I've had a love-hate relationship with my body for nearly 20 years now. About 10 years ago(when I was 20) a few things happened at roughly the same time:
People started finding me attractive for the first time in my life.
I had enough money to indulge myself.
My cat pushed a large vase on my scale and broke it.
As a result, I started...growing. I kind of knew I was getting fatter but as I'm 180cm(5'11''), it wasn't too obvious. Eventually, I just accepted it as one of my flaws and decided to roll with it(pun maybe intended). Until last month a few more things happen at roughly the same time:
A girl in her early twenties moved in next door. I'd always thought round was a shape short people could achieve. But she is tall. And round. Which confused me at first as I'd never really considered that I could be round myself. I'd never thought it was somehow possible to gain enough weight to be almost as wide as I am tall. Yet, there she was.
Following that, I bought a scale. And realised I'd drastically underestimated just how much weight I'd gained. I had almost doubled over the last 10 years and that was pretty shocking.
The last thing was seeing a fat acceptance video. It wasn't just seeing the physical possibilities but also the mental state those women were in, trying to shame and bully others into liking them because they'd already completely given up. I'd always thought of my size as a flaw that I'll get around to fixing. But what if there's a point when you just...stop trying? That scared me more than anything else could.
And, so, I came up with a plan. While it does have the 1kg/week hope in it, I've decided to focus more on slowly altering my lifestyle. I made myself a diet and exercise tables focused on a weight range. For every 5kg I lose, I'll increase my biking distance and the repetitions of my exercises. For every 10kg I drop, I'll shave another 250 kCal from my daily intake. The plan being that when I reach my target weight, I'll be consuming about 1200-1300 kCal a day while also maintaining a reasonable fitness plan. I wonder how that'll work out...
People started finding me attractive for the first time in my life.
I had enough money to indulge myself.
My cat pushed a large vase on my scale and broke it.
As a result, I started...growing. I kind of knew I was getting fatter but as I'm 180cm(5'11''), it wasn't too obvious. Eventually, I just accepted it as one of my flaws and decided to roll with it(pun maybe intended). Until last month a few more things happen at roughly the same time:
A girl in her early twenties moved in next door. I'd always thought round was a shape short people could achieve. But she is tall. And round. Which confused me at first as I'd never really considered that I could be round myself. I'd never thought it was somehow possible to gain enough weight to be almost as wide as I am tall. Yet, there she was.
Following that, I bought a scale. And realised I'd drastically underestimated just how much weight I'd gained. I had almost doubled over the last 10 years and that was pretty shocking.
The last thing was seeing a fat acceptance video. It wasn't just seeing the physical possibilities but also the mental state those women were in, trying to shame and bully others into liking them because they'd already completely given up. I'd always thought of my size as a flaw that I'll get around to fixing. But what if there's a point when you just...stop trying? That scared me more than anything else could.
And, so, I came up with a plan. While it does have the 1kg/week hope in it, I've decided to focus more on slowly altering my lifestyle. I made myself a diet and exercise tables focused on a weight range. For every 5kg I lose, I'll increase my biking distance and the repetitions of my exercises. For every 10kg I drop, I'll shave another 250 kCal from my daily intake. The plan being that when I reach my target weight, I'll be consuming about 1200-1300 kCal a day while also maintaining a reasonable fitness plan. I wonder how that'll work out...
