Anorexia.

T

Tal106

0
Hello there :)

Some of you regulars might have seen me make a few posts a while back about how my weight loss was going and well, here I am back again after having been severly underweight.
Yes, I was anorexic for a while. I cut out a LOT of my eating and overexcercised and as a result lost most of my fat and muscle stores which resulted in a near-death experience for me because any of my major organs would've had started being eaten..

So I'm back again, for advice from you guys.. what would you do in my position?

The health service is building my weight back up to a low normal (i.e a BMI of 18.5)
Which I'm nearly at, I think (about 1 kilo or less off that)

Once that happens I dont know what to do to get a body I'm happy with..
I'd like to be rather slim and toned and I've said to everyone I'd like to start into swimming.
Does that sound like a good idea to achieve what I want?
I'm 16 so I'm still obviously growing so I dont know if weights are the best choice but I'd be quite happy to start into those if it was safe.

I dont really care what the scales say anymore, I'd rather have a low body fat precentage, a smaller waist, and have a good bit of muscle mass.

So again I'll ask what would you guys do in my position? I need advice! :)

Thank you :)
 
i think that swimming is a great idea. Having been a swimmer all of my life I have learned the the excersise creates a long and lean body instead of bulky. Also I would suggest weight lifting low weight but high reps which also created the longer leaner look.
 
Swimming is awesome! I love the feel of water.

I think in your position though, I would ask a professional for advice. Of course, you want to exercise, eat, and so fort. But the problem, I suspect is body image. You said you want a particular body image, and it could easily fall back into the previous behavior. I'm skeptical of saying, "Do this and you will get that." You might end up being disappointed after a while of doing swimming and end up not having the body you thought you could get. Honestly, I recommend getting a healthy eating habit going. You're 16, so remember you have the rest of your life to do anything. Right now, you should accept your current body, and not worry so much about being slim and athletic.
 
Dallen said:
Swimming is awesome! I love the feel of water.

I think in your position though, I would ask a professional for advice. Of course, you want to exercise, eat, and so fort. But the problem, I suspect is body image. You said you want a particular body image, and it could easily fall back into the previous behavior. I'm skeptical of saying, "Do this and you will get that." You might end up being disappointed after a while of doing swimming and end up not having the body you thought you could get. Honestly, I recommend getting a healthy eating habit going. You're 16, so remember you have the rest of your life to do anything. Right now, you should accept your current body, and not worry so much about being slim and athletic.
Click to expand...

Wow, someone who understands :)

Yeah, its a horrible thing.


Today I went back to the hospital to get weighed (I am pretty much an out-patient) and they were actually thinking of putting me back in because I had lost a bit of weight (I wasn't being strict with my meal plan and my activity levels had risen a little bit).
Thank God they decided to give me another chance and I will NOT, I repeat NOT fall back.

The reason I wanted to lose weight in the first place was to become fitter and healthier, anorexia is neither.

When I first got admitted to hospital I thought that they were going to make me "fat" to be blunt.

But I can now see that they are there to build me to a healthy weight (a BMI of 18.5, nothing more or less.. well perhaps a bit more, but that is just to give me a bit of "way" for excercise/growing/activity and what-not).

I have and am asking for exactly what you said, proffessional advice, and I dont think they have anything against the running, swimming or weight lifting I have planned for when I get back to a healthy state.

What I'm really getting at is, do you think it'd be a good idea to do a BIT of weight-lifting and swimming/running when I am back to full health? (In moderation and sticking to a healthy diet of course)

One last question
What would you guys do in my position?
 
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Sure, it's always a good thing to do exercises. I mean nothing is wrong with that. Remember, a lot of times you start off with good intentions, but somewhere along the line, you begin to develop problems. I had the same problems. My original intention was to gain a healthy diet, exercise, and so on (I never really had the intention of losing weight, though). What happened was that after several months of doing this, I developed a rather strange habit of eating. I would have intense cravings and started to binge eat (for example, one day I ate an entire box of pizza, then went outside and exercised to a point where I felt sick) and spent several hours at the supermarket. Lucky for me, it didn't develop into a serious problem, and I thus far managed to stray away from the habits I developed before. I had a little help from family and friends, and I think overall I managed to get out of that hole rather quickly. Now I exercise freely, and enjoy many healthy food (and sometimes not so healthy) without worrying about the affects of it. I found that with this thinking, I gained a lot more strength in lifting, running abilities, and swimming abilities.

I think in your case, once you get over having negative body image, and start enjoying things for what they are, you can freely enjoy many things. I think at this point, don't put so much stress into thinking "what you can do after you get healthy." Right now you're at a critical point where thoughts such as these can put you right back into your old habits. Don't stress so much about having a particular body, and don't stress out about what is good or bad. Just enjoy yourself, and you'll find that certain exercises are enjoyable, while others not so much. Worry about today, and take it one day at a time. I think you should listen to your doctor's advice, and just go out and enjoy yourself. Perhaps you should avoid being around people/things that placed these thoughts into your head. Maybe go as far as changing schools or perhaps you can get together in a group and talk it out with people who had similar problems. I'd imagine they do a great deal once you hear that you're not alone and that your problem is really common and can sometimes be easily removed (especially at a young age). And most importantly, don't compare youself with others (ie that woman must be so healthy, etc).
 
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I think, in some ways, that you have to concentrate on the NOW instead of the future. Right NOW you need to care for yourself, and I understand that it's hard to "let go" and just do that, but I think that's the work you need to do right now. Learning to love yourself enough to take the time and effort to have a healthy body and healthy mind takes practice and determination.

If I were in your position, I would try to find some counseling to go along with the medical doctoring you're receiving. Anorexia is a complicated condition, and has to do with much more than what the scale says. I think you may be stabbing in the dark, looking for a body you can be "happy" with, without really having any idea of what that means to you.

Focus on having a mind you are happy with. Try to not be so hard on yourself. I know growing up is hard--I have a 16 y/o daughter with diabetes who struggles very much with loving herself enough to take good care of herself. If it is hard to do it for yourself right now, try to think of all the pople in your life you'll love and who'll need you to be healthy. Your future husband, and ability to have future babies depends on it.

Do activities you enjoy doing, with people you enjoy doing them with. Don't do any "exercise" now for the sake of exercise, just do things you enjoy for now. Don't stop reaching out to others for support--either here on this board or any other group you feel comfortable with....!
 
Tal, believe it or not I was in a situation similar to yours but much more mild a little while ago, no hospitals or anything. However, I think if you can put yourself in the right mindset, I really think you should start to weight train. When I was pretty underweight and afraid of getting fat, I actually came to this website for some help. I realized that if could add on muscle, my metabolism would increase and I could therefore eat more without putting on any weight. The scary part about this is that you have to eat more to add muscle, and this took a while for me to come to grips with. But if you can do this, your life will change so much for the better.

I also think you should read as much information as you can that is on this website, so you can arm yourself with a ton of knowledge to help you on your way to a healthier weight. It will be an indispensable tool to get better.

Good luck!

(p.m. me if you want any more help)
 
Thats some great advice :)

But, believe it or not I am actually a male anorexic >_<

Well, after having recovered from it (or I am very nearly there) I can say that I appreciate my family and friends a LOT more than I used to, so that is one good thing about it.

In fact, I think I generally appreciate my life a lot more.

To be honest, what I think I'll do is get to a healthy weight and do a LITTLE excercise to start with, and very gradually increase it along with my diet (if needs be).
But it certainly won't be the top thing on my priority list, this time I'll make sure I wont fall down that slippery slope of anorexia again.
Thankfully, my case of anorexia wasn't as serious as a lot of other people's.

Thanks for the advice guys, its nice to hear there are understanding people out there, there's certainly not a lot of them left.
 
Hey Tal believe it or not... I'm a guy too. I know how you feel man. Again good luck and let me know if you need any help.
 
I'd like to do weights, yeah, but I think my body's metabolism is still a bit screwed over.

I.e, anything I take in could be used instantly because my body will think I've started to excercise a lot again.
I think I'd be safer going with the professional's advice to be honest.

My "theory" (if you like :p) is that when I begin swimming, any body fat I have put on would simply come off gradually and my weight would go up/be maintained by muscle mass.
Would I be correct in saying that?

I might start doing light weights eventually, but when I hit my target weight (it is 50.5kilos, I think I'm at 48.9 at the moment) excercise will be built in and my weight will need to be maintained. Of course, it'll hardly be possible to hit that target straight on, but I wouldn't mind having that extra little bit on, because it'll be burnt off so easily (and I probably wont even see it).

Swimming seems like one of the things I want to get better for, I'd like to get as fit as I can possibly be, but I can't exactly do that with the state my body is still in.
 
Hey Tal,

I've been in this situation before. I lost a little weight....then took it to an extreme while overexercising if I ate even the littlest thing. It started a healthy thing...ended up a very unhealthy thing. I was hospitalized for 3 weeks at the childrens hospital next to Stanford in CA when I was 14. Anyway, that being said, I've also gone through the whole out patient clinic thing. I had to go for a full year and nearly had to be readmitted a few times. They had certain goal weights for me. One was "exercise weight" this was basically the lowest weight they would allow me to be while exercising. I lost a lot of bone density thanks to what I did also so weights were out for almost a year beyond my initial "recovery". I returned to swimming, gradually at first...and this was all I did for a while. I added weights gradually when my doctor gave me the green. Weight bearing activities build bone density provided you have enough nutrition. Adding back exercise was a delicate balance with the weight gain. It was hard to gain weight while exercising because my calorie requirements were SO high for a while. I was eating nearly 5000 cals and still losing. It was hard ANYway to gain weight, but the exercising helped my shaky self-image. Adding weights helped even more. Doing nothing while gaining weight after starvation will allow it to become more of a fat gain than muscle gain. That was hard for me to deal with until I got to my exercise weight. I'm very PRO exercise with weight recovery. Hopefully those around you will feel the same

I'm not answering your question....I would do as other posts have said and share your desires with your health professionals and then allow them to help you plan your diet around a certain amount of exercise each week. I'm sure part of your recovery is the psychiactric part of it, if so, keep that communication open. I'm glad you have a good support team of friends and family too, that makes such a huge difference.

The only thing that helped me not relapse was the affirmation of those around me, and a goal of wanting to continue to swim on my team. I didn't achieve my "ideal weight" until 5 years later and now I'm 10 pounds and 3 inches taller than those days. Just be sure you are able to balance the weight and activity. set up some accountability with it so that you are sure not to relapse. Set a goal. In my opinion, once an anorexic, always an anorexic. We may recover to a great extent but that mind set is really always lurking. What helps me continue to move forward and not backwards is my involvment in organized athletics and keeping a good model for my girls.
 
Tal106 said:
Hello there :)

Some of you regulars might have seen me make a few posts a while back about how my weight loss was going and well, here I am back again after having been severly underweight.
Yes, I was anorexic for a while. I cut out a LOT of my eating and overexcercised and as a result lost most of my fat and muscle stores which resulted in a near-death experience for me because any of my major organs would've had started being eaten..

So I'm back again, for advice from you guys.. what would you do in my position?

The health service is building my weight back up to a low normal (i.e a BMI of 18.5)
Which I'm nearly at, I think (about 1 kilo or less off that)

Once that happens I dont know what to do to get a body I'm happy with..
I'd like to be rather slim and toned and I've said to everyone I'd like to start into swimming.
Does that sound like a good idea to achieve what I want?
I'm 16 so I'm still obviously growing so I dont know if weights are the best choice but I'd be quite happy to start into those if it was safe.

I dont really care what the scales say anymore, I'd rather have a low body fat precentage, a smaller waist, and have a good bit of muscle mass.

So again I'll ask what would you guys do in my position? I need advice! :)

Thank you :)
Click to expand...

Looks like you have gotten some great advice already, but I wanted to add, have you thought about maybe doing some team sports? It's great exercise and it can also be fun. Or if not, maybe something else like tennis or badmittitton. If you are 16 you should have access to school sports or maybe at the YMCA you could find something of interest.

There are a lot of fun and interesting sports activities out there that can help you shape up without it being "exercise".

I only say this because it sounds like you still have that focus on your body image (as a few others have mentioned) and as difficult as it may be to get away from that, this might be a means to feel good about your body without making it the main focus.

Good luck
Diane
 
Its hard to explain how I got so focused on body-image, but I think I looked at myself when I was a bit chubby and thought "God, what the hell have I done to myself".

My self-esteem sort of sunk, and I think the suicides of a few friends of mine may have had something to do with it (I won't get into details).

Although it doesn't seem as big a deal as it used to be, possibly because I have gained weight and none of my friends have seen much of a change. (Or else they're afraid to say, or just maybe happier to see me returning to health)

Obviously I don't want to be scrawny, but I'd like to be pretty lean/muscular, is it really hard to achieve that?
I think I understand now that no matter what your diet, your body will change shape (within reason).
 
Tal106 said:
Its hard to explain how I got so focused on body-image, but I think I looked at myself when I was a bit chubby and thought "God, what the hell have I done to myself".

My self-esteem sort of sunk, and I think the suicides of a few friends of mine may have had something to do with it (I won't get into details).

Although it doesn't seem as big a deal as it used to be, possibly because I have gained weight and none of my friends have seen much of a change. (Or else they're afraid to say, or just maybe happier to see me returning to health)

Obviously I don't want to be scrawny, but I'd like to be pretty lean/muscular, is it really hard to achieve that?
I think I understand now that no matter what your diet, your body will change shape (within reason).
Click to expand...

The fact that you are 16 means you got a whole lot of changes ahead of you. I think staying active will help you better achieve a healthy body and mind. At your age, diet really wasn't a big factor for me. I think at your age, limiting yourself is also not conducive to being healthy. You are right, your body will change shape thru out your life, it's just a part of growing. Try and move away from being so critical of what your body shape is, and focus on what is healthy for your body.

Cheers,
Diane
 
Tal106 said:
One last question
What would you guys do in my position?
Click to expand...

Exercise is healthy, no doubt.

But remember that a male 16 year old who exercises needs to eat a lot just to maintain weight; if you are trying to gain (which is probably a good idea if you at BMI of 18.5), you'll need to eat even more. Healthy calorie dense foods include nuts, dried fruit, fatty fish, and avocados.
 
tjl said:
Exercise is healthy, no doubt.

But remember that a male 16 year old who exercises needs to eat a lot just to maintain weight; if you are trying to gain (which is probably a good idea if you at BMI of 18.5), you'll need to eat even more. Healthy calorie dense foods include nuts, dried fruit, fatty fish, and avocados.
Click to expand...

18.5 is my target, I'm currently at about 17.5.

Currently my diet isin't healthy, here is my meal plan:

Breakfast: Cereal (Can't be a bran or other low calorie cereal)
2 Slices of toast with butter
Tea

10AM Break: Fortijuice (A 300 calorie energy supplement) and a scone with butter

Lunch: Portion of protein (I.E Beef, chicken, turkey, or whatever)
2 Mashed Potatos
Portion of Veg
Water
Full desert (I.E Cake and custard, whip, semolina and canned fruit, or something else along those lines)

3PM Break: Fortijuice (Supplement)
2 Biscuits or Chocolate bar, or crisps

Dinner: Chips, waffles or wedges
Something with protein in it, e.g breaded chicken, fish fingers, etc.
Yoghurt
Tea

Supper: Toast and water

So yeah, quite a lot to be taking in a day I think..

In terms of excercise I dont do much of course, normally walking or whatever but weight gain has still been very slow.

But I reckon all the muscle I've been rebuilding has stopped and now the weight that is going on is just body fat, could this be true?
I mean, I don't see any part of my body that doesn't look "normal" now.

My face, which used to be gaunt has become filled out and normal looking enough, hell even my ass isin't anywhere near as bony now.

It's not annoying me that much, because I'll have time to work on it when I'm better..

Opinions?
 
Ah yes, another thing.

Will I more than likely keep my weight/rise up if I keep a maitenance diet and swim?

I know muscle weighs more than body fat will, so will this result in a lean body, but more/the same weight? I couldn't really care what a number on a scale has to say about me :p
 
Tal106 said:
18.5 is my target, I'm currently at about 17.5.
Click to expand...

You might want a higher target than BMI of 18.5. Of course, with a healthy body fat percentage.

Some foods to consider:

1. Try peanut butter, almond butter, cashew butter, and other nut butters instead of butter on bread (toast, scones, etc.). They can add taste variety and are healthier than butter.

2. For snacks and desserts, nuts and dried fruit can be a tasty and healthy way of getting extra calories (either by themselves or added to other things).

3. If you eat salads for vegetables, you can generously add olive oil based salad dressings to them to add calories. Nuts and avocados also go well on salads.

Also, how many calories depends on how much food you are eating. Your list does not mention how much meat, vegetables, cereal, etc. for many of the entries.
 
tjl said:
You might want a higher target than BMI of 18.5. Of course, with a healthy body fat percentage.

Some foods to consider:

1. Try peanut butter, almond butter, cashew butter, and other nut butters instead of butter on bread (toast, scones, etc.). They can add taste variety and are healthier than butter.

2. For snacks and desserts, nuts and dried fruit can be a tasty and healthy way of getting extra calories (either by themselves or added to other things).

3. If you eat salads for vegetables, you can generously add olive oil based salad dressings to them to add calories. Nuts and avocados also go well on salads.

Also, how many calories depends on how much food you are eating. Your list does not mention how much meat, vegetables, cereal, etc. for many of the entries.
Click to expand...

Well, me being still part anorexic means I am still counting calories and im trying to get it into my head that low-calorie does not mean healthy.

Anyhoo, my portion sizes are pretty much standard to what everyone else gets.

I'd really love to get back to weight training or some form of toning excercises at least, because I know all I am doing now is piling on body fat. But oh well, it can all be worked on I suppose...

I'd love to have nice abs and a low body fat precentage, can this be achieved without changing my diet much?
Will swimming be a good excercise to achieve that?
 
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