Embarassed to be here, which seems unhealthy...

[Myrmecos]

Well, I find myself on a weight loss journey. I'm 5'11 and started at 238lbs. I watched a lot of "I wont let it get worse than that" milestones fly by in a very short period of time. I was really healthy for a long time, running 5-10 miles 3 times a week, lots of strength training, averaging about 160lbs. I had a knee injury which stopped a lot of my running and Ive never been able to get back to that point. I made up for it with other fun outdoor activities, but never started formally exercising. Then I decided to become a doctor and towards the end of my training I was getting 3-4 hours of sleep a night and running exclusively on caffeine and sugar. I ballooned to about 210lbs in 18 months and over the last year I put on the additional 30lbs because a new job kept me busy so I never had time for recreational activities and never changed my terrible eating habits.

I've finally made some 'for me' decisions, started a job at a new hospital and have more reasonable hours. I've started calorie counting carefully, keeping my intake below 1800 and exercising 5-6 days a week with at least 4 days of at least 45 min of cardio and 1-2 days of weight training. Since Jan. 5 I have lost 8 lbs- Im down to 230, so I am seeing progress.

The problem Ive been struggling with is forgiving myself. I find myself genuinely mad that Ive let myself get so out of shape. When I do lunges and lose my form after 10, or can barely do a pushup, I get upset with myself in an uproductive way. Even things I should be pleased about (yesterday I ran for 1.5 miles without stopping which is something I havent been able to do in years) I just find myself mad and discouraged that I couldnt push myself to do 2 miles. I also struggle to let myself have recovery days. I felt completely exhausted 3 days ago- I had bumped up from 30 to 45 min of cardio 2 days before and had done an intense weight training session and had slept poorly. Even on that day when I could barely get through work I felt real guilt for going home and not working out. I had to negotiate with myself and ended up doing a very light yoga session to stretch and relax.

I would love advice from anyone who has struggled with this kind of thing. I can see how this kind of obsession with the attached guilt and anger could quickly become another unhealthy life style choice that I really want to avoid.

Thanks in advance!

 

[allcdnboy1]

Maybe try setting achievable goals before working out. While it is possible to continue to push yourself, it's not healthy. It also affect long term performance. If you gradually increase your running distance, for example, where you aren't burning out each time, your peak distance will be much further than if you constantly push your limits. Your body starts to fail and you will plateau much earlier. It's the same thing with weights. If I did weights to the point of failure every day, I would never see any real improvement. I need to let off the throttle for a week (or 2) and then try pushing it a little bit further.

 

[I. Kostelenski]

hello Myrmecos

you should focus on nutrition and take off some pounds before you go to the gym ... what often happens, when a big person starts with training - is to hurt themself ... you can permanently damage the knees, hips, wrists .. .walk around the block is, for start, more than enough ... take care of protein intake to start building your lean muscle mass

 

[Rosie Louise]

You have to stop punishing yourself. You will have good days and bad days, but if you have a bad day don't make it worse by doing that to yourself, just get straight back on it. you will do it in your own time smile. xx