In Love With Someone I Can't Be With...

S

Servo888

0
Let me tell you my story...

It all started about 1.4 years ago. It's summer time, I'm on my computer, and bored out of my mind. I decide it's time to get a job (19 at the time), so I beef up my resume and post it on craigslist... 2 days later I get a phone call for an interview at an educational company. I go to the interview, get the job, and start working (yeppi!). This is where I met the girl. She's 9 years older than I am, and one of the most interesting people I've ever met. If you have a problem, she'll listen; if you have nothing to talk about, she'll find something. She cares about people, there is not an ounce of selfishness in her. I finally understand what people mean by "beauty is on the inside"... Most importantly she has a brain, and she uses it. She has ideas, theories, and applies them to everyday life. I get so bored with many of my friends; but not her.

But... She has a boy friend, it's serious, and I would never get in between that. We're friends, and hang out every now and again... But it kills me to see her, I would do anything to be with her, but I know I can't :( . Some days I wish I would have never met her.

At least I now know what true love feels like...
 
Tell her how you feel.
 
She's been talking about marrying the boyfriend, so I highly doubt she will dump him. It's a lose-lose situation for me...
 
We dont know the entire situation; however, there is intelligence in accepting the things you can change from those you can not change, and wisdom in knowing the difference.



Best wishes to you,

Chillen
 
The only way you will ever know is if you tell her how you feel. And do it now BEFORE the bf is a fiancee. Obviously if you hang out and are already close, you mean something to her as well. Life is too short to not tell others what they mean to you.

Just an opinion from an old broad who let too many what ifs pass her by.
 
Listen man, forget it. I'm going to be harsh here, but it's for your own good. Every hour you waste pining over this girl is missed opportunity with another girl. She thinks of you as a friend. F-r-i-e-n-d. Period. If a girl likes you as more than that she'll let you know, she'll show that kind of interest. You can't change her mind. That's harsh, but it's reality. It's happened to me(i was 19 once too). It's happened to every guy on the planet, but the smart ones move on asap. There are literally billions of girls out there for you to meet, and trust me she is not the only amazing girl. Someday you're going to be that boyfriend and you'll be able to chuckle about some poor sap who's pining away after your girlfriend. Now get off your computer, get out of the house and talk to some girls who are interested! :beerchug:
 
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Man, you aint in love with someone you really don't know. Dont get stuck on 1 girl; get talking to like 3-4 of them at a time to keep yourself busy.
 
philsaigon said:
Listen man, forget it. I'm going to be harsh here, but it's for your own good.
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Pritty much. The deeper you dig the hole, the harder it is to climb out.

Similiar thing happened to me afew years back (2005). I was with this girl nearly everyday all day for about 6-7 months. And then she tells me she's moving to australia with her parents. She doesn't have a choice because neither of us is even 16 at this time. But it broke my heart when she went. Thing is, we still talk over MSN daily, and text each other. Her voice still makes me smile and talking to her puts me in a timeless paradox. I just forgot about her for awhile and soon enought started liking another girl, not as a replacement, but who I had fun with and things went from there.

Maybe it'd be good to stay away for awhile and then still remain friends after that, because from what you've said she's a really cool person to know.
 
Yeah, good advice. It really does boil down to "theres more fish in the sea". I know how it feels to think she is the only one, and its hard to change that mindset, but in this case, it sounds like you have to move on mentally.
 
I"m a guy that became 'friends' with too many girls that I wanted to date, so it never worked out.

If she's never given you ANY inkling that she feels that way about you...she doesn't. You need to just shove your feelings aside and look for another woman that you could actually have something with.

Also, not to be a prick, but true love is when BOTH people are on the same page of the relationship. Since she's only reciprocating friendship, this is not true love.
I don't doubt that you love her, and are even in-love with her (yes, they're a little different)...but I feel this can't qualify as true love because that's not what your relationship with her is about.

My wife that I've been with for 10 years and married to for over 5 years...I feel that qualifies as true love. I spend so much time with her that she drives me nuts sometimes...yet I still cannot imagine my life without her as my partner. When you hit that stage...that's true love.

But hey, you like this gal for all the RIGHT reasons (who she is, not what she looks like). A guy like that shouldn't have problems finding the right/available woman if he looks hard enough.

Good luck man!
 
mate if she shows you any signs of interest beyond friendship then think about going for it. But there isn't really any going back from there. To be honest I'd say move on. Eventually you'll get over her. At least in that light.

Never get too attached to a girl it kills you. And as Mreik said, don't have too many 'girl' friends. Ie, have 4 girls numbers, but only talk to them on a romantic level. Then if you feel vibes go for them, otherwise you can either stop talking to them or become friends. Just be honest from the start and you'll be fine.

I suggest you get some guy friends together. Hit a club.
 
tonymcclellan said:
Why is that? Hes not showing her interest, so why should she show interest in him?
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Listen, I don't know the whole story, and I may be extrapolating too much, but you hear this crap over and over. It sounds like the usual 'guy likes girl who just needs a "guy girlfriend" to talk to' scenario. This kind of thing is a waste of time if one of the parties has further interests. It works both ways. Come on, you know when a girl has it for you...The way she acts around you, the way she smiles, the way she talks to you, jokes with you, trys to be around you, they way she just has those slight butterflies around you etc. So a girl can also sense that from a guy. She absolutely knows that he's into her - I'd bet a thousand bucks on that. And, if in this situation she was interested too, then it would happen. You also know how it feels when you have a girl that's into you and for one reason or another you just don't feel it for her. But at the same time you kind of enjoy the attention or even just like the genuine friendship - but at the end of the day you're not going to go further with her.

Look, If he wants to give it a shot and it won't interfere with his work or whatever, then sure, make a move. And don't care less about 'getting in between her and her boyfriend' , that's his problem. But my advice is make a clear move and if it is not reciprocated with 100% interest then move on to the next girl. Life is just way to short to fawn over one girl who's already taken.
 
philsaigon said:
Look, If he wants to give it a shot and it won't interfere with his work or whatever, then sure, make a move. And don't care less about 'getting in between her and her boyfriend' , that's his problem. But my advice is make a clear move and if it is not reciprocated with 100% interest then move on to the next girl. Life is just way to short to fawn over one girl who's already taken.
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Absolutely agree.
 
Thank you all for the comments :beerchug:

So as it stands now I'm starting the 'dating' process again... This time I've setup an online profile; I've had friends who've had success with such things... So far it's going bad; apparently I'm quite the stud when it comes to women aged 41 and above... I don't understand something though; one of the hottest (highest rated) guys lacks the ability to use punctuation and grammar. Since when do looks matter :bncry: .

*sigh* I have a plan b though.
 
Hey STUDly, the opinion I gave was the same I have given my SON in the past. At least he fakes that he respects the wisdom I have gained from experience. I'll shut up now : )
 
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