a question for the guys please......

M

May66

0
I can't figure out why I still feel uncomfortable about being in the free weights section of the gym I go to. It's almost always all males in that area and I still feel like I don't belong there. I wear my iPod, mind my own buisness, can certainly hold my own after 2 years and lift descent weight with the best form I have been taught. I can feel (and see when I allow myself to look) assorted men giving me looks like wtf?! Am I crazy to feel this way even though I know its going on? Whats on your minds? It's not like I am inappropriately dressed either - and I might add I am old enough to be some of their Mothers. Any suggestions for how I can fit in better and not feel this way? Thanks : )
 
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I think it's mostly in your head. All guys I have ever known who were serious about lifting, loves women who lifts! And if there are guys at your gym who, for some reason, don't like women who lift, then screw them. Go in, do your thing and go out. A lot of guys might look a bit hostile at the gym, but it's mostly because they are concentrating on their workout, I know I look a bit mean when I'm working out, but that doesn't mean I'm hostile or anything.
 
I agree with Karky, which is a rare feat. It's all in your head. Most people are there to lift and the serious ones are concerned about their form / breathing / and their pump; most themselves. Honestly, working out is pretty much a solo activities and most people are there to better themselves and not really looking at you. Well, unless you ripped your pants / short while doing the squat; then they may look at your rear.

Okay, I do check out some of the other people there in-between sets but not passing any real judgement. I might ask if someone wants a spot if they are struggling with heavy weights or I might be looking through a person to see myself in the mirror. Honestly, I used to have that issue when I first did yoga. I thought other people were looking at me or the what-not but I realized now that they are more concerned about their form and themselves then how funny I look.
 
We're told not to care what others think.....but that's just like saying "Don't judge a book by it's cover"...we still do it anyway.

Here's reality. It's not what we think. It's not what others think. It's what we perceieve and believe others are thinking....that's the clincher. If you're feeling great about yourself and believe others see you in this manner, then you're inclined to project this is how their impression of you follows.

Let me share this with you. I attend a lot of spin classes at my gym. When an instructor calls for another turn on the knob, I always crank some more on and often because I don't want to be seen as someone who isn't adding more. I also don't like to crank slow because I don't want to be perceived as weak or sand-bagging. For some reason, I presume other people are watching (not constantly, but every now & then). Oddly enough, I don't look at anyone else. Sure, I may glance around and occassionally notice someone else's cadence, but I've never cared to notice if someone else is cranking-on more tension, peddling fast or what-not. The reality is, I don't really care or look at anyone else, and nobody is really looking at me either. It's in my head. As Karky suggested and my story reinforces, I sincerely doubt anyone is really looking, thinking or taking much notice of you.

I for one think it's great when a gal breaks free of the aerobic-based classes and grabs some iron. It doesn't make her butch, a lesbian or anything....it just means she works weights and realizes the value & benefits of weight-training. I'm not going to suggest people aren't noticing you, but more likely then not it's not nearly as much or as in depth as you may feel & figure. Maybe they're impressed, intimidated or just surprised to see you do your thing....but like anyone will tell ya, don't worry about it. :)
 
I can understand about not feeling like you're "fitting in."

If you're staring at people, then my guess would be they're thinking, "Why is this person looking at me? Do I have a boogie?" Equally though, you could be thinking they're staring at you when you're really the one staring and they're just wondering what in the world going on. Either way, best not to stare otherwise you'll become paranoid.

I think it's in your mind. Just walk in, do your thing, then walk out. If you feel uncomfortable, bring a friend along.
 
May66 said:
I can't figure out why I still feel uncomfortable about being in the free weights section of the gym I go to. It's almost always all males in that area and I still feel like I don't belong there. I wear my iPod, mind my own buisness, can certainly hold my own after 2 years and lift descent weight with the best form I have been taught. I can feel (and see when I allow myself to look) assorted men giving me looks like wtf?! Am I crazy to feel this way even though I know its going on? Whats on your minds? It's not like I am inappropriately dressed either - and I might add I am old enough to be some of their Mothers. Any suggestions for how I can fit in better and not feel this way? Thanks : )
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I don't think it is about disliking you there, like some of the guys mentioned, I think it is about the fact that you are there. It isn't often that you see women in the free weights 'section' at a lot of gyms, so it is probably surprising to some. I'm sure they don't hold any animosity towards you, but are not use to having a woman there.

I do know what you mean, as I have also seem the questionable "look" when I worked out at the public gym. I'm not that big so It was sort of odd this small woman and these very large men. But over time I did see more women there, and it didn't seem so odd...

I wouldn't worry about what you think they are doing, focus on what you need to get done, and you'd be surprised how quickly you don't notice, or even the offers of encouragement you may get :)
 
May - I completely feel your pain. I think it is up to you on whether or not you can deal with it. I can be very anxious in social situations and have been known to have spaz attacks. It can be brought on by working out at a gym, being in an elevator with someone else or just being somewhere public (like an airport) for too long. I soon stopped working out at the gym and bought my own weight set for home; A bench press that has a pulldown/row and a dip stand with a pullup bar is all I need to do all the essential exercises. I am much happier this way and don't have to consider other people at all.
 
Thanks so much

for the words of encouragement and understanding. I don't have anyone in my real life who would have even remotely understood this. I will think of your comments next time I feel, well, any of the feelings mentioned above : )
 
I think because it's a rarity for women to be in the free weights area, you might get a few stares. Also, there's a lot of testosterone going on, guys like to look at girls that look fit.

So, it's probabally a cross between amazement that you're there and checking you out.

Keep on keepin' on.
 
Probley thinking shes pretty neat, lol. Im 17 and I know many lads who look at older woman in a good way, lol.

All the best :)
 
evolution said:
So, it's probabally a cross between amazement that you're there and checking you out.
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This is exactly it. I'm guilty of taking a glance or two at a fit woman lifting weights... I usually find them much sexier than an equally fit woman on an elliptical.

The only time I've even thought negatively about a girl in the weight room is when she's using little rubber dumbells in the squat rack or leaving her Jamba Juice on a plyo box.
 
X3, I think it's amazement that you're there and that they're checking you out. I'll admit there have been a couple of older women (older than me anyway :) ) in the freeweight section and it's made me think "Dayummmn!" :D

But FWIW I don't stare, I'm there for the same reason they are I assume, to get and/or stay fit!

SkianS40 said:
This is exactly it. I'm guilty of taking a glance or two at a fit woman lifting weights... I usually find them much sexier than an equally fit woman on an elliptical.

The only time I've even thought negatively about a girl in the weight room is when she's using little rubber dumbells in the squat rack or leaving her Jamba Juice on a plyo box.
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Haha I feel you there! :jumping:
 
Workout Buddy

Hi May,

For my female clients I recommend that they find themselves a male workout buddy for sessions in the weights room. When you're in there with a guy you'll be left alone and you'll probably find you enjoy the resistance training element of your fitness regime much more :)

Hope it helps!
 
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a few quick thoughts

1. Note to self: leave the Jamba Juice at home : )

2. Finding a male lifting partner would mean I actually have to talk to one of them......hmmm........its an idea to consider......I'll let you know if I take the leap.
 
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May66 said:
1. Note to self: leave the Jamba Juice at home : )

2. Finding a male lifting partner would mean I actually have to talk to one of them......hmmm........its an idea to consider......I'll let you know if I take the leap.
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May, I like your attitude.

I just wish more females realized the benefits of weight lifting in addition to doing cardio, instead of being scared they will end up looking like those big guys. Keep going to the free weight area and start a trend in your gym. I'll bet there are other females there that feel the same way you do, and more females doing free weights will help make other females more comfortable doing the same.
 
for sure and they also use free-weights. ? (even though I would not recommend feet on the bench) and looks good off the bench as well :).
 
Karky said:
All guys I have ever known who were serious about lifting, loves women who lifts!
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g8r80 said:
Maybe it's because you're really hot.
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evolution said:
So, it's probabally a cross between amazement that you're there and checking you out.
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Agree with all these, it looks like you're in good shape and have a fit body so some of the guys are gonna trying to check you out on the sly. Also, a lot of guys who train for muscle themselves are attracted to women with a bit of muscle too. Women like that are rare so when they see one they're all over her like a rash

On the whole, guys who like lifting are supportive of anyone regardless of age, sex, race etc who also want to lift properly. If you've got decent form then they may well be looking in admiration too. I've only ever seen 2 women squat properly and when I saw them I had to admit they held my attention for a few reps, I wasn't checking them out physically, it was just a look of admiration that there were women training properly and not just doing half reps on the leg press
 
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