Cohen's Lifestyle Eating to keep others happy

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Louise1

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I hate eating to keep other people happy, and I can't believe how often we do it!!

This week - lunch with a friend. Stuck my ground and just drank mineral water. Result: really happy, although a little surprised at how much pressure other people put on you to eat, and eat what THEY want you to.

Dinner last night, a friend of my other half's. I'd never met them before. They knew I was veg but not a coehnite. PASTA EVERYWHERE!!!!

AND there was so much pressure to eat - not just polite 'eat' it was full on!!!! To the point of a polite argument:confused:

REsult: My stomach is killing me today, even though I just had a couple of mouth fulls and the tiniest bit of dessert.

Eating must be the new boom in the peer pressure department!
 
I have given up trying to keep them happy

I can sympathise with you Louise!

I have been trying to have people here for dinners etc so that I can prepare my meal but I am also more than happy to prepare a "normal" meal for the guests. It is working to some extent but I still get the "just have a little bit!"

AND.....
The Greek In-Laws just don't/won't understand that I won't eat their deep fried puff pastry covered in icing sugar dessert!!!!!:confused: :confused: :confused:

Janine
 
Louise, you need different friends.

Herm, as for your inlaws, get your hubby to talk to them quietly. If he makes it clear to them that they're not to push food onto you, and they still do, then STOP VISITING them until you're finished your programme.

Louise. Now that the shock has worn off, I'll explain what I mean... :D

Last night I went to a birthday dinner party at a friend's house. Her brother, who's birthday it was is a friend of ours too, and we had a ball. There were only 6 of us around the dinner table and we had dinner on her apartment balcony overlooking the brisbane river, it was lovely.

When I got the invitation, I rang her for a chat. She knows I'm on the programme. I asked nicely what's for dinner, and she said a seafood entree, and pork spare ribs for main. Then something for desert, but she wasn't sure yet.

She offerred to make something special for me. I told her that I'd bring my own food, and she wasn't to worry about me at all. She was fine with that.

When we got there, I slipped my food into the fridge. When it was time for entree, she quietly asked me whether I wanted to eat with their entree or main. I opted for the main. I watched while everyone had their Garlic Prawns on a bed of jasmine rice. It smelled GOOOOOOOD.

A little while later, when the hostess left the table to finish up preparation for their main course, I got up too, now, as you know us women usually congregate in the kitchen and talk about the men :D Anyway, I took this time to cook my chicken and Veg (taken pre-weighed).

I sat with them and ate my meal, while they ate the fantastic smelling Pork Spare Ribs! I didn't feel left out at all.

Then, while they were all eating Sticky Date Pudding, I had a REALLY yummy Nectarine and a salada. Only my times were a little out, but hey, better than eating sticky date pud!

We had a ball. The company was fantastic.

My point is, you need friends who will support you, not undermine you.

If you don't know the people, then just politely decline the invitation. You aren't going to be on the programme forever, and gosh, with how little you have left it's only a month or so and you'll be FINISHED!

asy :D
 
Azyoz, I am definately going to decline next time. Hubby really wanted me to meet these friends but I am going to say fine, but book it in for January!
 
Yup, that's the way to go.

Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you by being blunt, but really, it's the only way to go. Also, hit hubby in the back of the head from me! He needs to be a little more sensitive!

asy :D
 
"helpful" hubbies

Whilst on the subject of hitting hubbies in the head.......what can you do when they are trying to be "helpful"??? Mine asks my weight 3-4 times a week, and "suggests" I should be losing as much as someone else he knows on Cohens - grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. :mad:

I try to explain that it is an individual thing and I will lose at the rate that is right for my body.....but boys seem to like everything to be black and white it seems. Whats this "different for everybody" fluffy stuff? LOL;) ;) ;)

Ah well, I guess he is easier to handle than the friends who try to push more or inappropriate food on you.

Cheers, G
 
Men

I think if you where to ask for a general list of the top 20 attributes of men, I dont think that "sensitive" would get on the list. We simply have a much less complex internal world in particular with the relationships with other humans. As a test try discussion with your man, your feelings, issues and dealings with between your circle of female friends. After 2 minutes he will start looking confused and lost...this is normal we cannot even if we try understand the full picture. My 10 year old daughter already has more complex relationships with her friends that I have every had with any of my adult male friends.
 
Toto said:
Whilst on the subject of hitting hubbies in the head.......what can you do when they are trying to be "helpful"??? Mine asks my weight 3-4 times a week, and "suggests" I should be losing as much as someone else he knows on Cohens - grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. :mad:

Cheers, G
Click to expand...

My husband would do a similar thing and think it was like cheerleading... he's spurring me on to do better. Whilst I would take offence!

Ask him to focus on the positive and constantly tell you how fantastic you're doing and how much skinnier you look etc.

I find you have to be very clear and specific with husbands...... unfortunately, they can't read our minds!
 
Remember this:

MEN ARE SIMPLE BEASTS.

They are cute, and in my man's case, cuddly, but they DO NOT UNDERSTAND WOMEN.

They don't even PRETEND to understand women.

The most important thing you MUST do is TELL THEM what you want from them! If they are doing things you don't like, TELL THEM. nicely, but tell them.

Trust me, they appreciate it.

asy :D
 
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