Blah... relationships!

[ClareBear1]

Okay so where to start me and my partner have been together for 3 years but the majority of it has been an online relationship, i paid out to get on a train to go see her and the first night being there was amazing we was both really happy then things switch and she wont hardly talk to me.. we talked and she said its because she suffers with bipolar and anxiety and shes going through a bad time with it right now but when she is on the phone to her sisters or talking online to her friends she is fine... =/ i find this VERY confusing...

we spoke about everything the other night she told me that if she didn't want to be with me or had anything against me she wouldn't stay in the relationship.. i really don't know what to think and im finding it hard to let it go over the top of my head.. im determined for things to work but im not sure if she feels the same! anyone else been through anything like this ? i need some advice!!

I think there should be a main thread about relationships i have seen it on other forums (bodybuilding.com) and it seems pretty successful and sometimes its good to rant about that s**t lol.

p.s im sorry if you're a homophobe lol

 

[Tik]

Hey there!

I have found my diary to be a great place to vent my frustrations about my past relationship!!

As for your relationship...I think it's important to maintain a sense of self in a relationship- whether it's at the beginning, middle, or end!

If you put all the effort into this relationship, and are not getting anything back, do you think that's right?

Mind you, I don't know the details or anything...but a relationship is based on communication, giving/receiving, and compromises. You can't be the only one putting effort into staying connected, it's not fair- nor are you being kind to yourself!

When was the last time she visited you? Or put effort into making you feel loved, appreciated, and cared for?

Having been unhappy in a relationship for several years, I look back and wish I would have sat myself down, evaluated my situation, and then been truthful to myself- if I had, I wouldn't have wasted the last few years in it!

 

[kayleejburgess]

Okay so where to start me and my partner have been together for 3 years but the majority of it has been an online relationship, i paid out to get on a train to go see her and the first night being there was amazing we was both really happy then things switch and she wont hardly talk to me.. we talked and she said its because she suffers with bipolar and anxiety and shes going through a bad time with it right now but when she is on the phone to her sisters or talking online to her friends she is fine... =/ i find this VERY confusing...

we spoke about everything the other night she told me that if she didn't want to be with me or had anything against me she wouldn't stay in the relationship.. i really don't know what to think and im finding it hard to let it go over the top of my head.. im determined for things to work but im not sure if she feels the same! anyone else been through anything like this ? i need some advice!!

I think there should be a main thread about relationships i have seen it on other forums (bodybuilding.com) and it seems pretty successful and sometimes its good to rant about that s**t lol.

p.s im sorry if you're a homophobe lol

Every situation is different but I have been through some difficulties myself. It's hard to tell someone what to do so I'm just going to share my experience and perhaps you can learn from it.

I met my husband online 2 and a half years ago. I lived in Ontario and he lived in Kentucky. We immediately hit it off and we were best friends for a while. We were both dating other people. When my relationship ended I turned to him for support. I quickly realized that I was in love with my best friend and I asked him to marry me. He visited me in Canada for 3 days during which time he gave me a ring and we became officially engaged. It was the best 3 days of my life. I couldn't have been happier.

When he went back to Kentucky, everything was great for a while. I later visited him and we eloped. Everything was amazing. We were thrilled. Then I returned to Canada to resume work and get the visa paperwork started and things started to change. He was distant and it became harder and harder to get in touch with him. A few weeks later, I found out that he was cheating on me with various people. I was heartbroken. I confronted him and he asked for a divorce but I wouldn't let that happen. I knew we loved each other very much and I just had to hold onto what we had left and make it work.

I returned to the U.S. to try to fix things. It wasn't easy but I was determined to keep our marriage going. He was stubborn but I tried my best. Eventually things worked out and we've now been married for 2 years. We're happier than I would have ever imagined!

So what I'm trying to say is this: you have to decide how badly you want this relationship to work. You have to be the one to stay or walk away. If you love her enough, you'll try. If she truly loves you then she will open up and talk to you about what is going on. I believe that if it's meant to be it will be. Sometimes you have to fight for the things you want.

 

[Pixie87]

My relationship is mostly online. Actually it's completely an online thing though we have met. He is in the US I'm in australia so it's one of those it takes quite a few months to save and fly since well over 1k a ticket is alot.

When we saw each other for the first time (nov 2010 about 1.5 years into the relationship) we hit it off we are both shy and it took us about 2 hours to warm up to the situation and then we were inseparable for the entire time he was around. I fell even more in love with him during that week and a half. But when he left I felt like it was a break up and I was distant for about 2 weeks as i plummeted into a very deep depression about it all. I have severe depression and mood swings where even though I love my guy with all my heart. Sometimes I just can't handle being around him. He understands that I have issues and the instant I let him in and tell him how I feel and what I'm going through he tries to help. He was amazing support once he knew what was going on. I could tell he was angry and frustrated at me during that time.

If she is anything like me she could be just scared. Friends and relatives for me I find easier to fake my feelings around but my guy it's impossible to fake he can sense me faking happiness instantly.

I would say keep fighting and show her how much she means to you and support her and if you can be persistent (but not annoying) enough and supportive enough she might just open up to you and let you into her rough patch. But just know it's scary in a rough patch.