Back again...3 years later.

ChocolateBunny

ChocolateBunny

Active member
Just like the title, I am back again almost an exact 3 years later. I feel I've matured a lot in my perspective on health and weightloss(and in many other ways). I'm much more gentle on my self-image and I'm careful not to push myself to unrealistic goals so soon. I didn't realize that when I joined that my son was not even a year old yet.

After a much needed breakup and leaving a toxic job, I'm ready to be my best self, for myself. I work at a health community center now. My first week on the job will be next week, November 4th. I'm excited, I get free access to a swimming pool, gym, raquetball area, sauna, basketball court and a private place for me to do exercise and meditation alone. Because it's a community health center, there is also a lot of classes on health concerns, activities for children, lessons for things like swimming, andddd a daycare.

Anyway, I am now the highest weight I've ever been while not pregnant. I'm 160lbs(172.6kg) and I think I was 130lbs(59kg), 3 years ago. I don't know...I've noticed that over time, the more I tried to run to any goal that I had and not walk, the more I went nowhere. I become overwhelmed and paralyzed. In the end, I become hard on myself for failing and not even trying. That basically sums up all of my life at the moment: 24 years old (practically 25) and going nowhere. Shaming myself doesn't help, either.

I still have my own goals on what I would want to look like by the end of my weightloss, but I know that health is a never ending journey and that our bodies are much more than what they look like. I'm very happy with the state of my health and despite being overweight, I don't think I have any major health concerns and that's what matters. I'm very thankful for all the work my body has done and will continue to do.

I want to use every single day as an opportunity to live and grow, even if it's just by a tiny bit.
 
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Welcome back!
 
Starting this morning off with a simple breakfast. I have no specific fitness goals other than to become overall slimmer, faster, and stronger. So I won't be tracking my macronutrients nor calories just yet. I also want to ease myself into the groove of healthy eating. I don't cook so I'm not very creative in the kitchen. When I do cook, it often doesn't turn out how I would like and I end up throwing the food out even if I follow the recipe to a T. I would also love to start meal prepping. I will see how my budget and schedule looks once I actually start my new job and get paid.

Breakfast:
Two Eggs, 1 Slice of Toast w/Butter, and Cinnamon Apple Tea (no sugar)

I like the bread that I bought from the grocery store, its full of organic, whole wheat and oat ingredients. There are a variety of seeds as well. My only issue is that it had 5 grams of added sugar. It's okay for now.
 
Update for Saturday:
Lunch: a small bag of Doritos
Dinner: two "tamales"

They weren't actually tamales but it was something quick to eat. Fake tamales.

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Sunday:
Breakfast: two eggs over-hard, 1 slice of buttered toast
Lunch: Frozen, pre-sauced and cooked breaded chicken drumsticks and wings and tater tots.
Dinner: ...nothing?
Later that night, I woke up hungry and had some type of breakfast desert.

So these past two days I'm not very proud of, but I didn't really have any groceries and didn't feel like cooking, anyway. So, this was the result.
 
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I went grocery shopping today. I came up with a meal plan with ChatGPT. I'll come back and write it out later. I plan on cleaning out my refrigerator, organizing my groceries and meal prepping. I haven't had breakfast as of yet and it's 13:15 here, so I'm goiong to go eat something.
 
I ended up not eating when I said I would. I've been hyper focused on checking stuff off my to do list today and honestly, it feels like I barely got anything done. My apartment is a mess. Every room is filled with a bunch of stuff on the floor and on the furniture. I don't just have to clean up, I have to do some major decluttering. Marie Kondo style. (Although, I reminded myself to be grateful to even have the things to take up space.)

This is relevant because even the floor in my kitchen is taken up by boxes and the counters are full of items and non-perishibles which makes it hard to cook and honestly, it's not the most sanitary when dealing with raw meat(I wash my hands multiple times and don't use the same utensils, though).

Grocery shopping took me two hours because instead of making a straightfoward list, I kept checking back on my chats with ChatGPT. I also was not familiar with that grocery store and for some reason a lot of the same/similar items are not next to each other. It was also a big grocery store(moreso dense).

After I got home at 13:00, I deep cleaned out my fridge. I washed the shelves down and everything. I still have the door to do and the freezer to declutter. Then I left to get my son from daycare at 15:00.

When I came back, I had a snack:
cucumbers+deli turkey slices

It was a strange combo, but it was suggested by gpt and I guess it worked, for like 20 minutes lol

Then, I got to cooking. I made salmon and sauteed green beans for dinner. It was my first time sauteeing green beans and I didn't like how it turned out. I like my veggies to be soft and not all of them turned out that way. I liked the flavor though, I even added bacon grease and I don't feel bad at all about it! It will probably take some practice. The salmon was just okay as well, I seasoned the top well, but unfortunately the inner part was bland. I don't know if there's a technique to this or if it will have to be marinated. My son liked the salmon though, he ate it up, so that's a win.

I made egg muffins: eggs, spinach, pork sausage, and bell peppers, while the salmon was baking. It turned out well, but I forgot to salt the mixture. :rolleyes: The bell peppers added a bunch of flavor though. I love bell peppers. This will be my breakfast for the week.

All in all, I wasn't able to fully meal prep today.
 
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I weighed myself today. I probably lost weight from not having groceries for the past two days. I'm 155.6lbs (70.6kg). It was the first time I felt actual hunger in a long time. How lucky am I?
 
Decluttering is so satisfying. Well done for eating home-cooked stuff! I´ve relied on store bought stuff for a few months now because I´ve been under tremendous stress and I always gain when I do that. But I´m eating home-cooked stuff again now. It´s almost like the body can´t get satiety cues quite right with processed stuff, I guess, or maybe cooking does something to me psychologically or physiologically that makes food feel more satiating.
 
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