..well, then what you're doing and where you're at is basically perfect, and you're letting your mind play tricks on you. Just ignore it and revel in the fact that you're smoking hawt, and assume anyone who doesn't think so is brain damaged. Including you 
Remember that where you are is what's actually attractive and healthy. Try to get as little media input as possible...it's all propaganda designed to delude you into thinking that being strong and healthy is "being bulky and unattractive" and being skinny, unhealthy and messed up about food is "beautiful." Eff that noise, is all I have to say.
P.S. I do however, vaguely remember seeing a thread of yours in which I read a day or two of your food intake, and remember thinking it was on the lowish side. Have you calculated your RMR and looked at how many calories a day you should be eating? I know it's an area of difficulty for you, but it would help to know. You can use your desire to be more lithe as leverage to overcome your fading desire to undereat.
Remember that where you are is what's actually attractive and healthy. Try to get as little media input as possible...it's all propaganda designed to delude you into thinking that being strong and healthy is "being bulky and unattractive" and being skinny, unhealthy and messed up about food is "beautiful." Eff that noise, is all I have to say.
P.S. I do however, vaguely remember seeing a thread of yours in which I read a day or two of your food intake, and remember thinking it was on the lowish side. Have you calculated your RMR and looked at how many calories a day you should be eating? I know it's an area of difficulty for you, but it would help to know. You can use your desire to be more lithe as leverage to overcome your fading desire to undereat.
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