Bullying at the gym? Have you ever came across people like this?

H

heavyman26

New member
I never thought I would see the day. I get it, being over weight is a major turn off. For the people who are over weight and go to the gym we are there for a reason. We are trying to lose weight and better ourselves. I personally don't do it for anybody but myself. It's not like I go to the gym and pay attention to what other people are doing I go to get a good work out and challenge myself. The way I see it if you do pay attention to what other people are doing you aren't getting a proper work out and doing something wrong.


I even go at 5 am to avoid a busy crowd so I can always get on the machines I want and to be honest I am not that comfortable working out when it is busy. You would think the gym is the last place that people are going to make fun of somebody with a weight problem.


This girl that goes at the same time as me has been making fun of me to her friend during my work out saying that I am a fat ass and criticizing me when im trying to work out. I don't stop my work out just because of her but it is really upsetting me. I have a hard enough time going there as it is and I used to actually enjoy my workouts but because of this girl I am no longer able to enjoy it.


Im not going to change my routine just because she says things like I am disgusting and laughs at me when I work out. She doesn't even say it to my face she says it to her friend. I got a real problem with people like this and it is hard to be positive in that kind of situation. This girl is like 100 pounds she has no idea what it is like to be fat at all and it is none of her business what I do at the gym anyways. It is just ridiculous she seems to have a bigger problem about my weight than even me! I just started getting my confidence back only to have somebody take shots at me and bring me down all over again. Whatever though, im not quitting, I will continue to drop pounds and I hope somebody gives her as hard a time as she has been giving me. I do believe in karma and at the end of the day she defeats herself.
 
Keep it up HeavyMan26...Success is the sweetest revenge!!
 
How old is this girl? I know when I used to go to the gym, I was always suspicious that people were judging me until I realized that no one really cared as long as I wasn't in their way (i.e., legitimately using the equipment to exercise, not as a social club).


You can always call her out on it. Not in a pissy way, just ask "Is there something wrong?" Or mention it to the front desk as a concerned party. Or just stare at her whenever she does it. Some people just don't know what it means to have to work for something, I suspect she's one of them.


Anyway, don't let her win. Like you said, you're doing it for you, not her.
 
First of all, good for you for not letting this prevent you working out, and doing your thing! What a horrible thing to endure, I am disappointed that she would say something so negative in a place which should be all about positive changes and perceptions of your body. These problems are hers, and not yours.
 
I've had that happen twice, with two different people. And every time it happened, I walked up to the guy, looked him straight into his eyes and said "I don't appreciate the way you're talking about me, and I ask you to stop", after which I turned around and went on to continue my workout, without waiting for an answer. They never bothered or talked about me again.
I'm sure you could handle the situation in a similar way.

Bullies in general don't expect a direct confrontation or show of confidence from their victims. It throws them off and they look for another victim.
 
Yes I have. As a teenager I went to a gym and found that the only way I would really get my cardio up was by running on the treadmill. Well, a couple of people made certain comments about how 'everything' jiggled when I ran among other various nasty comments and me being a teenage girl with low self esteem and a weight problem I stopped going to the gym and pretty much let them win. I finally got up the courage after I moved out of state to go to a gym again. At first I was VERY self conscious and thought that everyone was judging me and staring at me. But everyone who I went to the gym with kept reassuring me that the gym had a very strict no judgement policy and eventually I got up the courage to run again on the treadmill and it felt even better when people would actually go by and give me a thumbs up or an encouraging comment or a smile that just said 'good job, keep it up'.
Now though, I wish I had said something to the people at the first gym who were making comments, because at least I was at the gym trying to improve myself and get into shape rather than just sitting at home eating Cheetos dipped in ice cream.
 
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Yes.. And I hate top say I let them win.. And I hate it. Hopefully some day I can get the courage to go again... For now I do my work out at home.
 
You didn't let them win. The only time you'd let them win is if you stopped bettering yourself because of this act.
 
Thats sad, don't they have something better to talk about? I often find when people bully others it's because they aren't happy with themselves. When my sister was extremely sick I would often hear people say that she was anorexic or bulimic, even though she was in a wheel chair ( she was 78lbs at her smallest) It saddened me because they had nothing better to talk about, and instead had to upset a very sick person. I've never had a problem with anyone at a gym, but if I did, or even witnessed someone saying something about another, I would make a point to say something.
never let them get you down! At least you are doing something about your problem, The best revenge is to show them that their hurtful comments wont affect your routine.
 
I can't say I've ever had this happen to me. However, I've been hit on by another guy. That's always fun when you like girls. lol
 
Use this as extra motivation (don't let her win) Don't understand people like this, what do they get from acting this way? if it gets too much maybe mention something to her, you don't need to be aggressive or anything but don't let people like this stop you from working out
 
Hello Heavyman26,

It's good to hear that you didn't giveup at the time when the girl keep on frustrating you. I only want to tell you one thing i.e. ignore these type of people and keep on doing what you want to do. Never get demotivated because of others. Goodluck for a great workout in future.

Regards
Caleb Farmer
 
In years past, I have spent a lot of time in various Gyms. To avoid conflict, I would change my times and found that helped a lot.

But over all - Keeping focused on your own goals is the best way to avoid fueling those that thrive on bullying others. Twice I complained out of sheer disgust and was pleasantly surprised to see management deal effectively with the problem. A well respected gym appreciates knowing who the trouble makers are and only to happy to assist. Of course not every gym is the same when it comes to respect.

Long story short - for me ... best metaphor I can share is, "There is no winners or looses, if you don't jump in the ring." trouble makers like that only reveal themselves all the more, when no mind is given. Any decent gym would have other members complaining if they would seek to persist badgering those who only wish to use the Gym.

I'm glad I only need minimal equipment to get me by.
 
Ugh, I hate people like that. If they say it to my face at least I can throw back some retort and shut them up, but talking like that just end up chipping at you little by little. I have to say I'm a self-conscious introvert, I'm very conscious of others and my sweaty smell and hate the fact my boobs jiggle.

What made exercise more enjoyable for me was some pretty and fitted clothe that makes me feel good and some good music to block things out. It's easy to be obsessed with what others think, but at end of the day they don't know you and they don't care about you, so positive thoughts about yourself is worth your time more than negative thoughts about them.
 
That's so horrible when people go to the gym to bully others. The gym is a place to go to better yourself in a healthy, stress free way. For people to go there to criticize others that are there working out means they aren't there for the right reason and are just jealous that you know how to work out and take care of yourself. I hate bullying in general. It's not the mall where you socialize with people, it's a place to workout and be in the zone with what you're doing. So if that girl was too busy looking at you and talking about you than she isn't confident with herself.

So just focus on yourself and keep positive thoughts in your mind. Negative people like that aren't worth your time, or anyone's time. This is why I go to Planet Fitness where there are people of all shapes and ages who are there to better themselves and don't care about what anyone around them is wearing or doing. I feel so comfortable anytime I go workout...I put on my headphones and put all my energy into my workouts. So remember that next time you're at the gym.
 
That is true. If people does not have anything nice to say to you, then they need to keep their opinions to themselves. Whenever I am out for a walk or exercising I greet others as I would want to be greeted. I have made a lot of good friends that way. People who are negative never accomplish their goals. life is to short to let those type of people bother you. Be yourself and be Happy.
 
Ashley Jones said:
That's so horrible when people go to the gym to bully others. The gym is a place to go to better yourself in a healthy, stress free way. For people to go there to criticize others that are there working out means they aren't there for the right reason and are just jealous that you know how to work out and take care of yourself. I hate bullying in general. It's not the mall where you socialize with people, it's a place to workout and be in the zone with what you're doing. So if that girl was too busy looking at you and talking about you than she isn't confident with herself.

So just focus on yourself and keep positive thoughts in your mind. Negative people like that aren't worth your time, or anyone's time. This is why I go to Planet Fitness where there are people of all shapes and ages who are there to better themselves and don't care about what anyone around them is wearing or doing. I feel so comfortable anytime I go workout...I put on my headphones and put all my energy into my workouts. So remember that next time you're at the gym.
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I love planet fitness!! It is the gym I use too and it has nothing but a positive and friendly atmosphere!
 
Ebaz, from what I understand is that Planet Fitness is very hypocrital in that they are extremely judgemental against anybody who has a reasonable amount of muscle, I have a lot of online friends who have had very bad experiences with this chain.
 
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