5 toughest questions a woman could ask a man

maleficent

maleficent

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The five toughest questions a woman could ask a man
The questions are:
  • What are you thinking about?
  • Do you love me?
  • Do I look fat?
  • Do you think she is prettier than me?
  • What would you do if I died?
What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.

Question # 1: What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is: “I’m sorry if I’ve been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you.” This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:
  1. Baseball.
  2. Football.
  3. How fat you are.
  4. How much prettier she is than you.
  5. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, “If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!”)

Question # 2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: “YES!” or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, “Yes, dear.” Inappropriate responses include:
  1. I suppose so.
  2. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
  3. That depends on what you mean by love.
  4. Does it matter?
  5. Who, me?
Question # 3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic: “Of course not!” Among the incorrect answers are:
  1. Compared to what?
  2. I wouldn’t call you fat, but you’re not exactly thin.
  3. A little extra weight looks good on you.
  4. I’ve seen fatter.
  5. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question # 4: Do you think she’s prettier than me?
Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: “Of course not!” Incorrect responses include:
  1. Yes, but you have a better personality
  2. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
  3. Not as pretty as you, when you were her age
  4. Define ‘pretty’
  5. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question #5: What would you do if I died?
A definite no-win question. (The real answer, or course, is “Buy a Corvette.”)
No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:
  • She….Would you get married again?
    He…..Definitely not!
    She….Why not - don’t you like being married?
    He…..Of course I do.
    She….Then why wouldn’t you remarry?
    He…..Okay, I’d get married again.
    She….You would? (With a hurtful look on her face)
    He…..Yes, I would.
    She….Would you sleep with her in our bed?
    He…..Where else would we sleep?
    She….Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
    He…..That would seem like the proper thing to do.
    She….And would you let her use my golf clubs?
    He…..She can’t use them; she’s left-handed.
:) just trying to be helpful again.. .:) though truth be told - those are the questions no female with more than 2 brain cells should ever ask but should you get a dumb one... gents - that's how you should respond :)
 
Funnieh! :D
 
I love it!! Now some gentleman on this site needs to come up with the 5 questions a woman should never ask a man!! It didn't take me long after I got married to learn to NEVER ask those questions because you really don't want to know the answers!
 
I think one of those questions would be:
1. am i the best you ever had? :D Now do you really want to know the answer? :D
2.Was it good for you? Again -if you have to ask you probably don't want to know the answer :)
 
maleficent said:
I think one of those questions would be:
1. am i the best you ever had? :D Now do you really want to know the answer? :D
2.Was it good for you? Again -if you have to ask you probably don't want to know the answer :)
Click to expand...

Now this question could go both ways for a man or a woman! I think that anyone really wants the truthful answer to this question!!:)
 
Man: why does it matter if I leave the seat up or down you always check before you sit anyhow?
Woman: because I said so that's why...

the age old battle - never ask a woman why it matters about anythin - because she said so is the response - don't argue :) yes the seat up or down is totally stupid - but... pick your battle :) you'r ethe man you're gonna be wrong :)
 
LOL, after I had been married about 15 years, I finally started giving the right answers to these questions, along with stopping trying to "fix" every problem my wife had, instead of just listening sympathetically.
 
yep, when men are faced with a problem, they want to solve it. Women just want you to listen and care. LOL.

Unfortunately for me, Mal, I don't always check especially at 3am when I once stumbled to the bathroom and didn't turn on lights.. then was rudely awakened because I've fallen in the toilet instead of sat on it. LOL.
 
photocrazed said:
yep, when men are faced with a problem, they want to solve it. Women just want you to listen and care. LOL.

Unfortunately for me, Mal, I don't always check especially at 3am when I once stumbled to the bathroom and didn't turn on lights.. then was rudely awakened because I've fallen in the toilet instead of sat on it. LOL.
Click to expand...


I think boys are just born with this disability! I am a single mom of 3 boys and all three of them leave the seat up after they are done. They didn't learn it from their dad or grandpa or any other older male figure so I guess they are just born with it!:D
 
It can (and should) be trained out of them.

Pronto ;)

Bob not only lowers both seat and lid, he cleans the bathroom.
Life as it should be!
 
M2M said:
It can (and should) be trained out of them.

Pronto ;)

Bob not only lowers both seat and lid, he cleans the bathroom.
Life as it should be!
Click to expand...

My oldest is 11 and I have to remind him everyday to put the seat back down. I told him if he ever fell in the toilet in the middle of the night he might learn but unfortunately it hasn't happened to him yet:mad: My other two are learning that mom means business when she yells PUT THE SEAT BACK DOWN everytime they pee!!I threaten to put them back in diapers!At 4 and 5 they take me seriously when I say it! Husbands who clean the bathroom.........pure heaven!:)

Back to the thread another question a woman should never ask a man is do you like my cooking? Many a man I know lie about this to their partners some of them with good reason:p (I lie to their partners too)
 
Dragon, I really think it should be as broad as - -Do not ask any questions that you are not fully prepared to get an honest answer to.... for both genders...
 
maleficent said:
Dragon, I really think it should be as broad as - -Do not ask any questions that you are not fully prepared to get an honest answer to.... for both genders...
Click to expand...

I will agree with you there! Some questions are really better left unanswered!
 
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