Are You An Amateur Food Critic?...

[ChefChiTown]

Ok, I hope I can word this correctly so everybody understands what I am asking. And, since most of us are fairly good at eating, I figured this would be a good place to ask.

When you eat food, do you:

A) ...just eat it and, if it's good, enjoy it?

or

B) ...analyze the flavor profile, texture, mouthfeel, aftertaste (etc) and then critique it, before you decide if you enjoy it or not?

My dad is one of the people that fits into category B. And, to be honest, it bothers the HELL out of me. And, I'll tell you why.

For those of you who don't know, or can't tell from my super secretive and clearly misleading username, I'm a chef. And, I used to work in restaurants out in Chicago. (Say whaaaat, ChefChiTown? No way!!! Crazy!!!) And, I don't mean this to sound boastful...well, ok, maybe I do ...but my food is pretty damn good.

Anyway, I don't mind when people critique my food. I actually like hearing if there are any improvements that I may be able to make on my recipes. But, what I DO mind is when people, especially ones like my dad, overanalyze the crap out of the food that they're eating (whether I made it or not). You know, the kind that puts food in their mouth and then stands in the "don't bother me, I'm thinking" pose while they eat it? You know, they kind of lean against something, cross their arms, tilt their head back and then look off into the distance as if they're staring at something really cool, even though there's nothing there? Then, they slop the food around their mouth, making annoying slapping noises with their tongue as they try and taste the food as if they're an expert on flavors all of a sudden? As if they are trying to guess what each and every ingredient is that you put into the food, even though they obviously have no idea what you put in it? And, they don't say a word for like 5 minutes. All they do is say "hmmmm" every once in a while, as if they are in a deep sense of thought? As if they are thinking reeeeeally hard? As if they are on the brink of finding the answer to a really hard mathematical algorithm? But, there's a slight cockiness to their "hmmmmms", almost as if they are just trying to remind you that they're overanalyzing the shit out of your food, just to piss you off? Then, as if all of that isn't annoying enough, before they tell you what they think of your food, they begin their statement with the most annoying phrase in the world to people are who good at cooking...

"You know, if I made this..."

...and then they critique the shit out of your food, as if they could make it better? Even though they can't even boil water without severly screwing it up? Even though they can't even properly season a slice of toast? Even though they haven't even mastered the art of using a microwave yet? THOSE kind of people piss me off.

Oh, and just to let you know, everytime those kind of people say "You know, if I made this...", I'm finishing that sentence in my head with things like...

"...it would suck."
"...not even my dog would eat it."
"...then the bottle of laxative in the medicine cabinet would no longer be needed, because I'd probably have diarrhea for a week and I'd have no problem emptying my colon."

ANYWAY, I just wanted to know how you guys eat. So, do you just eat food and enjoy it or do you analyze it like crazy before you decide if it's worth enjoying or not?

Personally, I analyze things, but not to a crazy degree like the example I stated above. I taste it, I let the flavors sink in for a moment and then I decide whether I like it or not. If I like it, I leave it at that. If I don't like it, I leave it at that. Well, unless I'm eating my own food. I'll admit that I overanalyze my own food sometimes. But, that probably stems from my drive to want to create a perfect meal for everybody when they eat the food that I make. Either that, or it's because I'm Kuh-rAY-ZeE!!!

 

[San2]

For me, it entirely depends on what it is. If it's something I know, I'll just eat it and that's that.

If it is something that somebody else has made, and that I don't know, I'll try it and give it a few moments to see if I like it or not. Flavour, obviously, and texture, are the main two things for me.

I don't necessarily offer critique - if I didn't like something, I wouldn't go out and say it, since it might be down to my personal taste rather than the dish itself not being good. If I like it, I might or might not say it, depending on the situation, and who made it.

If I'm asked, I will let people know what I think, and why, as nicely as possible. And I don't think I have ever started a sentence with 'If I made this.....' because I'm a horrible cook, and I admire everybody who can hold a pan the right way around.

 

[Jericho]

I do B, but Amy is the same way lol.

It comes from the fact that I love to cook. I have a sense of taste that is fairly well defined (even thought of being a chef once). I've also eatten around the world so I have ideas on taste, texture and what is 'good'.

I only do it when I'm with Amy at resturants though, I know anyone else would be annoyed as hell

When it comes to her cooking, I'm not critical unless it is something way off. If it's a new dish, I usually use the words 'tinker to make it your own'. She made mashed califlower for the first time for our dinner. It was great but needed a little more salt and pepper. I told her it's great, just needs to be tinkered a little.

 

[Big D]

heh B for me, but I know you're one of the only people that would suggest D. hahahaa

 

[Sephora 0128]

Having started attending Culinary School I can't just eat food any more. I have to analyze it and wonder if I could cook it too. I then critique what I would do differently. If I'm at a restaurant, I find ways to make what I'm eating healthier or less calories. Example ~ my friend loves the Fiesta Lime Chicken at Applebees but she just found out the calories and flipped. I'm working on making it healthier for her. That's how I critique food.

 

[jen_renee]

I chose B. If It's something I know I like, I eat it, and don't think much about it. If it's something new, I try it, decide if I like it or not.... If I do like it...I eat it. If I don't like it...I don't eat it..haha...pretty simple huh? Although most of the time, if someone else made it, it could taste like dirt and I'd still eat it, because that means I didn't have to cook it..hahahahaha!

 

[clever_plant]

I couldn't resist

 

[crystalyasbeck]

I chose A because i dont think about i eat so fast and i enjoy it while im eating i have an overeating problem and am overweight...wanna lose around 100 lbs...

 

[Wild Vulpix]

Hahaha. This poll jumped out at me because my boyfriend's father is totally C. His mother is too, if only because of his father. My boyfriend's daddy is also a chef/cook-guy-thing, so I guess he feels entitled to critique not just taste, but presentation and staff. (Poor little waitress! Leave her alone!)

At first it didn't bother me... but the more I noticed it, the more it got under my skin. I mean, if he ever threw in any positives into the bucket, I'd be happy. But no. He has to go out of his way to point out what sucks about a restaurant (and I'm sure that's something he shouldn't be talking about; he got majorly sued because of his one and only restaurant that he owned in the past. I'm not sure why he was sued... but they lost a LOT of money, so it had to be something pretty bad!)

My boyfriend critiques too, but not to the same degree as his daddy. And heck, so do I. But it's always attempting to pinpoint what it is exactly that we like about it than why it sucks.

 

[nothingnowhere]

A I dont really think about what I am eating I just enjoy it.

 

[Big D]

hmm, so, we have me, plant, and 4 other weirdos on this board so far. lol