Anyone still talk to an Ex?

gingerbabe

gingerbabe

New member
I currently am in a platonic way, but I am wondering if it's healthy. It's him that is usually calling/texting, but I always respond. It's stressful for myself though, but I know he still wants me in his life. I'm not too sure what do do or how to handle this.

When I get stressed I eat and it is affecting my weight. We made plans for me to visit him in November, but I am terriffied I won't lose the weight before that.

He thinks that I want to not talk anymore so I can get over him. I AM over him already, I just want to move on at this point. Get on with my life....

I am confused and lost.
 
No one else is going to look after YOU but yourself.

So you need to kick back and ask yourself what YOU want.
 
Kick it...

Girl my opinion is that if you all broke up it was obviously for a pretty good reason or you all would still be together. You don't need someone in your life that you already kicked to the curb. I'd say end it, especially if it's getting in the way of your goals. :flame:
 
It seems like you know for sure you do not want him in your life now. So I agree with everyone else, why stick with it?
 
I do...have too...I share three kids with her. If I did not, I think I would not want anything to do with her. When things got "bad" with her, I binge ate in secret while she was out and my kids were in bed...NOT healthy...and it took me four months to realize this and finally realize I was not being treated how I should/deserve to be treated. That being said, only you know what your ex brings to the table. If it is everyday relationship stress, that is one thing, but if you are stressed because of how your ex treats you, that is another. I say...follow your heart, but make sure your brain agrees. Good luck to you.
 
My ex and I have remained friends after our divorce. We don't see each other because he still lives overseas, but I don't see the harm in it.
 
My exwife and I got divorced over 7 years ago and still talk to each other a couple of times each month. I don't feel stress when we talk. We have no unresolved issues.

However, there has to be a reason you feel stressed. You say you are over him. Are you sure? Is he over you, or is he still trying to get back together. Is there an issue between you that makes you stress?

You will have to either find the cause of the stress and deal with it if you still want to be friends with him or explain to him that the stress of communicating with him is unhealthy for you and make a point to have him not call or text you anymore.

Without knowing more of the details of your relationship, it is hard to give you focused advise about how to deal with it, but seeing you didn't get into details in your post, I will assume that you wish to keep them private.

I wish you the best of luck in your decision.
 
I think the reason I don't feel any stress talking to my ex-husband is because I have no romantic feelings for him at all, only platonic...and I've forgiven him for the way he almost single-handedly destroyed a marriage that I worked very hard at.

He was always a good friend, we simply weren't meant to be married.

I think if the OP is stressed out by talking to her ex, she needs to examine why that is. You don't want to add stress to your life, especially if there's no reason to. If she has kids with the ex, that's one thing...but if she doesn't and talking to him stresses her out, why do it?

I haven't even told my ex I'm losing weight; no point, he'll most likely never see me again and I don't care what he thinks of the way I look.
 
unfortuneatly, i have to see my ex at school every day... she became my gf's friend right after i dumped her and started going out with my current gf. this was about 2 years ago. my x cheated on me, lied to me about it, and still wont admit it. she is only 16 and she is doing a 24 year old... ew. well, my current gf hates her now because my x keepes telling me she wants me to cheat on my beloved with her... I WILL NEVER DO THAT!!!! plus, she lies to her a lot and now, its coming back to bite her. i really hate having to see her every freeking day... its seriously like a death sentance... when i was in the hospital with NF and almost died, my current gf would come see me every day, but one day she decided it would be fun to bring my x there (they were still friends at the time) and what happened is, i was in a ton of pain and the morphine was not working and i was basically crying and all my x could say was "stop crying! your going to make nicole cry!"

talk about a bitch.

she can burn in hell for all i care...

oh, and btw, the guy my x cheated on me with is one of my friends... i actually thanked him for telling me because it showed he really felt bad about what he did, and plus, he was drunk. i couldnt hold it against him, but my x was completely sober so yea...
 
kingfisherkohl said:
unfortuneatly, i have to see my ex at school every day... she became my gf's friend right after i dumped her and started going out with my current gf. this was about 2 years ago. my x cheated on me, lied to me about it, and still wont admit it. she is only 16 and she is doing a 24 year old... ew. well, my current gf hates her now because my x keepes telling me she wants me to cheat on my beloved with her... I WILL NEVER DO THAT!!!! plus, she lies to her a lot and now, its coming back to bite her. i really hate having to see her every freeking day... its seriously like a death sentance... when i was in the hospital with NF and almost died, my current gf would come see me every day, but one day she decided it would be fun to bring my x there (they were still friends at the time) and what happened is, i was in a ton of pain and the morphine was not working and i was basically crying and all my x could say was "stop crying! your going to make nicole cry!"

talk about a bitch.

she can burn in hell for all i care...

oh, and btw, the guy my x cheated on me with is one of my friends... i actually thanked him for telling me because it showed he really felt bad about what he did, and plus, he was drunk. i couldnt hold it against him, but my x was completely sober so yea...
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Ouch. She clearly is very immature. Girls like that are not worth your time. Trust me, there are nice honest girls out there that are not insane :) If the girl you have right now is a keeper, be good to her.
 
Thanks everyone for the replies.
It's complicated, but I honestly don't have any romantic feelings for him. He was great a great boyfriend for the years we dated, it was just the last 2 or 3months that left me with these feelings. It's difficult for me due to the fact that the years we were together, we loved each other, were best friends, and trusted each other infinitely. So, the last 2-3 months of the relationship was emotionally hard and quite the shock...or slap in the face.

Those 2-3 months just changed how I viewed him as a person and as my boyfriend. He openly took me for granted and said some hurtful things that changed how I felt about him, with just a few words (and actions...). He always made the hurtful things he said seem ok to say, because he followed everything with "I'm just being honest....” Of course I got an apology for everything he said to me, he always apologized later for things he did/said.

An example of something he does now that bothers me would be like today, when he texted me "I hate napping by myself :("
He later texted me "Don't worry; we'll get plenty of naps together over Thanksgiving break...”
I hate that he assumes I'll always just be waiting around for him. I think he truly believes we'll get back together after he goes and has his fun. I was there all summer long and he ignored me and treated me like scum. So, I'm not waiting around for his dumb-ass. I have my own life. He had his chance. He thinks it's the least I owe him. But I don't know what to do...

I think I just go along with it because it doesn't take much effort on my part to reply to a text or pick up the phone when he calls.
 
If it is bothering you and stressing you out then leave this guy in the dust.

I talk to all of my ex's actually. Not phone wise but on the internet I do, constantly. Hubby even plays XBox with them. lol But there is no stress. We all ended on good terms and can handle being friends. Most of them are happily married as well anyways. :)

But seriously, sometimes the past should be kept in the past. Maybe he is one of those thing that should be left behind?
 
bran said:
If it is bothering you and stressing you out then leave this guy in the dust.

I talk to all of my ex's actually. Not phone wise but on the internet I do, constantly. Hubby even plays XBox with them. lol But there is no stress. We all ended on good terms and can handle being friends. Most of them are happily married as well anyways. :)

But seriously, sometimes the past should be kept in the past. Maybe he is one of those thing that should be left behind?
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I am starting to realize that not speaking to him and not having him in my life is an option. I think I almost felt obligated to, because while we were together we talked about what would happen if we ever broke up. Basically, he just said that even if we weren't together he would still want to know me and what I'm doing with my life. And at the time, I agreed, but things have since changed and he's not the person that I once wanted to know anymore.
I'm going to try to keep the most distance I can.
 
gingerbabe said:
I am starting to realize that not speaking to him and not having him in my life is an option. I think I almost felt obligated to, because while we were together we talked about what would happen if we ever broke up. Basically, he just said that even if we weren't together he would still want to know me and what I'm doing with my life. And at the time, I agreed, but things have since changed and he's not the person that I once wanted to know anymore.
I'm going to try to keep the most distance I can.
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You are right. Things do change. An agreement once made, may not always be able to be kept.

Maybe you can find the happy medium. Where you talk every great now and again, just to catch up. Maybe with distance you may find that you are more than fine without him in your life period.

Either way, you will figure it out. :D
 
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