues since having kids.

There are women who are bigger than me, who walk around in tank tops, or swimsuits and no one looks twice. Yet, I just have this fear that if I do that, everyone's going to think I have no business wearing that.

I know that when it's all said and done, and I get back into training - I will be a better trainer for having experienced what it really feels like to struggle with weight loss. It won't be something I've read about, or seen others deal with, but a personal struggle I had to overcome.

Soooo, hopefully all of that can help to keep me on track. (that, and all of you staying on my butt about it.) LOL
Click to expand...

FOOT IN IT (YEA! Thats Right! Velcro-ed, Nailed, Superglued, Rooted, implanted, and STUCK!)

Deschain needs to be like a Shotput to stay Afoot and not go Underfoot as we will put a foot in Deschain's Butt to make her Strut. Now What? Another Kick in the Butt?



:)

Oh.....

ROCK ON!
 
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Damn Chillen, that was one messed up white boy!:11doh: but funny as hell.

I'm tellin' you Tony, I would love to do that kind of workout sometime, although my yard is pretty small and the neighbors would probably think I've lost my damn mind.

I could see it now, all the neighbors pulling up lawn chairs to watch the crazy lady trying to flip tires in the front yard.
 
I wrote this small post in my ChillOut Log, but I want to share it with you Deschain. I hope this inspires you in some way.

People can adapt and overcome anything if its in them: I see this everyday in my wife:

I felt alot of depression today. I asked myself what love is. Its loving a woman unconditionally for 25 years. I debated whether to share this personal side of me for quite a few months, but I have decided to do so.

About 5 years ago, my wife was diagnosed with Lupos, and also has a bone condition called: Fiber Dysplacia of the front left facial bone (has had this all her life). She can carry nearly 10lbs worth of water in her legs and hips after work, has nagging muscle pains, and sometimes intense headache and other bodily aches and pains (to make this short). She has had several operations on her face where they litterally shaved her front cheek bone and sinus area that continually gets blocked from the bone growth. She had one about 4 months ago, and this one was rather serious and needed to be done or she faced certain death due to the placement of the bone growth. (brief synopsis)

She never complains, and is not ashamed of her self, always puts herself last and her family first. She is always persistant: She is my idol.

Doctors say she wont live past the age of 60. I say she will because of her heart.

If you ever wondered what drives me, its my wife. I keep myself conditioned to be able one day to: cloth her, bath her, feed her, and put her to bed. I love her: She is my idol.

I must be prepared so I must keep my aging body fit for the task and not let her down or myself down.

What she lacks in beauty she makes up with her heart and soul: I love her.

Today was not a good day as she suffered back pain and pain from the water gain, and never complained, but was drawn and tired, but she never gives up.

There is nothing I cant bare when I look at her, that she hasnt felt.

She is the one that boils in my heart of desire. I would do anything for her.

This one of the reasons I am who I am and act the way I do. I know I can make her life as happy with her medical condition, and want to set out to do simuliar things for other people.

I hope this makes sense. And, I hope one can understand me more for what its worth.

I see everyday what having a determined heart and soul can do to a person​

(so I Chill mentally in this respect)

Now,


ROCK ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​
 
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deschain said:
Well, they were far more drunk than me, and would not leave me alone about getting in. I finally caved and went to the bathroom to put on a suit - I was in tears, and actually had a panic attack - I'm talkin' hyperventilating, can't breathe, think I'm gonna pass out panic attack (which I haven't had in years).
Click to expand...

Didn't your husband know this would be a problem for you? If he did and still insisted you joined in then I think you need to read this;



Sometimes it's justified :)
 
umm, ouch.

Actually, I'm glad you mentioned that. He was a prince.

He calmly backed me up when I tried to say that it just wasn't going to happen.

They all got in, and we sat in chairs next to the jacuzzi. They messed with him to get in, and he told them he was going to sit next to his wife.

After a while, I decided to go for it, and he went into the house with me, stood outside the bathroom, and wouldn't let my really drunk friend in b/c he knew how I was feeling, and knew I needed a minute.

When we got into the jacuzzi, he sat with one leg propped over me to cover my stomach (you know how you don't just sit straight, how the seats are all cockeyed). He even tricked a girl into turning off the light inside the hot tub b/c he knew I would be more comfortable.

That is one thing about my dh. He is the most supportive man I could've dreamed of. If something happened to me in life, he would be like Chillen is to his wife, which is truly special.

Also, I know all this makes my friends sound like inconsiderate assholes, but really, they were that drunk, and they didn't (don't) know just how big of a deal that is for me. They didn't know how serious it was for me, they just thought they were messing around.
 
Deschain - Honey, I'm totally with you on that. You took the words right out of my mouth when you said, "There are women who are bigger than me, who walk around in tank tops, or swimsuits and no one looks twice. Yet, I just have this fear that if I do that, everyone's going to think I have no business wearing that." I ALWAYS feel that way. And it sucks.

Chillen - I cannot imagine what you (and your wife!) must go through. I'm so sorry. Is there anything you/"they" can do to ease her pain? That is just so awful! ((HUGS))
 
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