Biancas Diary

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BiancaMaria

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Hi,
I am new to this forum. I need to keep myself accountable to finally reach my goals. I hope to give and receive support here.
I will start with answering some of the suggested questions and try to update my diary daily.

Starting Weight: 132 lbs

-- How much weight do you want to lose?
10 lbs (122lbs)

-- What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight?
10 weeks (2/4/2019)

-- How do you want to accomplish your goal (what methods do you want to use)?
exercise and clean diet (daily calorie reduction of 500kcal)
maybe water fasting at some point for 1-3 days if I plateau

-- Who or what can support you in reaching your goal?
having this support group to discuss any problems and lack of motivation/frustration

-- How realistic is your goal?
it will be very hard but it is doable

-- When will you start?
today


  1. What is your current height and weight?
    132 lbs
  2. If you were at an ideal weight now, what would that weight be?
    122 lbs
  3. At what weight would you like to be at four months from now?
    122 lbs
  4. Why do you want to lose weight?
    constant battle with food and constant dieting (always going back). Want to end it once and for all.
  5. Do you want to lose weight for a specific life event such as wedding or reunion? If so, when is that event?
    I want to loose it in general but yes, I will get married soon.
  6. What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss goals?
    emotional eating, going out and having cheat meals (to go overboard because of a all-or-nothing mentality)
  7. Why do you think that you now have a weight problem?
    Have a history of binge eating and emotional eating since over 10 years
  8. What lifestyle changes do you think would help you lose weight?
    working out and moving daily no matter what-->improves mood
    getting enough sleep
    eating as healthy as possible (if I am not able to, that I do not go overboard)
  9. Have you lost weight in the past? If so, what has worked in the past to help you lose weight?
    Yes. Exercise. Lots of veggies and soup. Keeping busy.
  10. Why do you believe that you did not lose weight or you gained the weight back?
    emotional eating, going out a lot, weighting daily, counting kcals
  11. What, if anything, has not worked for you in the past in helping you to lose weight? Why do you think it did not work?
    chewing gum or drinking diet soda, having just one XY of this.., counting kcals
  12. Would you try writing down all food and drink consumed for a given period of time?
    yes, but unsure if it works
  13. Do you cook at home often? If so, what do you cook?
    yes. But BF wants to cook all the time.
  14. How often do you go out to eat? Where do you go?
    1-2 times a week. Fancy restaurant or dinner invitations
  15. What are your three favorite foods?
    lasagne, pizza, chocolate in any form
  16. What are your three favorite restaurants?
    pizza place, italian, makino sushi
  17. What are three things you can do differently when it comes to food?
    - have no seconds
    -eat slowly
    -sit down for eating without distractions
  18. If you woke up tomorrow and your body was exactly the way you want it, what would be different?
    I would feel more comfortable in my skin, wear old clothes, not feel bad about my appearance
  19. Do you eat when you are not hungry?
    yes
  20. Do you binge eat (large amounts at a time)?
    yes
  21. Do you hide your food or eat in secret?
    yes
  22. Do you eat when you are sad, nervous, or depressed?
    yes
  23. Do you eat as a reward?
    yes, but not always
  24. Do you eat while watching TV or using the computer?
    sometimes while using the computer (not while watching TV)
  25. What do you normally eat for a meal?
    meat and veggies
  26. What type of snacks do you eat?
    nuts, yogurt, eggs, meat, fruit
  27. In terms of exercise, what, if anything, are you currently doing?
    cardio & weightlifing
  28. Where do you go for exercise? A local public gym? School/work gym? Home?
    home
  29. What, if anything, are your three favorite types of exercise?
    running, hiking, weightlifting
  30. What is your daily/weekly/monthly/yearly motivation to move towards your goals?
    daily: feel better and confident
    weekly: see results
    monthly: be proud of myself for sticking to my goals
    yearly: be free of my worries about my appearance
  31. Do you have rewards for certain goals?
    buying new clothes
 
Welcome to the forum :)
 
Hi, Bianca & welcome to the forum. I find working on building self-esteem is one of the biggest issues in this battle with weight-loss. Often it's not about what we weigh or how we look to others, but how we see ourselves. If you work on that you will be well on the way to being the person you want to be. Hope you like it here, cheers, Cate.
 
Hi Cate,

Thanks so much for those kind words. I agree. I am not so about the number on the scale but how I feel and after overeating and gaining weight, I do not feel good. I would be fine if 132lbs is the weight I am supposed to be but not because I know I weight so much because of overeating and binge eating. I need to built a healthier relationship with food and be confident even if I am heavier than I would like to be.

I managed to eat a normal portion of pizza today for lunch with my BF. I stopped and now I am back in the forum rather than keep eating which I usually do. I am not eating pizza every day- its kind of a treat. I know it won't hurt me if I eat a normal portion and that never was an issue.

Lets see how i do for the next hours

XO
 
Facts for today:

Workout: 45min Running, 1 hour weight lifting
Calories consumed: about 2300 +/- 200 kcal (had pizza and estimated calories)
Meal timing: spread out throughout the entire day
Last meal: 7 pm

Mood: :oops: (neutral)
Hunger: Yes, weird after having eaten quite a lot

Goals for tomorrow:
- Switching to 3 meals only
- Cardio only for about 30-50 minutes (long work day)
- keep calories below 1500 (phu- prepared breakfast/lunch and is about 850kcal- room for big dinner)
 
Hi, Bianca. Starchy carbs, like pizza, almost always leave me hungry in no time at all. Protein, which I almost always eat with vegetables, either raw or cooked, on the other hand, is very filling & sustains me for much longer.
 
Thanks cate,
Yes I know! Its not an everyday meal- rather every two weeks or so. I should be fine and be okay with my meals tomorrow. I try to eat less tomorrow and see how it goes.
Do you count calories?
I want to find a way to figure out what I can eat and how much it is approximately and maybe do not have to count anymore after a while- but I will see how it goes.

I probably step on the scale tomorrow or Tuesday. I used to weight in everyday but I am unsure if that is smart. I started to reduce to once a week.
 
Weighing once a week at roughly the same time I think is best. If you can get away with not counting calories I say go with that. If the changes do not result in weight-loss maybe count your calories for a week, just to see where you are going wrong. If you can make healthy changes & get results then you will set yourself up to not be obsessed about it & not have so many problems as you get older. Finding a healthy balance would be a wonderful thing. :)
 
Facts for today:
Workout: - (planned but came home to late and was very tired)
Calories consumed: about 1600kcal (100kcal over planned kcal)
Meal timing: 3 meals a day (9am, 2pm, 8pm)


Mood: good
Hunger: A little bit, mostly after eating- goes away

Goals for tomorrow:
- 3 meals only
- Cardio for about 20 minutes
- weight lifting legs
- keep calories below 1600 kcal (need to be realistic)
- weight myself in the morning and do not freak out about it
 
Facts for today:
Workout: HIIT for 30 minutes
Calories consumed:
about 2700kcal (OMG, I know...)
Meal timing: 2 meals a day (7:30am, 12:30-2:00pm)


Mood: disappointed about my slip (but I will learn from it and just don't do it again/prevent it..)
Hunger: fully stuffed
Issues: Went to lunch with colleague and the buffet was VERY unsatisfying. Started eating almonds with greek yoghurt like crazy.

Goals for tomorrow:
- 3 meals only
- keep calories below 1500 kcal (prepared breakfast and lunch (=1000kcal), if not hungry for dinner- skip it)
- cardio or weights (depending on how I feel)
 
Facts for today:
Workout: -
Calories consumed: about 1500kcal
Meal timing: 3 meals a day (8:00am, 2:30pm, 8:00pm)


Mood: good until I read some bad comments on my person on reddit
Hunger: yep
Issues: Want to eat after I read those to get comfort. Will make decaf with almond milk and cinnamon to calm down

Goals for tomorrow:
- 3 meals only
- keep calories below 1500 kcal
- cardio or weights (depending on how I feel)
 
Reddit can be vicious, don't worry to much about it. other than Reddit everything looks good so far.
 
Facts for today:
Workout: -
Calories consumed: not counted (binged all day)
Meal timing: -


Mood: absolutely down and depressed.
Hunger: no
Issues: Could not separate my emotions from eating. Felt down and wanted to feel better- binged :(

Goals for tomorrow:
- no food, drink coffee and water
 
Sending you a :grouphug:
Get off Reddit if people are mean. None of us needs that.
Here's another :grouphug: We are not mean.
Get back to eating well & looking after yourself, hon xoxo
 
I will! Thanks so much. I would not mind if those would just be random people but I have a teaching job and the comments were about myself and it might affect my job..
I did not actively search for it. I run into it by accident and today I just couldn't get myself to do anything besides trying to make me feel better with eating which had the exact opposite effect.

Well, I will fast until Saturday noon. I have the feeling I need a reset.
Thanks for the kind words:)
 
Facts for today:
Workout: 20 minutes running
Calories consumed: not counted
Meal timing: snacking from 9am - 2pm


Mood: huge mood swings (depressed- happy and back)
Hunger: no
Issues: once I start eating I could go on forever. Bought nuts that should last longer but ate them all at once

Goals for tomorrow:
- no food, water only (maybe tee or coffee)
- water fast day 1/7, will go until Saturday dinner
- 10 000 steps
 
Facts for today:
Workout: 1.5 hours running
Calories consumed: not counted but lunch with BF and snack afterwards
Meal timing: afternoon


Mood: minor mood swings and nervous
Hunger: yes, until eating and afterwards: urges but did not give in
Issues: urges

Goals for tomorrow:
- no food, water only (maybe tee or coffee)
- water fast day 1/7, will go until Saturday/Sunday
- 10 000 steps
 
Facts for today:
Workout: -
Calories consumed: ~60
Meal timing: morning (coffee with cream)


Mood:good
Hunger: no
Issues: very tired in the morning- could not get out of bed. decided to have coffee to get me going (not supposed to be part of my fast)

Goals for tomorrow:
- no food, water only (maybe tee or coffee)
- (water) fast day 2/7, will go until Saturday/Sunday
- 10 000 steps
 
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