I wanna get this out there because I can't really talk to anyone else about it....
I swear to god man...... my father just kills my motivation. My Father was a All-American in Wrestling back in his day (around the 70's). He failed college so he never got the chance to go the pros. He also has like some kind of learning disorder or some ****.
I wanna get one thing straight. I play football because I enjoy it. I have no plans for college football; after highschool I'm done. It helps me stay out of trouble (unlike all the other druggies in my neighborhood), it keeps me active, and I like being with my friends. My father on the other hand is some stupid mother****er trying to live his dreams through me. He thinks about me going to the pros and **** (WTF?).
So he is just a major buzz kill. He even believes last year someone injured my ankle on purpose because they feared I was taking there starting spot.
I'm driving home today and hes like "well looks like your friends getting a starting spot this year, he's at team camp, maybe you should be there". (Hes done this **** about a thousand times). Of course this pisses me off. (I didn't go to team camp because I work to pay for gas and groceries, that fat mother****er has the nerve to steal my money to pay for gas when hes buying junk food all the damn time). I CAN"T ****ING STAND HIM. He destroys my motivation to lift, to play football, to do anything. I CAN"T STAND HIM.. I SWEAR TO ****ING GOD; SOMETIMES MAN.............
Today I was just lifting out of anger...normally on split jerks with 120 I can only get 120 for 3x3 well I got it for 10 sets. Then the rest of the workout was just whatever. I stopped after 2 rows because I didn't feel like going anymore (ran out of mad steam I guess)
I just needed to get this out. I'm still mad. I don't wanna talk to this mother****er again. Even when I get injured he just calls me ****y and **** "well I never get injured" well I guess so you 6'6 300 pound fat mother****er.
He has no respect for my decisions. I told him all this above and how hes living his **** through me and he just tells me to hush up.....
anyhow heres my diet today:
Calories 3966
Fat 207
Carb 314
Pro 203
wasnt suppose to get that many calories but today I just don't care. I don't think I'm gonna care tommorow either or the next day after that. I wanna do things for myself not for my father. I finnally stood up to him today and I was just shot down. I can't believe the ignorance of my own father.....
I need to lift to better myself. Not for my father, not for my football team, not for girls, no one. For me. I think this is what is killing my motivation.