Do ex-slim people have it worse?

[lecola]

I am not an ex-slim person. I started gaining weight during puberty, stayed overweight during my teens, and became straight-up obese during my 20s. I watched Access Hollywood last night where the host Maria had shot up to the size 14 after being pageant worthy for years. She said family and friends were the worst to her during this time. (Damn I would love to be a size 14.)

So it seems like former beautiful people have it worse than people who were fat all their lives. Definition of "worse" meaning ridicule or flat rejection from people who were fine with you when you were thin. People who you thought loved you unconditionally before you gained weight show their true colors. Must feel horrible.

I've been fat most of my life at this point and it's certainly no picnic. Losing steadily, but far from being thin. I'm curious as to how formerly skinny people deal with life after they gain weight. Were you treated a lot better when you were thin? Is being treated with more respect and acceptance fueling your weight loss journey now?

 

[corndogggy]

I'm curious as to how formerly skinny people deal with life after they gain weight. Were you treated a lot better when you were thin? Is being treated with more respect and acceptance fueling your weight loss journey now?

At the peak of my weight I still wasn't anywhere near what alot of people here have been, so this isn't going to be an accurate assessment, but quite honestly, I never noticed any change at all, at least from a social standpoint. I didn't even know I was fat. I was thin enough and fit enough that I made it to nationals as a sprinter when I was younger, and even made it onto a college track team as a sprinter. You can't do that and be even somewhat overweight, especially if you're white. After that, the weight packed on so slowly that I had no idea. My wife or family never said a word. I didn't realize it until I went on vacation in Florida with my sister, and she took pictures and sent them back to us. I had no idea I was fat until I saw those pictures. It was a very strange feeling. Now I'm actually lighter and in better shape then when I was on the college track team, strangely enough, but, there's really not much difference. People seem to respect my opinion more when they ask about eating healthily and stuff, and I find myself in those conversations constantly, but that's about it.

So, I never really had it overly good or overly bad, no matter what I weighed, but I am not exactly popular either, so that had to be taken into consideration. Actually I think that's a huge role in the question. It's not a matter of how skinny you used to be, it's a matter of how popular you were, and how much that popularity was based off of your looks. If you weren't popular to begin with, like me, then, well, it just doesn't matter at all. Being skinny doesn't make you popular like some people think.

 

[theleip]

You know I think it is all how you look at it. Some people would say it is worse to have had money and lost it, than to have never have had it at all. But I say lucky you for getting a day of wealth.

I have known some people who have gone their whole life never knowing what it is like to wear "the skinny jeans", who have always been "the friend".

I say its never easy no matter where you are coming from to not love the way you look and feel.

 

[M2M]

I've always been overweight. I was 12 when I went straight from chubby size kid's clothing to size 12-14 women's clothing and grew (out) from there. I can only speak from that, but I agree with Leigh,

its never easy no matter where you are coming from to not love the way you look and feel.

 

[slimby43]

i have been very slim. in my 20`s i was 8 stone and a uk size 8 - 10. apart from my close family there is virtually no-one who knew me thin and now as fat (we moved 200 miles and i lost contact). so when my friends see the fat me thats all they have ever known. i am very conscious ( even have dreams)though of going back to old haunts and bumping into someone i knew from the old days and what their reaction would be.
some people do judge you on purely how you look. ive noticed before i started losing weight i was invisible to a lot of people. now ive lost a fair amount the same people acknowledge and talk to me. slim

 

[kilauea]

Sadly your weight does have a significant effect on how people interact with you. In high school, I had to create my own "claim to fame" if you will in order to get people to "notice" me. (I put notice in quotations because I KNOW they noticed me, I'm pretty hard to, you know, miss).

I agree with you and I think its better for people who have been overweight their whole lives to lose a bunch of weight. Think, once you look great all the people that you've known every day for so long will notice the change and think "Wow! Kilauea thats great!" instead of "Oh gee you're finally looking like what you used to look like, its about time."

However, it really doesn't matter. To me, being overweight has allowed me to pick my friends better. People who are going to look at me and not want to be friends with me because of the way I look are people I don't even want as friends.

 

[Titanic Explore]

I used to be thin- i used to be an avid runner- so i know what it feels like to be fit- and I desperatly miss that feeling- that boundless energy that now seems worlds away-
More often then not a person's fitness affects how they look at themselves- a person in shape is more apt to have a higer self esteem than a person who is 150 pounds overweight...
And both women and men are drawn to people who have high self esteem and likewise are not as apt to be drawn to pople who are always down on themselves.....

 

[*2BFIT*]

I work in a surgical weight loss practice, and I can tell you that fat people that become thin are also rejected many times by their friends and family members. Many people will have trouble with others trying to sabotage their efforts to become healthy. Our society uses eating as a social activity. If a person tries to change their lifestyle and their circle of friends or family are not on board, or don't want to change themselves, they are all of a sudden on their own.

It seems no matter if you gain drastic weight, or lose it there will always be someone there to ridicule.

 

[kilauea]

Our society uses eating as a social activity.

This is most definitely true. In my particular diet, I allow myself so many calories per day. My family (My mother on one side and and my in-laws on the other) go out to eat a LOT. In the past 2 weeks, between the 2 groups, I've gone out to eat nearly every day because its just how we socialize. However, its important to realize that even though this is the case, I've lost weight. If you take the time to know where you're going to eat, and still take it in moderation, I think you can do fine and even keep up your socialization.

I think a lot of people face problems when they force their lifestyle change on the others around them. Its a very complex social situation and, yeah, most people don't like change. The thing that bothers me the most, though, is when people hear that you're going to start managing your weight and they decide "Yeah! I'm going to do it too! Lets do it together!" and then they fall out of it and try to get you to go back with them, sort of as "permission" for them to fail.

 

[*2BFIT*]

The thing that bothers me the most, though, is when people hear that you're going to start managing your weight and they decide "Yeah! I'm going to do it too! Lets do it together!" and then they fall out of it and try to get you to go back with them, sort of as "permission" for them to fail.

I completely agree!! I hate it when that happens.