Calling all Moms...Help!

Korrie

Korrie

Moderator
Oh guys, I feel SOO overwhelmed right now! Seriously I just need a good cry. But after that I need some real help.....so heres the prob.....

You all know I have 2 girls, one 7 and one 19 mths. My little one is SOOO over the top, she is ALWAYS yelling or hitting. She won't hold still for a sec. I'm talking you can't even read a book to her or rock her b/c she is just throwing herself everywhere! She is so aggressive!! I have 2 little nieces that are so scared of her b/c she pulls hair and hits. I have tried soo many times to get her to stop hitting but she will not stop. She breaks EVERYTHING!! Glass, eggs on the floor, she'll pick up a glass of water and pour it all over my books and such. It just seems like she is so out of control and I can't do anything to calm her down.

And theres my poor 7 yr old. Who went from the center of our lives, to the back burner b/c of this over the top baby. I feel sooo awful for her. Not only does she not get time with us anymore, but I'm always yelling at her b/c I'm just so frusterated. She doesnt' deserve this.

THEN....there's my hubby, who works, and b/c of that uses it as a ticket to get out of any and all work around the house or the kids. I'm talking he does NOTHING!! I've almost left him a few times b/c of it. Theres too much work for me to do it on my own, but he just doesn't get it.

Help me girls, any suggestions??
 
First of all honey take a deep breath, go to your room and have a darn good cry. It won’t help the situation but it sure will let you have 1 moment to your self. Is there any reason for her to react this way, dose she do it for attention? If I was you I would take her to the doctors… im not saying she has ADD or anything like that but she may have alleges to food or cleaning products that she is around. Its surprising what these things can do to kids and there behavior. If the doctor finds that there is nothing wrong with her then maybe you will have to find a way to discipline her for the action. I have to tell you im not really comfortable with giving advice on kids because I no how protective us mums can get; I just didn’t want to leave you hanging on this one. As for the hubby I think its time you and he sat down and had a chat, don’t let him just leave you with this, he is there father and its time he started acting like it.
 
This is probably all resolved by now, but man do i know what you mean!!! my daughter is 2 and she has an attitude all ready, hits screams bites, you try and be firm an consistant with the parenting, but it doesnt do a darn bit of diffrence.(and then you start to wonder what ppl think of your parenting skills lol) she draws on the walls, gets into the fridge and dumps stuff everywhere and of course hubby with the "well where were you werent you watching her?" argh get a clue! id need 100 eyes and 20 arms to be able to be super mom and do everything all at once! :confused: my 6 yr old had us to him self for 4 yrs before she came along and there are days where hell ask that we put her back lol.
lets just say alot of parents deal with the same thing your dealing with(i know i am lol and i choose to think im not the only one)Rose is right have a talk with your H he should know how you feel about this. as for your daughter shell grow out of it??? :confused: its what they tell me(so not what i want to hear lol) i use 1-2-3 magic as a parenting tool, took the class when it was suggested to me by my pediatrician(my son has been tested for Adhd and apparently he has it)it works well for me most of the time. they know when we get to 3 theres a time out so its not to much of a struggle. even my 2yr old gets it(as well as any 2 y/o could)
hope everything is better now though :)
 
1-2-3 magic totally works! I've been using it since Allyson could understand words. LOL
She had her moments a few years back. You just have to remember, do not add numbers like 1 and 1/2 or 2 and 3/4.... and when you get to three you most definately always have to give them a timeout. They respond way better to timeouts than spankings, at least Allyson did. Although she did get her fair share of both! I'm with Rosered, "I have to tell you im not really comfortable with giving advice on kids because I no how protective us mums can get,".... but see if you can find some sort of class like 1.2.3. I found ours at Allyson School. It was during school hours and they even offered day care if you had little ones. Hopefully they have something like that by you. It was a 3 day course, one day a week. Maybe you can get info for it at your library or online.
Other than that. I'm Sorry!
And hun, You totally need a break. Maybe get a sitter for one night, at least, and take a bath, take a nap, relax. Don't do a damn thing. You'll enjoy it, and you well deserve it.
My Hubby (well fiance) works all day too. When he comes home... NOTHING !
I cut the grass, clean the house, take out the trash, take care of the kids and all the animals, run for all the arrands, do all the shopping. We have lived here over a month now and we can ot park a car in the garage cause he has yet to organize it. My dad got sick of seeing it like that, so when he was here visiting last weekend he started cleaning! That pushed Phil to work some, but thats it.....
So I dunno what to do with the men. They will always say "I work all day, when you get a full time job, then I'll help" yeah right......
Try talking with him. Try 1.2.3. with him LOL J/J
 
Hey that great guys. Honestly, I sometimes feel like Emma is the only one that acts that way. You know? Like no one understands what I"m going through, but it really sounds like you guys do. I really appreicate the help.

Yes, the emotional part of my post is over, but we'll have problems with the baby for a while I'm predicting. What exactly is 123, I've never heard of it. I'll have to check around and see if they have classes here.

We wonder if she is hooked on sugar, and if that has anything to do with her behavior. Supernanny always talks about that. Emma is hooked on these 'icy' things, you know, kool aid in a tube, and you freeze it. Anyways, she has to have them and she throws a HUGE fit if I say no. I bet those are loaded with sugar.

"why weren't you watching her" lol, omg, it sounds like we have the same hubby. Mine likes to say "why did you let her do it" I didn't LET her! Its soo frusterating! I really wouldn't mind that he didn't help me with stuff around the house if he had a full time job, but he works 4 hrs a day! teaching guitar even. Then he's off with his buddies playing all weekend. He tells me "its work" COME ON! Work is being stuck in the house with 2 kids day after day.

So thanks alot girls for your help, I'm just going to try to take things one day at a time and pray alot that she grows out of it.
 
Oh good im not the only one who uses this lol heres a little about it all i could find on it for now but it should give you an idea



oooo freezies it could be giving her highs and lows. she gets very energetic then crashes and gets cranky (happens with my son we have to keep an eye on what he eats he does this)

tell me about it i get "well when you get a real job then ill help out more" argh men***my boot his butt***lol

all you can do is take it one day at a time, sure cant trade em in lol :p but it be easier if they came with some sort of hand book when they were born :confused: lol
 
The key to effective parenting...

Morning,

As a mom of 4, I've discovered that the key to effective parenting is to:

1.) Set boundaries
2.) Instill consequences if boundaries are crossed
3.) Stay firm and consistent
4.) *Not* be their friend

My experience is that kids both need and want boundaries. They don't need or want me as their friend; I'm far and away above that! I'm Mom. The one on whom they depend.

So as Mom, I have to take the role of, I have 43 years of experience, this is how things will be. Period, end of discussion (especially when the kids are young; as they get older, of course you increase the communications). You want to complain, fine, here's the structure in which you can (ie, go to your room, scream there, etc.etc.etc.). You want to push boundaries, here's the consequences you will experience. And don't even try to whine your way out, because life doesn't work that way whatsoever.

I think I'd be doing my kids a vast disservice if I allow them to get away with hitting, bad behavior, etc.....because life will always produce someone stronger and more aggressive than you who will have no problem kicking your rear to the corner. My kids' friends call me Mean Mommy Ling because I'm so strict...but you know what? I'm always the parent around whom they gather whenever I show up in their midst.

Parenting will only get more and more challenging as the kids get older; setting the boundaries in stone TODAY is critical for helping smoother sailing occur later on in years.

Regarding siblings and such, here are some useful resources:







Lots of empathy,

Barbara
 
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