Family members w/ a negative effect

stoptheexcuses

stoptheexcuses

New member
Hello and good morning to you all. Has anyone else found that once you start getting serious and motivated..someone in your family tries to put a kybosh on it? My husband who I love very much...now that i have done 3 straight weeks of walking or excersizing 6days a week..is now giving me a hard time. He is now asking me to stay in bed and cuddle.. saying things like "oh honey stay w/ me ... we dont have any alone time etc etc" I told him that I love him very much but I need this for me & it will make me a better person for our whole family. He has recently also started saying things like "oh well..this wont last long anyway" to other people while im listening... This just ticks me off! I honestly felt like wow! You are part of my problem....but only if I let you become a problem! Im not going to fail! Not this time! I swear its like my therapist says...when you start to change it threatens everyone around you and they feel uncomfortable because their normal way of being is not quite the same. just venting!
 
This kind of thing happens alot when you try to do something better for yourself for some reason. I think some of it can be jealousy. And for me, some of it was a fear that I think hubby had, that if I make myself look better and feel better, then I would up and leave him. Not a realistic fear, but I think he felt threatened none-the-less.
 
YES!!! I have that same problem! My husband hates me being on a diet, I think for the same reasons fitmom stated. He bring chips and chocolates and pop in the house, not that he normally doesn't do that, but my asking him to stop hasnt' worked. When I talk about taking a walk or calories I ate, he'll just roll his eyes at me. The other day I was talking about my diet, and he said to be quiet b/c he was watching this show. So I got upset and said "tony, this is important to me!" and he said "Honestly Korrie, we are just talking about your diet here" My hubby is significantly overweight and loves to eat all the time, but like STOPTHEEXCUSES said, I'm not going to let him be a problem, or an excuse to overeat.
 
i can relate to what you're saying my husband does the same darn thing. i tried to get him into the exercise,but it's not for him. so i'm stuck going at it alone and when i make progress and start looking good he makes little comments like"my little chunkits" is his fave. maybe he's just afraid i'll get bigger muscles than him?who knows men are kinda weird sometimes ;) but it really pisses me off,and it's such a downer when your starting to feel good.
 
Wow! thank you all for validating how I feel and showing me that im not the only one that goes thru it. I agree w/ all of you ..i think they feel threatened. My husband will bring home things he knows i cant say no to and plop them right in front of me and say...'well you dont have to, but im going to." He has thankfully never said anything negative or joking about my weight..but he has about my breasts and about how they are starting to sag and he knows how i hate it ... nursing 2 kids and the fact they are Ds doesnt work well in a gravity rich environment. Oh well.. his pepee isnt exactly huge so if i was him he better be careful!
 
LMAO! that is so funny i'm about to cry!
let me tell ya when you breast feed,they don't have to be D's to sag!!!
guy's reading this are probably wishing they hadn't TMI for sure :D

husbands what do they know?
mine sure does that too,shows up w/ chocolate "for the kids" :rolleyes: kids like kids can eat a familly pack. glad to know there are others out there!
 
Yeah.. what can I say..they are all mentally challenged. Mine actually tried to challenge me this morning that I obviously didnt want to have sex w/ him and that if i did that to him and went walking instead i would be upset w/ him. I told him that if he turned me down at that time because he was trying to do something good for himself I would understand and just attack him later. What a donkey!
 
I think women are different that way..not to be sounding anti men..because im not...but really w/ men being so competitive...honestly I think they view it as a threat & a challenge...even if they dont see it.
Im glad your girl is helpful...it is so important to have people to motivate & help you along!
 
I'd say its competition, with the women losing weight while the guys stay the same and eat all crappy it makes us look lazier to ourselves, so instead of joining in we gotta put ya down so you stay the same as us lol. did this make any sense?
 
yes..yes it did..and i do believe thats what is going on ...because i come home from my workout and he says.. "i worked out too on the machine at home" and i never even said a word..so its his guilt...nothing else. He is a great guy..and probably really doesnt even know how many times he has kyboshed my efforts..but i have to realize it and not let it keep happening. Thats why im up at the crack of dawn to get my workout in.
 
My family has been very supportive. However, my problem is with some of my "friends" or people I thought were friends. It also hurts nonetheless. For some reason they now think I'm a different person. I guess they are used to me being fat. I've heard comments about how they think I'm being a jerk or arrogant. It's still the same me, and it's kinda sad that instead of being happy for me they say crap about me :( but it's ok, I guess I've now realized who my real friends are, the ones that cheer me on and the ones that don't eat fast food or junk food around me "because they didn't want me to feel bad or intice me" :)
 
I have a few people in my life like that..or should i say they WERE in my life... they would make comments like i thought i was better then them..whatever..even my husband..who keeps using the phrase "once in a while it wont kill you to eat that...or once in a while you an take a break from exercizing "etc..etc...actually it COULD kill me if i do those things as my dad is diabetic & i have heart disease in my family..but then again so does he. My mom and dad are supportive in yet in the same breath they make comments on how ive done this lots of times and failed..so i dont know what you call that..but i wouldnt call it supportive !
 
That's when you turn to places like this to get support. It's like having a group of friend that will always be there to help. and so far this place has been very helpfull :)

As far as support from family and friends go i know where your coming from :) they all think i'm nuts for doing weights, they think i want to be Arnold Shwartzawomen lol
So i can feel for you all :)
 
Absolutely.. this place has helped me so much..more than my family actually..
weird huh!
I want to be Angelina Jolie from tomb raider..she was sooo buff
 
Coming from a guys perspective - any husband or boyfriend who is not supportive of his wifes/girlfriends efforts to diet and look better is very insecure. Remember that misery loves company. DONT STAND FOR IT! Get them involved. My wife has never been committed to exercise. I have tried to get her to start for years. Recently we had the opportunity to work out together at the center where my son is in preschool. Well it was time for me to put up or shut up. So, I quit the hardcore gym that I went to, and joined the gym at the center with my wife. Now we are working out together and it has been really nice. Please do not ever stand for someone getting in the way of your goals. If they ignore you or try to sabotage you it is disrespectful.
 
Thanks! I do know this...He has a terrible self esteem..and i know thats where this stems. I have encouraged him and told him that I would come over there to walk w/ him during his break from work or after work..whatever..he just wont commit and then I end up standing there w/ 2 kids waiting.. Unfortunately right now its a tough time in both our lives w/ 1 child thats a year old and one thats 8... and also, he doesnt like getting up in the morning early and im up at dawn & I walk for 45 min to an hr. I think he is coming around as the other day he told me how great i was doing and how he wished he could do the same. I told him that I appreciated his encouragement. I worry about him also..he is about 30 lbs overweight ..not as bad as I am..but his dad had a heartattack at 30..& his uncles both in their 30s... very scary
 
BodyelasticBK, you set the bar for all husbands/boyfriends
and i agree w/ you if husbands/boyfriends don't like it then they should do something about it.It does all stem from insecurities though and that's just something they have to deal with. i've found something that i actually enjoy doing and i'm not going to stop for anyone :) as far as involvement goes, doubt thats gonna happen(unless i really do get bigger muscles than him lol)


K.
Considering family history your husband should look into some form of cardio, it runs in my family also so i understand your concerns, it's never too late to start :)
 
This is a great thread really enjoyed reading it...Ive started throwing away the reeses my hubby brings almost everyday! I tell him stop he brings it anyway.So I trash em...My husband is fit and seems to beleive women should be squishy. I feel like hes telling me if I get all skinny again he wont like it. But I dont like being unhealthy or unhappy. He isnt supportive, sometimes I wish he would get fat so he would know how I feel!:p
 
I had the same problem.
I told them i would give them $10 for every kg i lost so they encourage me to exercise and make sure i ate the right foods.
I ended up shelling out $300 before they stopped taking the money and just realized how much better it was with me being slimmer. Im still loosing weight though - husband has lost 10kg now also and the kids are much happier :D
 
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