Defects + General Rants from a fat man.

[StuBear]

Hi, long time member, seldom visitor.

Apologies in advance if this is deemed "too long" or "whiny", then again I don't really expect all that many people to read this, let alone post a reply to this...

Due to weighing 23 stone 6 lbs at the age of 19, it is easy to say that weight issues have factored as a major part of my life. The problem is, I see myself as a defective human being. The fact that I keep shovelling terrible food into my mouth and knowing of the reprecussions, but yet continue to do so for that small buzz of satisfaction.

I acknowledge that this is my fault, I will not blame fast food companies, I will not blame supermarkets for selling these food at a low price, it is my fault for buying it.

I cannot find the motivation to lose this weight. I haven't suffered any traumatic or embarressing experiences due to this, I do not get ridiculed by my peers, they actually are really friendly, and my weight serves to be somewhat of an "invisible elephant". The only person who would make reference to my weight and poke fun at it, is myself, but that is usually disguised as a form of self depricating humour.

Being fat has restricted me from doing things that I would love to do, dress a certain way, skateboard, go to gigs, go to the city and actually socialise with people that l do not know from my town etc. All seem like little things, but stuff that I would love to do.

Also, this has affected my love life, which is non existent, due to the fact that I will not accept the fact that a girl would accept me, due to the fact that I could not accept myself...

Also, my scheduale is quite packed, which does not help me pursue exercise, I have college and what not. Also, the thoughts of going to the gym early in the morning and escaping from bed is usually a bad one, but then later on in the day, you start to regret it.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I would like to do a weight loss plan incognito. I do not want people from my town to know I am doing this, so this would mean early morning gyms, secretive walks. I just do not want to put expectations out there and then crumble like I normally do.

Would any of you know any good workout motivation and general motivation, cause I can't take it anymore. It is almost as if self loathing disallows me to do anything about being obese.

Feedback would be greatly appreciated. For those that have read this rant, thank you. I have to get ready for class.

 

[AthalaRanger]

This is an interesting reflection. I found some old pictures of myself the other day and was thinking something similar.

I can relate a bit to you... I'm only 16 years old, but I have been incredibly overweight since very little. I made several attempts at losing weight, but they were lousy ones. No one would really bother with what I ate, but I'm not blaming other people. An aunt of mine did talk about the subject a few times, but I didn't listen, as I was offended by it.

And I never made a serious attempt at it. I would always delay for another day, or start neglecting things and give up. Even though I was incredibly miserable, I would always give up or delay things. Keep in mind that I weighed around 90 Kg at ages 13 - 14.

On my case, I was very traumatized and embarrassed by it. When I started a serious attempt at changing things for the first time, It was already too late. I went through a big emotional breakdown on 2011, and it wasn't until two years later, that I'm now focused and committed to the task of losing weight.

Now, what I was thinking as I was watching my old pictures was: "Why didn't I do anything before?" I didn't do anything until I was very affected by it, and I started to question whether I would had done something if certain "events" didn't happen, and I was not affected.

I hope you can start this journey for yourself... As for the incognito thing, you could try exercising at home instead of a gym. but walking would be a good start.

I can't help you with motivation, as mine is basically fear... This was (and continues to be) my favorite motivational quote;

I can't really do anything for you... But I wish you good luck.

 

[kal-el1]

Hey buddy,

Kal-El here, 26m 185lbs (down from 200lbs).

I was just looking great till my 23rd year, and year 24/25 were when I sat my ass of in this cool job which really ate all my time (I was willing to work 24/7) and the consequence was that I put on a lot of weight. About 35 lbs to be exact. I am just struggling to take it off of me. I did start good sessions but relapsed a week or so into it or I would just get sick(illness) and would be forced to stop and would not get the motivation to start off later. Recently I coughed up the courage to start it again despite the fact that I might run into a disaster again. I am sorta expecting a disaster that would make me stop this run too. I know it is stupid, but I have failed many number of times. I am just putting everything on this baby this time. Come what may. I replied to you because I just want to do this incognito too. I came up with this plan of bicycling at night time. At odd hours. Like I start at 11, and go around or out of town till like 12.30am or so and then return back, I love this because I will be off like 10 miles or so just at the outskirts of the town and I know that I have to now get back home, so it is like a free 1.5 hours of workout for free, without a way to stop. It is like me cheating myself. he he. So, as I was saying, I have done this for 3 days in the past week. I have started a journal too.This is my way of not letting people know am doing it. Seriously, If I tell them, I feel like shit once I relapse to the no workout way of life. I just want this to be my little secret. I really am feeling better now. I hope I would fly out at least this time. I recommend you try and pick a workout (cardio, totally), eat properly and then take it to the middle of the night. Two hours solid. That should give you some peace. Start now, there is no good time to start, everything is on your ass all the time, I know. You gotta start buddy. Just start. Morning gyms are good for early birds. I used to be one but then I got some issues with gym (tendonitis, neck sprain, got a bit scary and I didn't love it after some point). I thought I would just cardio my way out of obesity and then get back to gym. It is always there. Are you an early bird?, do not put too much stress on yourself, if you are not an early bird, the early morning gym things is not for you. Are they open after 9pm?, you can try that. 9-10.30 or something. Why the gym? in particular?.

Pick and choose one of the many ways to cardio and try and get it done around midnight. 11 - 1?, optimize your diet and your day around this. You are golden.